Can't / won't sleep alone during the day.

[EmMcK]

Can anyone please help me with a 4 month old who sleeps well at night, but will only sleep ON you during the day? DS settles really well after a pants off rolling/bath/feed routine and then only wakes a couple of times during the night for feeds. During the day, he fancies having a couple of good three hour naps, and is the happiest chirpiest chap in the world. But, the problem is that he will only take the naps on either me or DH. I have tried putting him in his Amby when half awake, and his eyes just spring open after five mins and then he is unhappy for the rest of the day, or until I let him nap on me and then doesn't sleep as well at night. How do I fix this? I can't bear the thought of CC at this age, but has anyone got any other ideas.

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Sorry, computer ate my message I thought, have double posted. If I put him down when he is fully asleep he will sleep for a timy bit more, but will still be awake within about 15 mins. Good idea with the sheet - will try that tomorrow.

very much the same with my dd and i'm sure this is very common, they are so used to hearing/feeling you near them, when they are even vaguely conscious they want you there! on demand!

tbh i should say "well he'll have to get used to sleeping on his own so get him used to it now, let him cry a bit", that sort of thing. which would probably save you lots of hassle down the line, and now at 10 months i sort of wish i'd listened to. but if you are anything like me when dd was 4mo the idea of trying to enforce day-time lone-napping would be too much to face, so i will say just enjoy being close to him and get used to being slept on for a few months, doze off yourself and catch up on some well-deserved sleep!

I have to admit I have enjoyed having time to actually read!! But, my concern is that he will just get used to it and won't be able to settle on his own. Am I being ridiculous given that he can sleep happily on his own (beside our bed) at night?

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I do tend to just stop whatever I am doing when he wants a sleep during the day and lie down, so making things more restful like maybe pulling the curtains when he looks like he is about to go to sleep might help. I will try tomorrow morning, fingers crossed!

Em, my ds was the same. I bought a sling when he was little and he slept "on" me in that for several months and I would recommend that - it certainly saved my sanity. then by the time he was 4m I could put him on bed and leave him. one thing people suggested was to put him with a shirt you've worn so he still smells you.

i worried about my dd getting used to it too, but as with yours, from a very early age she was fine settling down on an evening on her own. but during the day she just fought it and she still does. most times now i can get her down in her cot (after a bit of rocking), but sometimes not. for me though, when she was smaller, the grumpiness that ensued if she didn't get her sleep was a worse prospect than just going with it and letting her do what she wanted.

maybe just keep trying to put him down when he seems to be fairly well asleep, and letting him grumble a little tiny bit. sometimes, dd wakes up when i pop her down in the day, grumbles a bit, then zonks out again. picking her up each time wakes her up more. but obviously that's much easier (less guilt-inducing) when they are a bit older. black out curtains are a god-send too if you can get some.

no expert either so ignore me if it makes no sense!

I think what I smell like at the moment is baby sick! Thanks PhD, will try that.

Thanks Jekyll, you are spot on about the grumpiness being a worse prospect. I am very pleased to hear about another happy night sleeper who does this. I will persevere and also pull curtains - I had been avoiding doing that in case he got day/night confused, but he seems to be sorted on that now.

good luck with it, and take pleasure in the fact that your ds sleeps well at night. just think how much worse it could be!

My DS exacly the same, the only thing that Has worked slightly is that I have taken time to play gentle games with him in his amby when he is wide awake so he associates it with playtime with mummy = nice place to be and have stayed next to the amby while he is asleep for naps so he saw I was still there when he woke (and picked up / cuddled if he needed it), did this for about a week and now some of the time he will sleep for about 45 minutes on his own. Not a massive victory but enought time to drink a cup of tea while it is still hot and load the dishwasher!!