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PLEASE HELP- so V tired!

9 replies

Orchide · 10/03/2008 00:55

posted a thread last week as was concerned about the change in my (9m) DD sleeping habits.
int the past 6 weeks or so has started being increasingly shouty through the nigt and wanting a 3 am feed. This has come at the same time as her start at nursery, a succession of bugs and illnesses, latest being cough and ear infection.
So the last few nights she hasn't woken for a feed- great. But isnow almost impossible to lay her down unless she is fast asleep. She used to go down easily, semi drowsy with a dummy and if she did wake was easily settled.
but now!!!!
Seems to find it increasingly hard to settle herself. Tonight at bed time took the best part of an hour and tonight she has been awake for the last hour. She will go to sleep in arms but as soon as we put her down she screams sounding much louder than is usual for her. Popping the dummy back in doesn't worknor does patting herbum or THM so we pick her up, she drops off, put her down and she screams....
so have we made a eod for our own backs with all that extra cuddling and helping her get to sleep when she was I'll? More importantly... What to do about it?
at the mo we r awake for ours just trying to get her to sleep in hercot- she used to love it so what's changed?
ominously she is now asleep on DH side if the bed, he is in the spare room... Slippery slope?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Orchide · 10/03/2008 09:34

ok so maybe my thread title was rubbish but could really do with some advice on how to settle her.
its only v recently that she's turned into this screamy baby who will only go to sllep in your arms

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fryalot · 10/03/2008 09:38

this age is spot on for a bit of separation anxiety.

Don't have any advice for you really, as we co-slept with ours so never really went through this.

I presume from your post you don't want to co-sleep?

But I can reassure you that it is normal, and hopefully someone else will come along and give you fab advice on how to deal with it.

(and your thread title was fine, it was probably the original time of nearly one in the morning that meant people didn't respond )

Orchide · 10/03/2008 09:53

I was feeling a bit desperate as you can see from the sloppy typing!
Thanks for ur reply and a suggestion for the problem makes me feel a lot better!
No don't want to cosleep, its nice to have some time for us plus I never feel the bed is big enough for the 3 of us. Have alsorts of fears related to cosleeping... When she was a few months old I used to regularly wake up convinced she was lost under the quilt and would wake up DHnto get him to help- obviously she wasnt lost and was fine in her own cot! Issues... Me?!?!

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lillypie · 10/03/2008 09:54

If you don't want to co-sleep then you need to break this pattern now.

The pick up put down method can be very effective but it can take time to work.

here

Orchide · 10/03/2008 10:03

that's what I don't understand... Why has this pattern suddenly changed?

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BandofMothers · 10/03/2008 10:15

DD2 who is now 18 mths old has always gone thru this type of stage on and off since about 6 mths. I have always thought (hoped) that it was down to teething as it always started a few weeks before teth popped thru, then stopped when they had cut, then would have a week or two of settling fine and sleping okay. Then it would all start again.

I tried letting her scream, picking up and cuddling, and all sorts. They are all different and I found that what worked for her was normal bedtime routine, story with DD1, kisses, cuddles, then into bed. Whereupon she would scream as if I had dumped her into a lava pit. Then I would leave the room. I would wait for about 10 secs, felt longer was unfair on DD1 lying trying to get to sleep. Then when I went back in I would not look at her in the eye, or talk at all. I picked her up, lay her down, covered her up and left the room again in very business like manner. Sometimes shushing helped. This could go on for up to 30 or 40 mins sometimes at the worst, but after a couple of weeks, and it was quite heartbreaking, she realised that once she was in bed she would get no attention like that, bedtime was bedtime.

It may sound cruel, but I have always been strict with bedtime. She still tries it on everynow and again, but knows she will get no where and gives up after a couple of trips in, plus she's older. As Squonk said, she is young and could well be having trouble seperating, but as you said, you are making a rod.

It is up to you. I tried many ways before I found this, sort of, worked, and it really was the only thing that did work.

BandofMothers · 10/03/2008 10:16

Wow mammoth post, sorry.
We could not co slees DH is very heavy sleeper and could easily squash a bairn without even realising.

krc · 10/03/2008 11:26

Agree with squonk that age is classic for separation anxiety (normal) and it also fits with her starting nursery. Babies learn to deal with separation by having "good" separations though, so don't worry. My ds is younger so dont' have any first hand advice, though I think baby whisperer would say pu/pd is fine at that age and would give her reassurance without giving in..Others seem to swear by bw.

Orchide · 11/03/2008 18:59

God its so hard.
we tried picking up/puttign down last night.She was shouty/ screaming for abotu 3 hours last, its so exhasuting.
Shes practially asleep whilst doing most of the yelling, eyes closed tight.

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