Unable to sleep without being held - 3 weeks old

[monstera16]

My almost 3 week old struggles to stay asleep in his cot or moses basket during the day.

He will fall asleep while being held, and upon transfer will wake up after 5/10 minutes and will not settle until held again.

I have tried putting him down just before he falls asleep, swaddling (moves a lot), putting him in his sleeping bag and trying to soothe him back to sleep.

When he wakes, he will start sucking his hands acting hungry (EBF), however he is definitely full and will fuss and then start crying. As soon as he is picked up, he will fall back asleep within minutes.

At night, he will sleep for around 2 hours before he wakes, but will begin stirring after around 1h30 and spend 30 mins moving and then falling asleep on repeat.

Any tips or advice for both day and night time sleep would be great - DH has gone back to work and I would love to be able to fit in a nap while DS is sleeping and try and get better sleep over night!

It's still very early for you but we established naps by feeding to sleep in my arms then when they were completely out, carefully transfering to a bouncy chair and snuggling up with a blanket. White noise to hide rustling and gently bouncing the chair.

At first this only worked for a short while but soon we were getting 40 minutes naps then over an hour twice a day. This worked with both mine. At 3-4 months I could just pop them in the chair at nap time and bounce them to sleep without the feeding to sleep.

For night time. We split the night between us. I would feed and pump at 8.30ish. baby got snuggled by daddy and put in a moses basket in a dark corner in the lounge while I went to bed upstairs at 9. Dh would do a feed as and when needed (I appreciate you ebf) then bring up to me at 1,ISH and slot moses basket into the next to me cot. I would take over from then.

Make sure any night time lighting is very low, and everything quiet. In those early weeks it's all about getting night time Vs day time sorted as baby is still usually backwards at that point.

Prioritise sleep for you and baby. My oh used to take ds out before bed time. All trussed up in a carrier (in February) and he would sleep for a bit before we did the above routine.

What your baby is doing is completely normal - 3 kids here and none of them slept during the day much until 12 months old. I agree that cuddling to sleep then transferring to bouncer where they feel a bit cocooned is a good option.
also it’s fine to feed your baby to sleep constantly at this age. Don’t bother trying to pat them or shush them. they mostly want milk and cuddles! The nighttime wakings you’re experiencing sound normal too.
Can you tag team with DH so he stays up with baby until midnight/1am while you get some sleep and then you swap?
you just have to get what sleep you can when they are this young.
it does pass. Promise!

Exactly the same here.

fed to sleep, when confidently out like a light, I transferred. But that didn’t work for some time.

3 weeks old and baby slept nowhere but on one parent, day or night.

Very normal, baby still in the “fourth trimester”. Don’t forget they have no concept of what a bed is! They’ve spent the last nine months floating around blissfully, naked, in your nice warm belly not having to worry about weird sounds, temperatures, etc.

What a pp said so normal… your DC is in the 4th trimester they don’t get they aren’t still a part of you. My DD didn’t nap not in my arms until over a year in the end I went to bed and slept with her - as safe as I could - I know and remember the bone aching tiredness but the days are long but the years are fast it will pass just relax as much as possible find a series on tv or sleep beside baby do what you need to cope

Sounds normal. Did you get a stretchy wrap in your baby box? Baby will sleep and you can have your hands free.

Keep going with the swaddle, try putting a hand on the tummy /chest as they start to stir, try adding really loud white or brown noise, try a swing, try putting the moses basket next to the washing machine on spin cycle, try going to a drive in the car, try the pram and do lots of jiggling (you can then wipe off the wheels and bring it into the house if it works). You just need to find what works, and each baby can be different

Totally normal! Honestly for me it was cosleeping and contact napping that saved me, though we did persist with putting her down in the daytime and she would sometimes nap in the pram and sometimes we'd have to stick with the contact napping. We bought a firm mattress especially to feel happier about cosleeping and if you're EBF and follow lullaby trust guidelines it's safer.

Some babies hate swaddling, mine did! Felt cruel to do it to her if she disliked it so I didn't.

Completely normal and your life will be easier if you accept it rather than trying to problem solve. When the other parent gets home, feed the baby, hand him over (possibly in the sling to maximise sleep and enable tidying up) and sleep for a few hours.
Do feed him when he’s rooting, that’s what builds your supply.

Oh I remember how tough this stage was, you just desperately want a chunk of a few hours sleep!

My tips:

• Use a really firm sheet/blanket for swaddling that doesn’t stretch. And swaddle the arms in very securely. It mimics the feeling of being held and stops them from waking themselves up with involuntary arm movements.
• If you have a partner at home with you in the evenings, give the baby a feed at 7/8ish and then you go straight to bed and try to sleep as much as you can while partner watches baby for the evening until the next feed is needed. Partner does a bottle feed if possible or if breast feeding brings baby to you in bed and then takes baby away to settle back to sleep before they go to bed. Then you take back over for the night. Means you get one chunk of good sleep at the beginning of the night.