Bed-sharing....

[KCSIE]

STM after advice!

My first happily and easily bed-shared from around 3m old, lying on their back and head turned into me for a boob, I was in the c-curl. Textbook.

Second baby...slept well in the bedside crib and cot from day 1, no interest in bed-sharing so haven't pursued it.

Second baby is poorly atm and just wants to be held constantly and wakes very frequently at night because ill. I tried bed-sharing and we've just had a lovely cuddle in bed while baby snoozes/naps after falling asleep feeding. Great. The issue is baby screams unless their head is resting on my arm and they are laying on their side turned in to me. It's a very comfy cuddle for sure, but I was awake for this trial run, it's not at night. Is it ok to do this at night or is is an absolute no-no for safety? Whenever I tried to wriggle my arm free or put baby on their back, screaming. Baby is dressed lightly, noone in bed under the influence, no adult bedding near baby. It's just the position that gives me reservations but it's the only one baby is comfy in.

Baby is 7m old and I'm exhausted. Any advice?!

7m and able to sit and move? SIDS risk reduces a lot after about 4m and 90% are before 6m https://www.healthychildren.org/English/tips-tools/ask-the-pediatrician/Pages/are-some-babies-at-higher-risk-for-sids.aspx, when they can wriggle they'd be able to get themselves out of an uncomfortable situation. I'd say it's low risk, especially if you don't have other SIDS risk factors like smoking, preterm baby etc. Whether you can stay still all night with baby on your arm is another question!

Another thing I did a few times out of desperation was to have baby in sling asleep, then absolutely pack myself in with pillows on the bed so I could sleep propped up with very tiny chance of moving anywhere.

@KCSIE I sleep like this with my 6 month old. I can't promise it's safe but it's the only way he sleeps so that's what we do. We've slept like this since he was a few weeks old. He sleeps in the crook of my arm on his side with my boob in his mouth. Occasionally he sleeps deeply enough for me to remove my boob (!) but then I always make sure he is on his back if he's asleep without me holding him.

My arm does get sore after a few hours!! I also stick a pillow behind my back as I find I'm at a slightly strange angle.

My five week old wants to sleep like this, and when it's a last resort, I let him (i.e. when we've exhausted literally everything else for both of us).

I find that I genuinely don't move an inch during bedsharing though. My "compromise" position is a kind of modified c curl, with my hand under his head, my other arm cradle around him, and the whole position elevated by having his cot mattress beside me - the boost makes him feel more safely closer.