Laying foundations to smoothen 4 month sleep regression

[Olegia]

My LO is currently almost 12 weeks (2 and a half months).
I'll start off by saying I'm absolutely terrified of the 4 month sleep regression. I have developed insomnia which makes it hard for me to get back to sleep at night, so frequent wake-ups are just a nightmare.

To this end, I'm working very very hard with my baby to develop independent sleep habits (I obviously never let her cry as she's far too young)

I put her to bed first drowsy but awake, but now just fully awake at the end of our routine. Now, 90% of the time, she will just drift off to sleep on her own, very little noise or resistance. If she fusses a bit I let her, if it turns into anything that resembles a cry where she needs me, I'll pick her up, rock a bit and put back awake. Repeat until she sleeps on her own.

I've already worked on getting her unswaddled too, first one arm, then the other out. She can now sleep with both arms out (she was showing signs of rolling).

Next up on my list is getting rid of the pacifier as a sleep aid. It's a bit tougher, but when she's in a good mood/time of day, I will try without. She's going through a little bit of a deveopmental leap I think and has been very fussy, so I just kept the pacifier in for the moment.

Since the 4 month sleep regression arises out of an inability of the baby to link sleep cycles, I really hope working on these independent sleep habits will pay off? She seems to pretty much drift off without my help.

Will she turn into a terrible sleeper, and unlearn everything?

I figure the 4 month sleep regression hits hardest the babies who haven't learned how to fall asleep on their own, correct?

She still has a feed or 2 at night, which is fine

Probably not what you want to hear, but even babies who sleep well and independently will still be effected by a regression. Even those who sleep train will potentially need to re train a baby effected by a regression. At that age my DC slept fabulously, they would fall asleep at the drop of a hat with no support and no sleep training at all. So much so when travelling they fell asleep in once country and only woke up getting nappy changed in the baggage claim of another! I thought I had hit the holy grail of sleepy babies. There 4 month regression only effected day time sleep. This was untill the 6 months growth spurt and teething and illness and the next regression and … you get the picture 😂 The thing is all babies are different and respond to different methods and different things. So this potentially might set your baby up really well for it, it might not help at all. I think my main point is don’t stress too much about what you should do, and do what is best for you and your family! You sometimes have to roll with the punches and take the sleep as it comes. I have friends who religiously used CIO in their babies who now have toddlers that refuse to go to bed and are up all night. I have others that co-slept and have 12 hour sleepers without fail. I have another who’s DC naps all day independently in a cot then is up every 1-2 hours at night! I’m not saying sleep training doesn’t work, of course it must with so much of a support / following but ultimately good sleepers tend to just be good sleepers!

I also suffered from insomnia quite a bit as well when DC was much younger. I found staying off my phone during night feeds helped massively and eventually when things settled down around being a new parent and I had less anxiety over everything / DC wellbeing (and the sleep deprivation kicked in 🙈) I found it’s much easier to cope with 😊 only very few nights to a lie telling myself to go to sleep before DC wakes up again 😅