HELP - My 9wo DS fidgets, sucks & grunts all night long - driving me mad....

[Babyisaac]

This has been going on for weeks now, on and off. My DS goes to sleep with his dummy and will sleep for a few hours in the evening. He is bf but gets a dream feed of formula at around 10.30pm to see him through. He will then wake at around 2am (this morning it was 1), not for food but just to spit his dummy out, suck his fingers VERY LOUDLY and grunt. It is never ending. I try to feed him but he just has a few sucks, dozes off and then cries as if I've taken him off - it's just a comfort thing. Even if he does fall asleep at the breast, he will wake as soon as he's moved and even if he isn't moved (we've tried co-sleeping), he will still wake and persist on sucking his fingers and grunting. I have spent hours with my finger on his dummy trying to keep it in his mouth so it isn't replaced by fingers.

He used to nap badly in the day but has improved vastly since we bought an Amby hammock. But, nothing works through the night. It's as if he's bored and just wants it to be morning.

Any advice? I had 2 hours sleep last night and average between 2-4 hours every day and it is starting to affect the relationship I have with my DH, despite us desperately trying to stay calm with each other.

Is he asleep whilst sucking his fingers or wide awake?

He seems to be wide awake, although his eyes are closed. He never does this when he sleeps during the day.

Perhaps his sleeping pattern is round the wrong way?

I have no idea what to suggest really. What happens if you just leave him to it?

I'm afraid we had to move ds to his own room when he was about this age, because of the same problem, I woke with every little snuffle, grunt and sleeping whine he made, and eventually DH took the decision, to save my sanity.

Loads of people on here will vilify me for that tho'.

Same as clumsymum here. Moved ds into his own room (just next to ours) and put the monitor on. We did this at 6 weeks > he's such a noisy sleeper.

We did the same at around 7-8 weeks. I did feel a bit awful but dd's room is right opposite our room and the doors were wide open. And even though she was still waking in the night for feeds, I slept better because rather than lie there and listen to her grunting and sniffing etc until she really woke up i only woke when she actually needed me to feed her.

ditto, clumsymum! Our ds was sleeping but we weren't due to the noise!

Thanks girls.
My DH is bringing me some earplugs home from work to see if that helps. I have absolutely no problem feeding him in the night, it's just the other stuff that you have to put up with, i.e. the non-settling afterwards.

The finger sucking noise is absolute torture, oh if only he'd keep his dummy in.

Assuming he's a healthy child, do you have a problem with him being in his own room?

Clumsymum, no I don't really have an issue with that, it's just that I doubt I'd be able to sleep myself because I'd be thinking about him. Plus, his room is pretty draughty at the moment and we haven't sorted out the insulation - I hadn't banked on him being in there until the summer. Food for thought though.

I think if you are getting so tired, you'll sleep,

Get the insulation sorted, and try moving him, I'm sure it'll help.

Like others I must admit to moving my two DS's quite early as I am a very light sleeper and would lay awake listening to them waiting for them to wake for their feed. Assuming sleeping on back in a smoke free home and able to hear quite clearly when ready for night time feed then I would move into his own room when it is ready.

Ds was like this. He was so noisy I put him in the hall at 2 weeks as i was getting no sleep. i could still hear him though so at three weeks he went into the lounge. I could hear him if he cried but the other noises were muffled enough to ignore. I did worry to start with but he was fine. I couldn't put him in his own room straight away as dd had not long moved out of the nursery and I didn't want her to get upset.

I moved DD to her own room at 8 weeks for the exact same reason - grunts, farts and moans kept me awake and I was becoming increasingly desparate for sleep.

In fact, it was my excellent health visitor who encouraged me to do it for the sake of my sanity. Since we live in a flat and DD's room is next door to ours, and we bought a monitor with a breathing sensor mat to go under the mattress, I followed the advice and slept much better.

DD2 (due in 6 weeks) will get the same treatment if she is as noisy a sleeper!