Newborn needs to be held to sleep

[Tiredmummy101]

Title says it all really, my DD will only sleep at night if she is being held. I know this is completely normal as she is only 3 weeks but I am struggling to come up with solutions of how to cope with this. Splitting the night with my husband doesn’t work as he has sleep apnea so he keeps falling asleep whilst holding her so I can’t trust him to be left alone with her at night. I also have a 2 year olds son that is up frequently through the night so my husband usually has to take him in to spare room and into bed with him.

I have tried co sleeping and everything else you can imagine but she still won’t be put down. My son had horrendous reflux so I’m hoping it’s not that again it was awful.

I have had about 3 hours sleep in the past 3 days I am really struggling to function. Any solutions folks?

We had the same, and did split nights. DP would stay up until 1/2 and would have DS in the sling while he played computer games, so he easily stayed awake. Then I would take over.

DP also has sleep apnoea, but he has a CPAP which has made a world of difference. Does your DH have one?

Swaddle? Worked for my lo until he got strong enough to free an arm but did help!

Following as currently in the same boat!

2 out of 3 of my babies were the same, totally against safe sleep advice but I used to prop myself up and use lots of hard pillows to hold my arms up. I found then when I fell asleep and my arms relaxed nothing moved. I felt very confident in my awareness of my babies being on me though. I had a few instances of falling asleep holding them and waking up because I could feel my arms dropping. This worried me more and I knew the more sleep deprived I got the more dangerous it would get. I have always swaddled and used white noise from birth and after a few weeks they were all sleeping in their next to me cots to varying degrees!

Yes, this worked for us too when my second was first born. A dummy also helps if they don’t have one. Apart from this, I would just persevere with putting her down and try to settle without picking up unless she’s obviously very distressed. Sorry, no magic solution and obviously not if there is any kind of medical issue going on. Virtual hug though, sleep deprivation is brutal.

Swaddling. Also when they’re very very small you could try in a sleepyhead type pod. They’re coccooned in it and it like they’re being held.

It might be worth looking into silent reflux, because I had two babies with it, surprised because i was assuming that Lighting wouldn't strike twice.

If your DS had reflux maybe they both have/had cmpa?

I only got through my cmpa babies who wouldn't be out down by using a sling all day round the house and Co sleeping with a onesie on.

Get a proper tongue tie check too. Not the nhs. They often say there isn't one, and there is. My son was the same, we got his tongue tie cut on day 6 and he's been happy on his back since that night. Was a remarkable change!!