I can't f*cking keep up!

[FebMama]

Excuse the arsey title but I'm just so fed up!

9mo DS2. Sleep was terrible, then we practiced self-settling for weeks and finally we got about 2 weeks of him sleeping through 12 hours. It was amazing.

Then suddenly night wakes started again. So made a few tweaks to his routine and cut out his third nap of the day. Back to 12 hours solid sleep for about 5 nights. Again, amazing. Really thought we cracked it.

Now out of the blue we are back to regular wake ups and it's killing me! It's so inconsistent I just hate the feeling of not knowing what kind of night I'm going to have. I can't relax in an evening because I'm on edge thinking "no shouldn't put a film on because he'll be up soon so there's no point"

I know, know it's probably teething or a growth spurt or a regression of some kind. But I'm blooming knackered and fed up of trying to suss out what the problem is.

Anyone else in the same boat? I don't remember 9 months old being such a rough patch of sleep with DS1!

It comes and goes and you just have to be consistent, plus realise that this phase really does go quickly and whatever your approach , they’re likely to be pretty consistent sleepers soon anyway

Take it in turns to wear ear plugs for the night, that’s what we used to do. Then at least you can relax and be off duty to wake ups every other night

@ShirleyPhallus I know you're right. I probably find it harder as I do all of the night wakes. Yes I know in an ideal world it should be shared, but DH travels long distance for work and does a lot of driving whereas I mainly WFH so I accept the night wakes are on me.

We have had 3 wake ups already since 7pm. Its going to be a long night 😭

I’d really be discussing how to move forward fairly for you both - it’s not fair for you to be doing all night wakings. You could even split the night so you get a decent 4 hour chunk but your husband should do more.

otherwise, calpol so you know he’s not in pain and sleep training (controlled crying) would do it!

@ShirleyPhallus honestly I would... but in reality when DH has tried to intervene and settle DS2, he just gets so much more worked up and angry (baby, not husband) and it makes it harder/takes longer to settle him. He does offer particularly if we are having a very bad night. Maybe I do need to take him up on it.

@ShirleyPhallus I've done every single night wake for all of my children - my DH doesn't cope with broken sleep and I'm fine plus I breastfeed - sometimes this is what works in some families!

@FebMama I really feel for you. 9-10 months I've always found terrible sleep wise! Can you cosleep? That's what has helped me during difficult times.

Also do go to bed early and bank a few hours if you can. As Shirley said - this bit won't last long. But focus on looking after you as a priority.

@cakeorbreak for the last two nights DS2 has come into the bed with us, but we're no better off! He still gets up and is unsettled. We still wake up shattered!

I should be going to bed earlier then I do. But evenings tend to be my "me" time. I workout, shower then either watch a bit of tv or do a bit of studying. Thing is, we had hourly wake ups last night from 7pm so even an early night wouldn't have cut it!

Do you recall when things got better for you with your little ones sleep?

It's even more frustrating because we have had weeks of 12 hour nights with zero wake ups so I know he can do it! 😩

I’m absolutely sure your husband would cope without so much sleep some nights. He might be tired, but wouldn’t die!

@FebMama after I night weaned at 15 months his sleep dramatically improved. But he's 2.5 now and still needs comforting back to sleep once or twice a night I'm afraid to say!

My 4 month old has slept through for 8 weeks - different children!!

@cakeorbreak crazy isn't it - baby sleep is such a headf*ck!

My LO has been in bed since 7pm and already we've had two wake ups. I've sent up a makeshift bed on his floor tonight (I did this when he first moved into his room). Can't say I'm looking forward to sleeping on the floor! Might need to invest in an airbed if this continues 🤔

I have no words of wisdom but sending sympathy! My 8 MO’s sleep is currently awful, after having a couple of months of self-settling and only one wake up!

Can I be cheeky and ask how you practiced self-settling? My baby used to do it but now cries whenever she’s left in her cot awake, even if I’m right next to her.

@ShutterHaze it's tough isn't it. Well I started off by going in and picking up DS2 whenever he was crying. Then gradually went from picking up just to patting his bum and shhh-ing him. This took a bit of time for him to get used to and a bit of crying because he wanted to be picked up! Then eventually, I just reduced the speed of the shhh-ing and patting. And also didn't do it until he fully fell asleep, just until drowsy so he could do the rest of the falling asleep by himself if that makes sense.

It's so infuriating that we have had great stints of 12 hours of sleep and now I feel like we are back to square one. My LO can put himself to sleep at the start of naps and bedtime no problem, but has suddenly forgotten how to do it during the night!

@FebMama
For this exact reason, we put our 2.5 year old straight in to a double bed.

Now, I share with the baby and DH shared with 2.5 year old and everyone is comfy.

Sometimes I have a mild panic about our choices but we really love cosleeping and it works for us so I am trying to remember that our boys will be super secure and happy and that it won't be forever!

No judgement at all on those that do, but I'm a softie and could never do any form of controlled crying. Cosleeping doesn't guarantee a good night but certainly makes it easier than having to sleep on the floor or get up multiple times.

Hope you're not too tired 😴

@cakeorbreak you gotta do what you gotta do to get some sleep! It's so important.

I'm absolutely shattered if I'm honest but after some reading and looking at the number of threads about it, I'm one million percent certain we are in the midst of the 9 month regression. So I have to just keep telling myself it's a phase and it won't last forever 🫣

And back to the title of my thread... DS2 has been waking hourly after bedtime for the last few nights but tonight hasn't woken up yet since being down at 7.30pm. Talk about keeping me on my toes!!!
I shall say it again, I can't f*cking keep up 😂😂 (hoping I haven't just jinxed it)

The first year was so so hard! And the second year is so far also hard. I've seen experts saying we should consider infancy to last 3 years and I can see why! Sleep will be ups and downs and inconsistent for at least until they have all their teeth and are over the worst of the nursery bugs, which I'm told takes about 2 years from starting nursery or school 😬No advice sorry, just solidarity. Mine is 17 months now and recovering from HFM whilst cutting molars and we are running on adrenaline and caffeine.

I really feel for you 😞 DS (almost 22m) has never been a good sleeper but we’d have phases of him only waking once and only for about 30mins (which I was happy with compared to what we’d been used to!), then it would suddenly go to pot again. We finally thought we’d cracked it at around 20m - started putting him down awake and staying with him until he fell asleep (which he obviously HATED at first but soon got used to) and he started sleeping through, hooray! That lasted just over a month and now he’s waking every single night again and it’s taking 1-2 hours to get him back to sleep 🙈Genuinely always feels like it’s 1 step forward and then about 10 back. Sorry for the lack of advice but just wanted to send solidarity and positive thoughts as I am assured it does get better! 🙏😊xx

@GinnyBee @Aims17 looks like we are all in the same/similar boat!

My LO woke hourly last night between 7pm - 10pm. Then went to every 90 mins. Then at 2am he was wide awake and wouldn't go back down until 3.30am by which point I just brought him in with me and we slept together. On my third coffee of the day already 😢