Man, this resonates.
Mine is 2 and we had this hard at around 1. It did get better and he started to do 4 - 5 hour stints at the start of the night, but there are also sleep regressions, so it's worse sometimes too. And he still comes into my bed after that first stint. He's stubborn and cries and cries; nothing settles him, and I can't do that. He's so heartbroken.
I've been back at work for a long time now; 18 months or so, and the idea of it is a lot worse than the reality. But to be honest, my friends were a pretty even split between those who sleep-trained and those who didn't, and we've had all the same problems. Even the babies who were sleep trained "grow out of it", and got really upset. Half of them end up with their parents every night. It's really, really normal at this age. In half of the world, it's absolutely expected.
For the touched out feeling; try magnesium. It's really normal to be low in that after breastfeeding for a year and it can cause strong breastfeeding aversion.
Otherwise, I don't think there's a way to do this without a lot of tears and protest and I'd prepare yourself for that. My husband tried going to him every week for a week, and it was horrible. He'd still be crying and absolutely heartbroken 90 minutes later. He's always been quite stubborn and independent (balanced out by him being really cheeky and playful; thankfully, this sounds very mean written down!) It just didn't work for him. I paid three different sleep consultants who all said that to be honest, at this age, that type of training is unlikely to work with his personality type. He doesn't just give up. One did say I could just put earplugs in and ignore him until he fell asleep but I would never be able to do that.
You'll likely find he'll settle for others really soon - probably coinciding with when you go back to work. He'll learn at nursery; and for your partner. If you're not home, they'll figure it out. Go out over bedtime and sit in a pub/the car etc a few times if you need to. It works!
But also know that you're not alone here. Everyone is just making do. My son's best friend (same age, 2) was exactly the same and suddenly started sleeping through the night in her cot four weeks ago. No changes at all from her mum, they still breastfeed in the day, room is exactly the same... something just clicked. I'm hoping that happens for us soon!