Sleepstation for insomnia - horrendous punishment for being alive?

[Banjo55]

Hello, I have been struggling with sleep since having children (now aged 9 & 11!) But this is generally worse with stress and has got worse recently. I generally wake very early and cant get back to sleep and alsp sometimes wake in the night. I'm not sure if this could be beginning of perimenopause, or some other random reason. My sleep hygiene is pretty good, I have done online research into what I can do and have reduced caffeine, use earplugs, keep temp controlled etc.

I was referred to Sleepstation on the NHS and am finding it to be absolutely terrible.
They have advised me to stay up much later than my usual bedtime and to restrict my time in bed to build up 'sleep pressure'. I slept less than 3 hours last night and have a busy, high pressure job where attention to detail is very important.

I just don't think I can carry on with Sleepstation. It is affecting my ability to work and mental heath. I have raised concerns and questions with them, but responses are very generic, seem scripted and tend to ignore any specific questions.

Does anyone else have any similar experience with Sleepstation? and is there any point in continuing? If the idea is that things get worse before they get better I just don't think I currently have enough in the tank to do it.

If it's perimenopause have you tried hrt? I started waking in the middle of the night but hrt gave me back my sleep.

I would advise a different approach. I suffer with insomnia and instead visited a hypnotherapist. Had 5 sessions and found it really good, and have a hypno track I can listen to at bed time.

Alternatively try Paul Mckenna's "I can make you sleep" hypnosis cd. Also really good.

It's really helped with getting me off to sleep- and if I wake in the night I have sleep headphones and I play it again and off I nod!

My insomnia was terrible and I'd suffered since I was 20 (now 42). And for the first time in years I feel rested!

My husband has been doing Sleepstation for around the last 6 weeks after being hit with stress-related insomnia. He'd tried a couple of other things before which hadn't really helped. Sleepstation has worked amazingly for him - it's very regimented and does change as you go through it. It's really reset his sleep rhythm. He's coming to the end of it now and it does get a bit more flexible.

If your insomnia is peri-menopause related then definitely look at HRT as it made a huge difference to my sleep. If it's stress-related then stick with Sleepstation a bit longer.

What. The. Fuck.

I’m sorry, OP, I don’t have experience with Sleepstation particularly and I know that’s your question, but what you’re talking about is absolutely ridiculous (on their part, not yours) and it’s not best practice. I suppose it MIGHT be best practice for someone who has light, temporary and most importantly NEW insomnia, who is not already struggling with sleep deprivation and long-term insomnia that is not cured by things like good sleep hygiene. What you’re talking about, things like trying to “force sleep,” will not work on the kind of entrenched insomnia it sounds like you’re suffering. It’s a recipe for an absolute breakdown, or a very bad accident. I respect the NHS, but please don’t do that to yourself - trust your gut instinct on this one.

At one point, I suffered from insomnia so badly that I was on the verge of being hysterical (the true meaning, not the misogynistic one). My neurologist had to put me on sleeping tablets for a short course and she said this was basically a process of breaking the cycle that my body had gotten into. Once I wasn’t quite so sleep deprived that I was unable to function, then my body was able to get back into a sleep routine (I still struggle, but nothing that bad again). I’m aware most of the sleep medications are addictive, but have you tried melatonin? For me, at least, I’ve taken it in the past because it’s something you can take if you awaken in the night and still not feel groggy in the morning (as long as it’s before about 4am, and obviously, others may have different experiences).

I notice others recommending things like hypnosis CDs, etc., and those may help you. But I just don’t think with the kind of long-running insomnia you’re talking about, that torturing yourself like Sleepstation suggests will help. If you could have “forced” sleep, you would have already and no one would have insomnia.

Very, very, very best of luck, OP. Life without sleep long-term is hellish.

insomnia can be a symptom of adhd but I guess it is something you would need to have had all your life.
Allso try the tik tok idea of frozen peas on chest. It. Affects the vagus nerve and calms you.

I was also referred to it and found it horrendous. I know it really works for some people, but it made me 3 times as anxious about my sleep and almost broke me. I gave up after a few weeks.

I took up running instead, and also started doing yoga before bedtime. My GP was very supportive and gave me some sleeping pills and advice on weaning myself off them. Fingers crossed, it worked for me.

@5YearsLeft , OP hasn't described long term sleep deprivation or entrenched insomnia. She's had disrupted sleep since having children (as many of us do) and waking early which can be a peri-menopausal symptom.
Sleepstation isn't cruel, it goes through a number of phases, changing times and prompting things like getting out into daylight, making sure there's some physical activity in your day, etc. It's a bit like Gina Ford for adults, but if the issue is hormonal then other interventions might be needed.

Interesting that it's working for my male DH, and looking like not as effective for the female posters - maybe there's something in that...

My poor sleep has improved with magnesium tablets. I also use Headspace - I put it on again every time I wake up.

@MissSueFlay While OP states it’s gotten worse recently, she said she’s struggled with insomnia since having children and the children and now 9 and 11. I mean, to me that says it’s a long-term insomnia, versus your husband’s situation, which sounded as if it is much newer and of shorter duration. But perhaps you’re right.

I'm with you, OP. My problem is waking and not getting back to sleep, and the idea that I would deliberately not go to bed until 11pm is absolutely insane.

Sleepstation is built on the stupid (but almost ubiquitous) misconception that people have insomnia because they're not tired enough. I don't have the words for how angry that makes me.

It's not you, OP. Get some decent sleeping tablets.

How old are you? My worst perimenopause symptom was insomnia, which HRT sorted out.
In the short term, melatonin works as does Kirkland's Sleep Aid.

@MissSueFlay I take slight exception to your claim that sleepstation is not cruel. I can assure you that when you are desperate for sleep, on your knees with exhaustion, and you are being made to sit downstairs alone for hours after the rest of your family has gone to bed, it feels very cruel indeed. It is a remote system with no human connection. Yes, you can message someone but it may take several days for them to respond and generally their answers feel cut and pasted anyway. It is intensely lonely IME, and unsupportive. If I had continued with it, I’m not sure how much longer I could have gone on without having a complete breakdown.

Its main virtue for the NHS appears to be its relative cheapness.

I did a sleep restriction thing. If you aren't sleepy get up and do something until you feel sleepy, don't lie in bed awake. I had severe pain in my hips after night after night starting the day at 2.30 am, sitting up on kitchen chairs doing jigsaws as I never felt sleepy. Torture.

I’ve suffered from insomnia since my DC were small, and they’re now in their mid 20s… so I hear you.

Do investigate whether peri menopause is rearing its head. HRT may help you.

However, as you’ve had it so long, it’s unlikely to be entirely hormone related.

Over the years, I’ve tried to be more analytical as to what improves my sleep, and what doesn’t. It’s often a layered approach…

Stuff includes

having a bath or shower before bed

not drinking alcohol

caffeine avoid after noon

not eating anything sweet in the evening… sends my blood sugar up

eating earlier in the evening

slow release melatonin. Gives you a low dose for 6-7 hours. I use it to break the insomnia cycle which resets my system for a few days

Vagus nerve exercises- there are simpler and more effective ones than rummaging around through the freezer for frozen peas 🤣 All available through google.

I have a free app called Insight Timer. Not a very snappy name, but has a huge range of meditations available. Check out the sleep ones.
Look for Yoga Nidra.
I find Ally Boothroyd, The Still Point, Zoe Kanat and Jennifer Piercy good ones.

I have looked at this before and have come to the same conclusion. I often get in a state where I am so sleep deprived I am wired and can't sleep, and the thought of forcing my self to stay up sounds absolutely horrendous.

I have tried everything over the years and find things work for a bit and then stop so no real advice here I'm afraid.

I used to have terrible insomnia about 10 years ago turned out to be early perimenopause. HRT helped a lot.
Magnesium works for some people too.
Am always recommending the Huberman lab podcast. Summary of all the research done on insomnia. Basically:
Non-sleep deep relaxation/ yoga nidra
Adjust caffeine
Get sunlight within 30 mins of waking/ dark in the evening.
I was shattered and living on a few hours sleep a night. Hope it improves

Just to add, one of the things that has sometimes helped is inulin, which is a pre-biotic. I think I read about it on here, it is recommended in Michael Moseley's book on sleep Golden Greens Organic Prebiotic Inulin Fibre, 250g : Amazon.co.uk: Health & Personal Care

I do also find the podcast Nothing Much Happens quite helpful too, though I get a bit sick of it after a while, I find that if I have it on it is quite effective in getting me to doze in the early hours and I think I get a bit more sleep than I realise when I do that.

Thanks so much for all of your replies. I was feeling very alone and felt like this was going to break me. I really value your support.

I'm 42 and have just been through a nightmare of trying to have a coil (total bloody disaster) and am now back on the pill. GP says hrt is probably next thing to try but still waiting for my hormones to even out before trying something different.

My gut says Sleepstation is just not suitable for me but I was struggling with the amount of pressure to stick with it. It might work for some people, but can't see anything other than pointless torture from it for me.

It took ages for me to feel able to break from it tbh - it’s hard to make good decisions when you’re so tired. Also, I think I may be neurodiverse in some respects (there is a family background there) and I find it very hard to ‘break the rules’. But the day I decided to ditch it and delete every bookmark and password and follow my instincts instead, I felt so free and positive that I actually slept better than I had in a while that night.

Good luck whatever you decide, op.

My peri symptoms started at 42. First one was 3am wake ups, then it was waking with palpitation, then the night sweats followed by 44. Took me 2 years of poor sleep to realise it's peri. HRT sorted it out. I still don't sleep as well as I did in my 30s but much much better than pre-HRT

generally worse with stress and has got worse recently.

Has your GP addressed your stress and coping mechanisms?

I had insomnia for years and it was most definitely related to my anxiety and ability to deal with stress. Addressing this didn’t make the insomnia magically disappear but really helped.

I've decided to stop Sleepstation. It might work for some people, but it has increased my stress and my anxiety around sleep and made my sleep problems worse.

I noticed they only included people who follow the course as directed in their stats on success so guess I won't be counted in that! I did ask about their drop-out rates but it was one of the questions they ignored.

I've had such a tough time recently I have told my GP I just want to be left alone for a bit, to see what happens with hormones, periods and the rest now I am back on the pill. If I'm still all over the place by Xmas I'll try to get some HRT to see if that helps.

Trying to get help through the NHS has been a bit of a dystopian nightmare! Thanks for the support. It has really helped not to feel so alone.

What do you do for exercise? Might it help to change that? I've had an injury and had to stop running, and my sleep is suffering... which is why I'm up now!

I've had some success with allowing my body to cool down - I listen to gentle podcasts or books for a while ?20mins when lying without bedcovers. Once I'm chilly I move to a cool part of the bed and pull up covers, and also count backwards from a high number and sometimes move eg a finger as I make each count. It's to disengage my brain from any regret/worries of day to day life.