If you did nothing, when did it get better?

[wfcats]

My daughter is nearly 1 and sleep has been terrible since she was 3 months. If you had a similar sleeper and didn't sleep train, when did things start improving for you?

Mine is now 19 months and wakes 2-3 times rather than hourly. I don't know if that's reassuring or not! Last night only woke once miraculously . Eagerly awaiting other answers!

When they were 3

2-3 times would be good! At the moment she's waking up an hour or two after I put her to bed which means I never get an evening. I'm happy for her to come into bed with me as long as it's after I've gone to bed myself, but I don't want to keep going to bed at 9.30 forever.

In my experience it's all just a phase. We had a few months as you describe. Then a few months when we couldn't get her to sleep until 10 so just gave up on the idea of an adult evening and rolled with going to bed at the same time. At least then the slightly longer first chunk of sleep happened when I was asleep too. And then maybe 2 months ago bedtime started getting earlier and now she's almost always asleep by 9. And some nights will then go to 2/3am which makes such a difference. Hang in there! I imagine ups and downs but there must be a gradual positive trajectory in there

I'm in the same boat as you OP except mine started at 4 months. We are 11 months in. We get the odd night where she does a longer stretch at the beginning of the night but it isn't reliable. And we often have split nights.
Would love it to improve before I'm back at work.

I started a very similar thread just asking when the hourly wakes stopped and you get longer stretches. The consensus was 12-14 months so you may be on the cusp of improvement. Mine is now almost 10 months. Still wakes after 45 mins in his cot but I can at least resettle him there in the evening. Once he's in bed with me he's started giving me a couple of 2-3 hour blocks which makes a big difference.

I remember your thread @CasaMundi. Although I'm sorry you're still in the throes of it, I'm glad it isn't just my baby. Most of the people I know have babies that sleep through by this point (or they lie).

@Purple89 honestly I've stopped mentioning it in real life as people make you feel like they think you're doing something wrong or make well intentioned comments like recommending you put baby in their own room and you can't help but think 'do you really think I haven't tried that?". Still he was so much worse before that I really feel like we're winning now.

Both of mine were utterly, utterly dire, up 10+ times per night sometimes, multiple feeds, crying etc etc. I half-heartedly tried to sleep train, but I just couldn't do it, so I was like the living dead. DS slept through reliably at just before 2 and DD was 3.5, I worked out that at one stage I hadn't had a full night's sleep in 5 years!!

At 10 & 12, if there was a certificate for the best sleeping children, mine would win it, and it's been that way for years - I've done my time!

Had 2 of these! DD was sleeping through in her own bed by 2 and DS, although still bed sharing with me at 3 and a half, is asleep by 7.30 and sleeps though until 6 ish... It really was so gradual I didn't really notice. Hang in there; you'll look back when they're preschool age and realize it's been ages since you had a broken night.

DC1 was waking 1-2-3 times a night until close to 3yo.

Im currently co-sleeping with DC2 (nearly 14mo) - he wakes up so much 😵‍💫 I’ll keep breastfeeding and co-sleeping though. I suspect it will be at least another 1-2 years until he sleeps well.

When he started school at 4.5. He’s almost 11 now and seems like a distant memory at least..

Thanks so much everyone - so nice to know we're not the only ones as it does feel like everyone in real life is adamant theirs sleeps 7-7 and has since they were a newborn. You're so right about people suggesting putting them in their own rooms like you might not have thought of that! See also taking them swimming and giving them a banana before bed.

Seems like anywhere between 12 months and 5 years is the tipping point..

11 months with DD when she started sleeping all evening. Midnight onwards continued to be a shitshow til 17 months when she randomly slept through once. Night weaned at 19 months. Gradually got better in fits and starts. She still comes into our bed sometimes at nearly five, though! Bad dreams, cold, lonely, “I wanted some company”.

Worked with a sleep consultant on the second one, I’m too old to cope. He’s still up 2-3 times a night at 10 months though, because teeth and regression; but just knowing he’s already slept through gives me the hope it’ll get better soon - he has a decent baseline to get back to. Whereas DD’s baseline was criminal.

For DC1&2 sleep improved between 18-24m and sleeping through every night around 2.5. DC3 is 18 months and still waking regularly (we cosleep most of the night). It will get better and it is 100% biologically normal for babies and toddlers to wake regularly.

DS2 was a nightmare, I was back at FT work after hourly wakeups when he was 9 months old.

He was in our bed until 18 months as that's how we got the most sleep. Then there was a mattress on his bedroom floor for a while.
Just over 2 he went into a toddler bed so would wander in to us at some point in the night.
Then there was a phase of split nights - asleep by 8, awake 2-4:30. Back to sleep until 7:30.
Single bed at 2.5 so DH or I'd go climb in with him when he woke.
He was 3 in June, he now sleeps through mostly, last night came into our bed at 2am, but he's not asleep until 9pm and usually wakes around 6:30, just doesn't seem to need as much sleep - absolutely unlike DS1 who at 8 years old sleeps a solid 8-7:30 and pretty much always has done.

Ds1 was around 18 months - 2 years. DS2 (15 months) still terrible

Daughter is the same she's 13 months and sleep is generally terrible. It's always horrendous when a tooth comes through (last night she woke so frequently I couldn't count) but is generally still quite bad. I've had 1 night she woke 3 times and that was amazing.

My son only got better when I stopped feeding to sleep so I guess that's my issue this time round too!

My DD was awful. Split nights, took hours to go to sleep etc. By about 2ish she was great and she's absolutely bomb proof now. The fire alarm went off right outside her bedroom door and she didn't stir!
I now have DS who's 13 months and he's even worse if possible. He won't even settle in our arms atm and is so distressed in the night (I think due to tiredness). We did do a gentle sleep train around 7 months which helped but he's now just as bad as before and I can't really figure out how to sleep train him now he's able to stand up in the cot.
Thank you all for sharing your experiences. Sometimes it really helps to know you aren't the only one.

Hi OP, would love to hear an update on how it's going now. Really hope things improved for you. X

Thanks for checking in! No change here unfortunately, although we've had cold after cold the last few weeks which I don't think is helping at all. She's been diagnosed with tongue tie but I'm just not sure that's the magic bullet we're being led to believe.

Echoing PP below, thank you everyone for sharing your stories - it is really reassuring, I always feel like a terrible parent when other people are complaining that their baby is waking at 5.30 am or only does 45 minute naps in the cot.

Slept through the night when DS was around 3

@wfcats both of mine have had tongue ties and slept terribly despite them being cut. I hope it's different for your daughter! Mine is now 10 months and honestly I'm losing the plot. If we could just get a break between bugs and teething I think I'd try a bit harder/tolerate a few more tears to get him self settling.

Oh no really? I'm so sorry for you but it's useful to hear as we're leaning towards not getting it cut.

The bugs are a nightmare, it's been one after another here for the last month! I'm sorry you're having such a rubbish time of it too, it's exhausting isn't it.

18 months for DC1, 2 years for DC2 and we’re still here with DC3 aged 6 walking once a night. But we don’t care, it will improve soon no doubt. For what it’s worth I’m really pleased I never left them to cry. I always thought it was cruel and horrific and I still think that