16 month sleep regression NEVER ENDING - please help

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My DS is 16 months. He has always been a pretty ok sleeper - pop him in his cot and he’d just send himself off to sleep with his dummy and comforter. He didn’t always sleep through, sometimes would wake for a re-settle but it was quick and pain free.

For the last 4-5 weeks he’s decided he can’t sleep without us being in the room, desperately tries to avoid his naps (he’s clearly knackered). Wakes several times a night and often for hours, he’s just wide awake. Wakes up super early.

I’m confident he’s going through a regression. Likely the 18 month one given his language has come on so much recently (he started walking at 10 months so it’s not that).

Can anyone share any advice on how to get him back on track? Mainly how do I get him to fall asleep without me being in the room and without leaving him to cry?

if you’ve experienced this regression, when did it end? And how did it end? Do I need to do something to help him out of it?

I’m shattered, and I’m trying my best not to get frustrated with him but it’s so hard when you’re so tired.

Anyone?

I sympathise, this was the worst one for us and like you our DD was a pretty good sleeper up til then. I was back at work and couldn't cope with the broken nights. We paid a sleep consultant in desperation but essentially used the method from Lucy Wolfe's book where you go in and check on them at certain intervals. We also switched the bedtime routine around a bit so she had milk before her bath outside the bedroom. It amazingly did all work and with minimal crying, but you do have to stick with it and be consistent. I can't remember the full details but worth checking out that book.

Thank you so much for your reply. It’s comforting to know that others have come out the other side - I’ve completely lost confidence with what to do so I’ll definitely have a look at the book.
Do you remember how long it lasted once you made changes?

I was in the same situation as you, up until 2 days ago. I have a 15 month old, who suddenly started waking up at random times in the night, and would not settle for hours.

I think she got used to me rushing in to settle her during the sleep regression, and just developed a "habit". So after 5 weeks, I decided to let her cry it out a little. When she woke at night, I waited 2 minutes, then went in to settle her. However I did not let her fall asleep in my arms. She naturally cried, but I left the room for another 3 minutes. Then that second time going into her room, I let her calm down in my arms, and then laid her in her cot and tapped her bum gently until she fell asleep.

She did cry, but because it was still early morning, she was sleepy and easily went back to sleep without a fuss. I think if it was 4 or 5 am then she may have fought it more.

This has seemed to do the trick, however all children are different, so what worked for me may not work for you.

Wishing you luck. It is pure torture when you have weeks of broken sleep.

@MakeItToTheMoon thabk you for your reply. So sorry to hear you’ve been going through it too, you’re right, it’s complete torture! Really helpful to hear how you’re comforting her at night, I definitely rush in too quickly and will try leaving him longer before I go in to him. We are mostly managing to comfort him in his cot, but I think delaying our response will help in the long run. Thank you so much and I hope your little ones sleep continues to improve.

We’ve started going through this now, thought it was teething but after calpol and anbesol last two nights, DD2 wide awake and unsettled.

We’ve tried lying her in bed with us, lying next to her holding hand through cot bars. Absolutely nothing works. I don’t remember going through this with DD1, he hit the 4-month regression hard though.

Either way I’ve been awake since 2.45am with about 3 x 15 min sleeps and no choice to involve my husband as our DD1 (3) has been up through the night too. It’s absolutely relentless, I hate to wish it all away as I’ll miss many aspects of this age. But the sleep deprivation is breaking us.

how are you getting on OP?

@Icantgetnosleep1 sorry to hear that you’re going through this too. Sounds very similar to us. I wish I had better news to share but we are still in the thick of is at 6 weeks and 2 days (not that I’m counting). Our DS seems to have ants in his pants. He is going to sleep easier if we get the timings right - we have used this as an opportunity to drop to one nap rightly or wrongly, but we wanted to be consistent and that’s what he does at nursery. When I say he goes down easier, not like he used to - in his cot alone with his dummy. We have to sit with him, as little touching as possible, just in the room and then sneak out. But something is waking him - he mostly sleeps until 11pm/12am and then can wake every hour or 2. He will go straight back to sleep when we’re in the room. Mostly anyway, some nights like last night he was awake 11.15 - 2.45 tossing and turning, lying down with his eyes closed but just not falling asleep.
Everyone is on at me to see a sleep consultant or let him cry but I really feel strongly he’s going through developmental leap 10 and very naively feel it will all just come good (I’m probably an idiot for thinking this). I did a free 15 min consultation with a sleep consultant last week and she told me to ditch the dummy, I get her theory but I just don’t feel that’s the problem. He isn’t losing his dummy at night, and his separation anxiety seems high - so surely it’s not the right time to consider that?
i wish I could provide some wisdom from further down the line but we’re at rock bottom today having all got a sickness bug that DS kindly brought home for the weekend. I just spend any free time going to bed at 8pm and looking for old posts on mumsnet from people that have been through it and come out the other side. Desperate 😂

Hi! What happened in the end? My daughter is doing the exact same. Since December her sleep has been awful .. up through the night. I'm going crazy and ready to check myself into the mental ward