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Original poster

Early rising 5 year old

29 replies

warmmfeet · 04/12/2023 05:30

DS has always been an early riser since a young baby. Always a 5:30 - 5:45 type of guy. Recently it feels more extreme, getting earlier, 5:20, today was 4:40. Last Saturday was 3:40!!!!

He's nervous of the dark and scared to go downstairs by himself. So always comes to our room. Wakes us up. Attempts to return him to his room are short lived or end in loud whining / shouting that could wake his younger brother.

I'm at the end of my tether with it. I don't like waking up this early, I can't take it and it's starting to make me rage now when I look at the clock and it's 4am.

He goes to bed at 7:30-8pm ish. He's always super tired and out like a light. He will be 5 next week.

Anyone got any tips? Of even solidarity?

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 04/12/2023 05:35

Would he go back to sleep if he came into your bed? Mine used to come in to us and sleep in the middle, we all slept well.

Givemestrength23 · 04/12/2023 05:35

No tips but a whole heap of solidarity. It is brutal.

Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 05:37

Solidarity here Flowers

DS was like this from eighteen months to two and a half when it suddenly stopped. Last week we had early wakes again (and could today for all I know - baby DD woke me up!)

Gro clocks are always pushed on here but the problem is I’ve found is they wouldn’t work when I need them to. So for instance - DS wakes at 650 and his Gro clock is set to 7, he’s happy and rested and quite content to stay in his bed playing with his toys and that’s fine. DS wakes at 520 and his Gronclock is set to 545, he’s still groggy and tired and confused and grumpy, ignores the Gro clock and just cries / whines until someone gets him up. When he’s in that sort of mood there’s no benefit to insisting he adheres to boundaries, and it’s not as simple as ‘you’re tired so go back to sleep’ as anyone who has ever had sleep problems knows.

It must be miserable for them as well because they are still tired. I wish I had some suggestions as i absolutely hate it when DS does this and I really hope he doesn’t ’revert back.’ It isn’t just the fact that it’s too early (although it is) it’s also the fact you’ve got an incredibly long day ahead of you.

Original poster
warmmfeet · 04/12/2023 05:37

@LBFseBrom oh no sorry I should have said. It's extremely rare that happens. We've tried it lots but he tends to just wriggle and talk and doesn't go back to sleep, it's really frustrating,

OP posts:
Original poster
warmmfeet · 04/12/2023 05:39

@Summermeadowflowers yes we find the same with growclocks. They work for a day or two then get ignored, as do reward charts etc.
yes it's the long day ahead and worries about him being so tired at school etc

OP posts:
blabla2023 · 04/12/2023 05:42

Both of mine are early risers. oldest is now 11, and sleeps in.
Youngest is 6, and wakes up between 5 and 5:30 (use to be around 4:30).
Gro clocks only work for very obedient children- took both of mine less than 5 minutes to work out how to make the sun appear.
We have an audio book/music player in each room they can use, when they were younger they came into our bed.
You’ll need to get to used to it, we just ho to bed early ourselves.

Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 05:47

Gro clocks can work but when they wake up exhausted, irritable but for whatever reason unable to get back to sleep a Gro clock just won’t work. They are only really effective in short bursts and just in terms of encouraging children to stay in bed a bit longer. I’ve no issue with them and in fact they are a good idea but not with hardcore waking at 340 sort of child! Even very obedient children probably wouldn’t lie quietly in bed for three hours.

Going to bed early yourself doesn’t solve the issue of 9 am coming round and you’ve already been parenting for four hours either! I really think people underestimate what a toll it can take on you, especially in autumn/winter.

Lostatsea10 · 04/12/2023 05:49

No tips but total solidarity. Early rising 2 and soon to be 6 year old here. It’s brutally hard in winter.

heartbroken22 · 04/12/2023 05:52

Try pushing bedtime 8.30pm and see if it makes a difference. Is he awake from 5am to 7.30pm each day? My eldest is like that and if she goes to bed at 8 she'll wake up at 5. I just accepted she's happy with less sleep so pushed her bedtime later.

Goldbar · 04/12/2023 05:54

If you have space, I'd put a mattress on the floor in your bedroom so that if he wakes during the night, he can come into your room and lie down there so he feels safe. Maybe one of those kid ready-beds?

During the week, I'd encourage him to go back to sleep. If he really can't, I'd plug him in with earphones to a toniebox/yoto player and hope he drifts off again.

At the weekend, I'm not getting up at 5am for anyone so I'm afraid I'd just hand him over an ipad/tablet and tell him to watch something for a couple of hours and be quiet.

Rosiiee · 04/12/2023 06:02

Same boat OP with my two DS. No matter how much we push bedtime the night before, they’ll always be up around 5-5.30 😩 kills me!!!! Yesterday was 4!

Original poster
warmmfeet · 04/12/2023 06:02

He's a very headstrong person and he doesn't just go back to sleep. We do use a tonie box and have tried many strategies. Once he's awake in the early hours he's awake, it's like his mind switches on and it's all systems go. Possibly a much later bedtime might work after a few weeks if we really stuck with it. DH is against this idea as values having more of an evening.

This morning he's woken his hell raising 2.5 year old bother up at 5:30 too. I love these boys but the days are so hard when you start at 4:40 am

Really relieved to meet some people on here that get it though. Thank you

OP posts:
Rosiiee · 04/12/2023 06:07

Yep, if one boy is awake the other one wakes up immediately as well. It’s like they’re scared the other is having ‘fun’ downstairs and they’re missing out by sleeping! Like noooo please can we all sleep 😭 I just keep reminding myself that they’ll be teenagers soon (10 years to go….) and they’ll spend their lives in their room then 😂

Ellie1015 · 04/12/2023 06:12

We use grow clock. For us sun comes on the clock at 7am if one star on the clock (6am-7am) he can play quietly in his room.

I am wondering if grow clock would at least let him know still quiet time?

SutWytTi · 04/12/2023 06:14

Goldbar · 04/12/2023 05:54

If you have space, I'd put a mattress on the floor in your bedroom so that if he wakes during the night, he can come into your room and lie down there so he feels safe. Maybe one of those kid ready-beds?

During the week, I'd encourage him to go back to sleep. If he really can't, I'd plug him in with earphones to a toniebox/yoto player and hope he drifts off again.

At the weekend, I'm not getting up at 5am for anyone so I'm afraid I'd just hand him over an ipad/tablet and tell him to watch something for a couple of hours and be quiet.

I agree with this.

Basically stop trying to get him to sleep and start working on getting him to understand YOU need to sleep

It's natural to be afraid, it's natural to want the security of being near parents - sleeping on our own is a modern invention! But you can explain to him that everyone else is tired so you're happy for him to come in but he must have a quick cuddle then let you sleep.

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 06:20

This might be stupid, but could you set up a basket of toys and books he can get into when he rises to play quietly? Sort of coach him at bedtime what to do and not to disturb anyone until he hears an alarm go off? I would be nervous with a small child loose in the house if they were the wild kind, I'd have to get up and supervise but some kids are more capable of quiet play than others.

Leafysuburb · 04/12/2023 06:25

My 4yo has been doing this. I've had to set the heating to come on at 4am and then he's less likely to wake.

Also you need to resist putting on TV or feeding them - it's a bit like having a gremlin. If you feed him at 4/5 then his stomach will start waking him up at that time every day (I learnt the hard way with dc1!) I also find TV has the same effect.

Ascubudr · 04/12/2023 06:27

This is tough all you can do really is take him in to your bed, less easy if the baby sleeps in your room.

Groclocks are always mentioned on here no idea if they would have worked with early rising DS 20 years ago or me 46 years ago. Early rising or " morningness" is genetic.

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/morning-person-genetics-how-to

No matter how hard you try, you'll never be a morning person

Our genes are responsible for the way our body clock regulates our sleeping patterns. Biologists just linked more than 300 genes to your inability to be perky in the morning

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/morning-person-genetics-how-to

biggreenboat · 04/12/2023 06:29

Could he be waking up cold? It's been freezing this week. My 2.5yr old hasn't made it to 5am once for the last fortnight 😭 but I put the heating on at 3am today and he made it to 4.57 which seems like a step in the right direction.

Never mind the fact that the wee bugger stayed at his granny's on Saturday night and slept in til 6.10 for her.

Ascubudr · 04/12/2023 06:35

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 06:20

This might be stupid, but could you set up a basket of toys and books he can get into when he rises to play quietly? Sort of coach him at bedtime what to do and not to disturb anyone until he hears an alarm go off? I would be nervous with a small child loose in the house if they were the wild kind, I'd have to get up and supervise but some kids are more capable of quiet play than others.

This is all wrll and good for 20 minutes. Seriously people we are talking about a child waking before 5 so 2 hours ahead of when most people want to start their day. A groclock or basket of toys for 2 hours with no adult support or supervision ? Just think about that for a moment. Totally impractical.

Ostryga · 04/12/2023 06:38

I used to bring Dd in bed with me and give her my phone to play kids games so I could get more sleep. She did grow out of it - until advent - she’s been up every day since the 1st at 5, excited to open her calendar. That’s the last time I buy an exciting calendar 😂

Nofilteritwonthelp · 04/12/2023 06:39

I'd almost wonder if an earlier bedtime might be better, it could be that he's overtired and that's what's causing him to wake. Has something changed recently in his routine?

flowerchild2000 · 04/12/2023 07:10

Ascubudr · 04/12/2023 06:35

This is all wrll and good for 20 minutes. Seriously people we are talking about a child waking before 5 so 2 hours ahead of when most people want to start their day. A groclock or basket of toys for 2 hours with no adult support or supervision ? Just think about that for a moment. Totally impractical.

Show quote history

No need to be so rude for fucks sake

Original poster
warmmfeet · 04/12/2023 07:12

I was actually wondering if his advent calendar is playing a part ! Have told him we'll be doing it after school from now on because we all need more sleep.

Thanks for the genetics article - interesting

No no major changes. Or even slight changes. Apart from Xmas excitement building ? And it's his birthday next week and he's got a big (ish) part in his school play next week. Which he's said he's nervous about.

He's always been like this though it's just more extreme at the moment

OP posts:
Summermeadowflowers · 04/12/2023 08:28

I honestly don’t think it’s linked to food or screen time. I tried just having DS in a dark room with me being quiet for a good while and it didn’t work! It stopped as soon as it started with him, really no idea why.