Breastfeeding to sleep sometimes taking 2 hours! Help!

[sunflowers365]

My daughter is 13 months and I’m so fed up with breastfeeding her to sleep because it’s taking anywhere between 1 to 2 plus hours. Last night I started at 7.45pm and didn’t finish until 10pm. I’m exhausted from being stuck in one position on the bed feeding- not being able to wee, eat, get up and move or make a cup of tea.

I don’t know whether to go cold turkey with feeding to sleep or whether to try some techniques to cut it down, such as breastfeeding for decreasing amounts of time and then my husband rocking her. I think there will be screaming either way.

At the moment this is our bedtime routine. We get home from work, cook, eat, bath at 7.15, quick story, in bed by 7.30 - 7.45. Then my breastfeeding marathon begins. In an ideal world I would flip it, so the feed is before the bath. I am dreading the possibility of hours and hours of screaming & how that might make me feel if I end the breastfeeding to sleep.

Can anyone please advise me / share their experiences? How do you settle your one year old baby without breastfeeding? Have you transitioned between breastfeeding to sleep and not? How did you do it? For context , my daughter naps at nursery by being put in her cot and then sleeps after a little cry.

Can you unlatch after a certain amount of time? My son would've stayed latched on for hours if I let him, but when he was sleeping (but still
Suckling) I'd unlatch and he would just sleep

Thank you. I do try this, but then sometimes it works and sometimes she screams and becomes wide awake. Have you had this problem?

Could you try giving breast milk from a bottle? My DD nearly always falls asleep with the bottle in and I just switch it then with her dummy x

I half remember reading somewhere that it takes 7-8 minutes for a full breast of milk to be emptied (could have totally imagined this but think this is right). After that your dc is comfort suckling. I would latch off after a set amount of time and have a cuddle instead, or hand to your husband to cuddle. I do get the temptation of him rocking to sleep but given the age of your dc this is going to get difficult to do pretty soon so I would try and transition to a seated rocking, and then eventually a cuddle. My DC cried a bit as they preferred to suckle to sleep but like yours would be at it for hours so we had to find a different way.

Thank you for the idea Gabby 10. My daughter has never taken a bottle, even though I have tried quite a few times.

Thank you the honscupboard. I have sooo much to think about.

I was absolutely in the same boat as yourself so hand to make a change! I did know that she could be rocked ti sleep on occasion where I wasn’t able to feed her but I did feed DD to sleep 99% of the time.

we started with my husband re settling her after her regaularly false start (different issue I know haha) as sleep pressures where higher at a time like this so more chance of success, I.e full belly and already sleepy. This would be rocking / walking about the room with her. There was some tears to begin with but it then ended up being quicker than me going in to feed her. I don’t know if there’s an opportunity to do this or if she’s a good sleeper in general? For me I set myself a time frame when I won’t feed her, as in, it’s not been more than 3 hours so I know she doesn’t need it. Where they’re already a bit sleepy so you have more chance of winning it. I can tell by her cry if I’m winning the battle. Long and continuous I know it’s been lost and I won’t let her get worked up too much, but when there’s gaps / breaks in-between the cries it shows tiredness and starting to give in to the sleep.

When we knew that this could be done we fed before the bath then rocked to sleep. Again tears the first few nights but now so much quicker than feeding and not my soul responsibility anymore 🥳

I know the rocking might be a bit harder with a 13 month old but can be done seated / with the help of a carrier and for us it’s ended up being a much quicker method. Good luck!

How many naps is she having in the day and for how long, and what times?

Maybe she needs a later bedtime so that she is tireder and easier to feed to sleep.

It's not easy having a child who won't settle without having to be fed to sleep, so really feel for you!

I've just remembered how I stopped feeding to sleep. DS was about the same age, just over 1. I wore a tight spots bra and high necked top, and just decided one day enough was enough no more feeding to sleep! I just stopped. He cried but I stayed with him and eventually he nodded off. He cried a bit next few nights too, but then seemed to be fine! I did the same at 15 months when I decided to stop feeding during the night and again same at 18m when I stopped feeding him altogether. I just made the decision and stopped.

It's not easy but I'm always there for comfort I think - would never have left him to cry. Even now at nearly 3 we stay with him until he is qwl asleep. Feels very natural to us!

Good luck x

When you slide your nipple out slide a dummy in. Works perfectly

Thank you so much everyone for your ideas and support. I appreciate them so much.

Hello there @sunflowers365 how did you get on? My baby is only 5 months so not at this point yet but my little girl feeds/stays latched for an hour or two each night before I can get her down x

Just take them off. I breastfed twins for 1 year. I couldn’t tandem feed so I usually had one hungry one lying on the floor wanting feeding; as soon as the first had even vaguely finished I took them off and fed the second. The second also didn’t get forever to feed as I usually to sort the first one who wanted to play or needed changing. They didn’t get to use me as a dummy to get to sleep (which I see could be nice) but they did get exclusively breast fed for 6 months and were thriving and contented. They were also pretty chilled and settled well by themselves. They get the majority of the feed in the first few minutes, after that it’s just comfort so you need to decide when you want to take them off or let them suck because it’s nice.

You could try habit stacking. So whilst you feed them, put a toy or soft cloth against their face or in their hand or whatever you think might work. They'll then associate that with going to sleep. Then you unlatch them but they get to keep the thing. Then eventually they just get the thing and a cuddle from you.