3 year old waking up several times a night

[YoungerHeart]

My 3 year old has never been the best sleeper but would usually stay in his own bed and wake early.

Recently he is waking up 6-7 times per night, sometimes he will go back to sleep but mostly he is crying for us or needing settled. The problem is he doesn't want his dad and when he goes in he just repeats I want mummy, I want mummy.

The only way he is semi- settling is bringing him into our bed. I say settling he still wakes up in our bed, talks in his sleep, cries and he's having a nightmare, and kicks lumps out of us both.

Needless to say none of us are getting any quality sleep. It's driving a wedge between my husband and myself as he thinks I'm too soft and he needs to learn to stay in his own bed which I agree with but at 3am I feel that any sleep is better than us all awake and cranky.

He's also decided he's scared of the dark in general so we got him the gro clock but this is making no difference, we leave his door open and our room is directly across, he has a comforter etc.

At my wits end and shattered! Any advice?

Just wanted to send solidarity! It's relentless. We had this with my 2y9m DD and I must say it did end up being a "phase" the parent preference is hard as you can't tag team.

I don't have a magic answer.

I used the Just Chill Mama course before and up until she was a toddler her sleep was pretty good.

I'm thinking we'll survive Christmas (away and sleeping in different places) and then in January I am going to focus on her sleep and that will sadly involved some crying which is much harder with such a vocal and loud toddler. Never really had to do it as a baby as she was just into her sleep more. Now never wants to leave me or sleep!

Watching with interest as we are in the exact same situation with your two year old who is normally a great sleeper. He is up for chunks of 5-6 hours through the night and is either wide awake or asking for me, as you have described here. Good luck

we got tough with DD at this age. stair gate on the bedroom door so she could see us but not get out. strict bedtime routine with lots of emphasis on staying in bed. no cuddles or chatter in the night time.

it was a tough couple of weeks but she learnt to settle and to sleep through properly. she's now a 15year old who won't get out of bed in the mornings.

Thanks everyone! We had a particularly awful night last time. I think the longest chunk of sleep he had was 45 mins. It's like he's having panic attacks in the middle of the night.

At my wits end, none of us have had any proper sleep in over a week now.

We're going through this too. Do you know what's causing the wakings?

If it's nightmares, there are specific things you can do to reassure - dream catchers, explaining that nightmares aren't real, etc. This seems to be a phase which is common at 3 and does pass.

If it's come on suddenly, it could be worms. This seems to be more common than you'd expect! Have a look online for the symptoms and how to check for worms.

If it's neither of these, the supernanny method is recommended a lot: every time they get up, silently take them back to bed. You'll have to do it over and over for a few nights, but apparently this works well. I haven't actually tried it because I'm too tired 😂

@sarahb083 I've asked him but he doesn't say anything specific just he wants to come into mummy bed.

We have a dreamcatcher in his room and we talk about dreams both good and bad.

No worms thankfully! I had them as a child so I know the signs. He's waking up in hysterics like he's having a panic attack so I suspect night terrors.

I've asked the doctor to refer him to ENT as I think he might have enlarged adenoids which are causing him breathing problems which might be causing the wake ups.

I fear the sleep training may be the answer 😵‍💫😵‍💫 we did it when he was one but I thought we were over that stage

Just want to note that the NHS does not recommend sleep training of any form and says that being responsive and showing your child they can rely you on is the best thing for their development. And this approach is evidenced by 50 years of child development research that says the same thing. Also note that sleep training is considered child abuse in Scandinavian countries, most other parts of the part aside from Western Europe. There was a time she corporal punishment was common too. Just because people do it doesn’t mean it’s right or helpful in the long run.

Cosleeping is the norm for most of the world’s population and has been the norm for vast majority of human existence. There is a reason for that. Please do not listen to the toxic norms of western culture - we’ve got it very very wrong.

After 16 months i hope he is sleeping through now 😂 @Betterways25