Desperate mama seeking any advice because we need help!!!
My 5-month-old is generally happy throughout the day until it gets to sleepy time. She fights EVERY single nap and EVERY single bedtime. She does not go down without a 1-2 hour battle.
We bottle feed her to sleep and it worked well for the first 4 months until she started having shorter sleep cycles. She always falls asleep at the bottle, as she'll close her eyes within a minute of the feed, whether she just woke up or is going down. Some days she'll fall asleep on the bottle, but cries bloody murder when she wakes up without it, and is too upset to take the bottle again. Other days she'll have had a feed too recently and isn't hungry enough to take a bottle but is sleepy and doesn't know how to go down.
I have tried all the wake windows - she'll sometimes show sleepy cues and look tired after 1 hour, but usually closer to 2-2.5. No matter what, she'll still have a breakdown. There have been a few recent nights where you can tell she's tired after 3 hours but fights us for 1-2 hours and goes to sleep 5 hours after her last nap! We know she's overtired but can't get her to sleep when she shows cues to begin with.
She sleeps around 10pm every night (I've been trying to move it up, but because we can't get her to sleep consistently, we've been stuck with a night owl schedule). She has 1-2 night wakings for feeds where she'll go back to sleep after, and is up for the day anytime between 8-10am. Gets in 3-4 naps that are usually 45mins but sometimes 15 if it's just from eating without sleep pressure and lately sometimes 2hours if I help to connect her sleep cycles with a combo of crying+whatever method works that day.
I know the issue is that she needs to learn how to self-soothe and connect sleep cycles (I can tell she wants to because she'll wake and is frustrated and keeps her eyes closed while whining, trying to get me to help her fall back asleep), but I just don't know what method will work for her. We've attempted versions of gentle and full-on sleep training, but her temperament makes it difficult to be successful at any, as she will cry for 1-2 hours while we try everything. We have tried putting her down awake, drowsy, with butt pats, rocking, singing, bouncing, swinging, in the carrier, in the stroller, in the car, but nothing will consistently work for her until she is absolutely drained from crying. CIO feels so tough because there are times she cries until she vomits (and we live in an apartment complex where everyone can hear everything so it's not as feasible), we feel like Ferber won't help because checking in on her just agitates her even more when she knows we're around.
Any and all advice is appreciated!!! I am mentally and physically and emotionally drained and just want to help my baby girl sleep comfortably!