Baby only wants contact naps! What to do?

[abbiegail]

Hi, my 3 month old has only ever had contact naps during the day as that’s the only way she ever could sleep. I don’t mind doing this but she sleeps for hours on my chest and I’m not able to do anything with her on me. I do have a carrier but she isn’t really settled in it. On rare occasions she will let me put her down once she’s asleep for napping but will wake up after Anywhere between 10-45 minutes and she’s still exhausted and wants to go back to sleep because she likes to contact nap for hours.

she sleeps perfectly in her cot during the night, it’s just daytime naps that are a bit tricky and it’s more so due to the fact I can’t do anything at all or I’d always hold her. I try to do as many contact naps as I can but it’s just really unrealistic as I have things to do. She sleeps at least 8 hours at night now which is amazing and she also likes to have really long naps during the day so I just want to her to be able to have these naps settled but also put down so I can get things done around the house.

Ive been trying to put her down whether that’s on the bed where I can keep an eye on her or in her cot which I’d prefer but she doesn’t really like being in during the day. But she is really unsettled unless on me and i end up having her on me anyway as I just want her to get some rest.

is there any advice or methods that I can do to try to get her to go down a bit more during the day, even if it’s that I still do a contact nap during the day once but the rest of her naps she can somehow go down! just unsure of how to do this, any advice would be helpful.

I don't have any real advice for you, because I never managed it with DC1, and I'm not even trying with DC2 - I write this as she is asleep on me

Does she fall asleep in the pram? I would sometimes walk until DC1 fell asleep in the pram, and then bring the pram in the house so he could carry on his nap. He would often wake up when the pram stopped moving tbf, but this stopped by about 5 months and then I could pretty reliably use that method for a nap.

Hopefully someone will give you some advice, but I just wanted to say hang in there - I know it's hard but it's not forever! I personally take the approach of just going with the flow, but I understand wanting to change if it isn't working for you. But just don't worry too much is all I'm saying. It seems like forever whilst you're in the thick of it, but it all passes and easier days are ahead x

I just let her contact nap and watched TV, I did housework and meal prep at night when she slept in her crib. Before a nap I set up a little station with snacks/ a sandwich, a drink, the remote and made sure I had my phone with enough charge in it etc and that I had been to the toilet, then settled in for the nap. She stopped contact napping about 14-15 months after starting nursery.

I completely get it 😅 she hates the pram 😭 she likes the car seat but of course that’s not for her to sleep in, she just does not like lying down for naps at all no matter the situation which is why I think she doesn’t mind the car seat because she’s not lying down. I honestly don’t mind the contact naps if I haven’t got things to do because I’ll just have her on me it’s just when I do have things to do, at the moment we’re doing a big move so things need to be packed and sorted through and cleaned and I just don’t have the chance to do anything because she’s asleep on me for hours and then she has an awake time of about an hour and a half which i manage to do a bit if she’s cooperating with going in her bouncer (which isn’t always 😅) or if I leave her on her playmat for 20 mins. Plus when we’re out shopping I have to have her continuously in the carrier because she can’t stand her pram lol, i just want her to have her precious sleep bless her, maybe it is just one of them where I just have to go with it and figure something out maybe become an expert at doing things with my one hand or feet🤣

My DD was exactly the same. We got round it by ignoring what the books said about making daytime sleep different to night sleep and put her in the bedroom with the curtains shut which seems to be working.. at the moment 😂

At 3 months I’d just go with it and enjoy it, despite the chaos surrounding you. It will all change in a month or so anyway, the napping for hours doesn’t last long sadly 😭

My 3 Year old still contact Naps! She has never been able to self settle, instead she drops off in a cuddle / on our laps then we pop her into bed. Or lay her on the sofa during the day! So no advice from Me I'm afraid, but our situations sounds very similar. My DD hated the buggy, I wore her in a carrier for Years - she wasn't too bad in a Car seat and would occasionally fall asleep but we would never be able to transfer!

Thank you for all the messages it’s nice to know we’re all in the same boat 😂 I think I have to accept that right now I’ll have to be her personal bed until she’s ready. I don’t know if any of you have had the same experience but some of my family always say ‘you’re making your life harder just put her down’ ‘you’re putting a rod in your back for later’ which is so frustrating 🤦🏻‍♀️ when my response is how she only likes to contact nap they just tell me to keep putting her down but then she doesn’t sleep well, I think some people just don’t realise it’s not that simple

@chittyshittybangbang thats exactly my situation right now, I think my LO might be like yours, transferring her from the car seat wakes her up every single time without fail!

I had the exact same thing with DD until she was 8 months. Honestly, at that point, I was done holding her for naps and I just stuck it out in the cot for each of her naps. At first she just screamed in the cot at nap time and refused to sleep. After time she realised I wasn't going to let her contact nap any more and that the cot was actually pretty comfy and started napping there. It was great and I can't imagine contact napping any more! It took a few very cranky weeks though. But obviously I waited until she was older to do this.

I use a rocker chair (first one had vibration) and have the rocket on a toddler chair. Have white noise on and leave it a bit and transfer. I've tried everything putting him down for naps and staying in the room etc. I've finally got him to sleep at night not on me. Routine and familiar is everything keep trying and you will find a way. Next stage when my knee is better is getting him to nap in him bedroom. Mine is 15 months.

I hated contact naps. Mine was only ever napping on one of us. And she could only be in a dark room. I had to stand in a dark room with white noise on. When she'd nod off I put the iPad on low with headphones but it was torture. When she was 7 months old there was a heatwave and I couldn't bare it so I started putting her in cot and doing a bit of pick up / put down but she'd only sleep 30 mins at a time but I was DONE with contact napping ! It was only when she was a year that her naps were a bit longer in the cot. She'd my never sheep in car or pushchair either. Just keep trying cot

Could you cuddle her to sleep in your bed and then edge away when she's asleep? I used to do that. I bf lying down

I would start by taking her into the bedroom to nap (every time), then put her down once she’s sleep, then put her down when she’s nearly asleep but keep your hand on her (there will be a bit of screaming) and then gradually move bad to a finger and then just sitting with her - it’s a process, and you gave to go at the rate you can both tolerate. Also dark room, white noise.

@sunflowerandivy I feel your pain, both my children were the same: it wasn’t enough I had to hold them, I had to hold them in the pitch dark with white noise and not move a muscle. DS in particular hated me even pissing about on my phone, and liked a 2.5 hour lunch nap. He goes in the cot now and sometimes I secretly miss the cuddles.

I agree with all of this. And also if she wakes up too soon, persevering with getting her back down again, as often as it takes. You’ll still be taking as much time as a contact nap at first, but it should pay off eventually.

I know contact naps are lovely and snuggly, but I eventually didn’t have time for them with other kids and a house to keep up with.

If this is your only baby just go with it is my advice. She's tiny in the scheme of a lifetime and as she sleeps well at night get everything done when she's awake or asleep at night. Put her in a bouncy chair on playmat in whatever room you want to achieve things in and talk or sing to her constantly until one day you'll find she's happy for 10 mins at a time with toys etc. Don't connect her sleep with your time to do anything but cuddle her and one day it'll have all changed again.

We had this, although thankfully she would also sleep on her pram as long as it was moving, so I spent a lot of time walking (actually built some fitness!). Sending solidarity, as I know how frustrating it is when everyone else tells you all the things they get done during nap time and you're either pinned under a sleeping baby or route marching around the neighbourhood!

Lower your standards of home tidiness and embrace the contact naps for now 😂 Most jobs will absolutely wait and it's not forever. Enjoy the quiet time and the rest you get while she's snoozing on you. It's all phases with a baby and before you know it she'll have moved on to the next one.

I would get some wireless headphones, an audible subscription and listen to some podcasts (parenting hell if you haven't already).

I wouldn't mess with the contact naps if you're getting good sleep at night !

I was about to suggest this too. Wish I had tried this earlier with mine as this made my DD take longer naps.