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4 month sleep regression hell, when will it pass??

2 replies

dash26 · 30/10/2023 04:37

DD slept through until the day she turned 4 months, she is coming up to 5 months now and it's getting much worse. I thought it was bad when she woke 4 times a night but it's now every hour which can mean up to 10 times a night.

Tonight has been awful she will not sleep at all, falls asleep then wakes up as soon put down we are exhausted. We have agreed we are going to go back to doing shifts like the newborn days so we can each get some sleep. Back to passing ships in the night.

When she wakes though she is so distressed and just screams until fed. She is breastfed with occasional bottle of formula.

She woke take a dummy, and won't self settle. She is a terrible napper too, I try to follow wake windows suitable for her age but she ends up only napping for 10-20 minutes at a time and usually is a contact nap or in car.

She had bad colic and now is just in general a really fussy baby, we get some smiles but she cries most of the time if not constantly being walked about or engaged with. Me and DH are both starting to get very upset and it's just very hard and draining on both of us and not at all what we imagined parenthood would be. I know we should be so grateful our baby is healthy and we are so blessed to have her but when I talk to my NCT friends they all have happy babies that sleep through and nap perfectly.

I'm not really sure what I am looking for, I don't think there are any answers that are magically going to resolve this for us but maybe just some reassurance that this will pass and similar stories with successful outcomes.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Anonnewbie · 30/10/2023 22:53

I reached the same point at 12 weeks. Ours had slept so badly from birth but we did get 2-4 hours at the start of the night more often than not for a month or so which allowed for some tiny amount of sleep, then it went truly horrific. We are 16 weeks and have just done cry it out (with a sleep consultant to help us on details). We are on day 4 so it's early days but it's has changed my life honestly. Baby is smiling, we use his awake time to play and cuddle and be in love instead of dumping him down whenever possible so I can brush my teeth/go to the loo.

I know it's frowned on by many and I was so nervous but it's been amazing for night sleep (naps have gone to pot which we were told would happen but it's really painful because he is crying quite a lot for one of his naps most days, but the consultant has helped us to move to a more gentle method for naps (still crying but maxing out at 20 minutes after waking up, so probably no more than 10 minutes of actual crying).

I am not saying you should do it if you're not comfortable with it, but bear in mind that some people may have done it and that's why their babies sleep so well. Nobody told me to try it or said they'd done it, but since I've said to people that's what I've done, quite a number have said they have too. You get so much hate for it that most people don't admit to it I think.

Of course many other people bring them into bed with them and feed to sleep etc, and then work to wean them off that later on. For us that didn't work - he wouldn't be put down even on my bed with my arms around him, and he wouldn't feed to sleep most of the time.

Anonnewbie · 30/10/2023 22:56

Also if you want a hint of superiority, mine screams in the car. I feel kind of housebound as there's nothing in walking distance of our house. Even on a good day his screaming could reduce me to floods of tears just trying to get to the GP or whatever.

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