Cot aversion and Ferber

[SunnyDazeYellowMaze]

I’m thinking of trying Ferber with my 9 and a half month old but am worried that he will get serious cot aversion as a result (i.e. get hysterical whenever we approach his cot) as he already gets really upset if put in his cot awake. Does anyone have any experience of this and/or any words of wisdom?

FYI - whilst I’d prefer a gentler approach, I’m not convinced gradual retreat or PUPD will work for the reasons above - I don’t think he will be soothed by me sitting by his cot if I’m not holding him.

Thanks.

Ferber is cry based sleep training so if you do it then you should be expecting him to get upset. Also, if he were happy to go into his cot awake then you wouldn’t be considering it. I don’t see how it would make any difference whether he cries as he’s being lifted in or 2 seconds later when he’s put down. With any sleep training though you have to stay consistent and whilst Ferber isn’t gentle, it is usually quick so hopefully it’ll be done and no more tears at bedtime by night 3.

FWIW the only time I’ve heard of anything remotely like what you’re talking about is with babies that go to sleep in their cot happily at night but object to napping there, so the advice might be don’t do anything that risks upsetting the night sleep and let them nap in the pram or in your arms.

@InTheRainOnATrain That makes sense - thank you! I suppose I was worried that as the nights progress, he’ll get more and more worked up as the bedtime routine commences as he’ll be expecting it and therefore it will make him cry more, rather than less. I think I just need to try it rather than trying to anticipate the difficulties!

@SunnyDazeYellowMaze how did you get on? Currently in the same situation and could do with a little advice please?
hope it worked out for you guys!

@SunnyDazeYellowMaze how did you get on? i am thinking of trying ferber on my twins but worried they will react badly. i am reading other babies cry a max of 1 hr the first night and then progressively less and less. i think my babies will protest for hours. not sure i can cope with that

@SLEEPdeprivedMAMA23 @Reddeadsleepdeprivation Sorry - I can’t be of much help as after much consideration, I decided it wasn’t the right thing for my little one. Things have improved naturally themselves a little, although it’s taken some time. We now seem to be down to one or two wake ups, which isn’t perfect but is much better than it was.

That’s okay. I’m so glad things improved for you!! Do you still put your baby down asleep? Ever since the 4 month regression my two don’t sleep much longer than a few hours if they are asleep before going in their cots

@Reddeadsleepdeprivation yep - I still can’t get him down awake!

Ferber is brilliant and if you follow it exactly it only takes a couple of nights.

My baby slept through on night three.

Night one was awful, but night two was much easier, and to my amazement she just went to sleep and stayed asleep all night on night three.

@TheShellBeach this is so reassuring. Thank you. Any tips on how you got through the first night? It won’t take much for me to buckle

Hi again!

Just be prepared for it to take about three hours before your son actually settles. Possibly longer. You're breaking an entrenched habit, after all.

Take a flask of tea and a book with you to read outside the door. I was on the floor between bedrooms when I did it. DS was a young baby, in a cot in our room, and DD (who was getting the sleep training) was in her own room.

Make sure you have trust in the process and that you know it won't be quick the first night.

Bear in mind that you'll have to do it more than once on night one.

Don't let your husband dissuade you when your DS is crying. Trust the book.

Be aware that almost all people who do Ferber correctly get a much better night on the second night.
And that they generally have a baby who sleeps through the night on night three.
So it's worth it.

And be strong!
Don't buckle. It's people who buckle that claim Ferber doesn't work.

It won't work if you don't do what the book says.