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Original poster

Crying to sleep

7 replies

Flopsy2807 · 28/11/2023 14:55

My 4 month old daughter cries every single time she goes to sleep being rocked, cuddled, in the car, in the sling, in the pram etc. If I leave her to attempt to self settle, she gets hysterical with crying, whether I stay with her and try to comfort her or leave her alone. The only time she doesn't cry to sleep is feeding. We've hit the 4 month sleep regression hard and so I'm currently putting her back to sleep a lot both at night and in the day but it's so upsetting watching her get so distressed every time.

Has anyone else experienced this? Am I doing something wrong? Thoughts and advice please! ❤️

OP posts:
Astrocilia · 01/12/2023 18:30

I understand the worry. Is she overtired when you are trying to put her to sleep? It is possible she is fighting sleep. DS is 5 months and cries most of the time because of overtiredness, mostly in the evening.

GinnyBee · 01/12/2023 21:01

If feeding to sleep works then just do that. There is nothing wrong with taking the path of least resistance. Babies by design of evolution need a lot of support and to feel safe to be able to sleep, and the way each baby prefers to be supported and reassured varies.

Tiddybiddy247 · 02/12/2023 19:00

I'm in the exact same place with my 15 week old. I've started reading all the sleep books and blogs. None of them tell me anything I can use. Like you said they all talk about putting down drowsy but mine will scream and not stop screaming if I did that. Longest I could cope with it was 35 mins and that was with me rocking and singing, shhhing and patting. I haven't been brave enough to try it again.

Original poster
Flopsy2807 · 04/12/2023 09:42

Astrocilia · 01/12/2023 18:30

I understand the worry. Is she overtired when you are trying to put her to sleep? It is possible she is fighting sleep. DS is 5 months and cries most of the time because of overtiredness, mostly in the evening.

I keep wondering if she's over tired but I've shortened her awake windows to 1 hour and 40 minutes already! She's definitely fighting it, bless her 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Flopsy2807 · 04/12/2023 09:43

GinnyBee · 01/12/2023 21:01

If feeding to sleep works then just do that. There is nothing wrong with taking the path of least resistance. Babies by design of evolution need a lot of support and to feel safe to be able to sleep, and the way each baby prefers to be supported and reassured varies.

Thank you for your reassurance ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Flopsy2807 · 04/12/2023 09:44

Tiddybiddy247 · 02/12/2023 19:00

I'm in the exact same place with my 15 week old. I've started reading all the sleep books and blogs. None of them tell me anything I can use. Like you said they all talk about putting down drowsy but mine will scream and not stop screaming if I did that. Longest I could cope with it was 35 mins and that was with me rocking and singing, shhhing and patting. I haven't been brave enough to try it again.

I totally feel your pain! My LO doesn't have a dummy and we're considering introducing one just to help soothe and stop her getting so upset. At least we know we're not alone with it!

OP posts:
Brightandbreezey · 04/12/2023 10:16

If you are able to, I would just support her the best ways you can. If that’s feeding to sleep then do it. Putting to sleep “drowsy but awake” only works for a very small percentage of babies so it’s completely ok if your baby isn’t one of these (mine isn’t either!)
Check out Greer Kirshenbaum on insta and her book “Nurture Revolution”. It’s science based information on supporting our babies and infants and the myths that have been perpetrated over the years.
She says that even if your baby is distressed, having you there cuddling/supporting/reassuring is beneficial and important for your baby’s development and mental wellbeing,
I learnt a lot - especially not to feel like I’m doing something wrong when supporting my baby (she’s nearly 10 months old and currently asleep on my boob!).
Do what feels right for you and your baby and you will get through this xx

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