To settle or not to settle?? When to switch the monitor off???

[Gloria42]

Would much appreciate any advice you can offer.
DS is 14 months old, normally a great sleeper. However for the last couple of months he "wakes" in the night at least once, maybe 2 or 3 times. He doesn't cry, but lies there sucking his thumb and kind of moaning in a half-asleep way. Eventually he wakes himself up and we go in to settle him.
In the beginning we cuddled him back to sleep, but this could take up to an hour (and guessing just when he was asleep enough to not wake up as we put him down was next to impossible!) so we tried a bit of cc and that seemed to work - to an extent.
He still wakes and does this moaning thing,which wakes us up, but as soon as we go in and rub his tummy and do the shhhhh thing, he goes straight back to sleep.
So my question is, should we switch to monitor off?? Should we leave him to settle himself? Am I being worst mum ever to even consider it!?

bump!

My instinct is to continue with the shushing (but not pick him up) for a few more weeks. He might go back to sleeping easily by himself in a few weeks' time. If there's no progress, then think about cc.

Or you could try every so often just leaving him to grumble. If it doesn't escalate into crying then it's better to let him sort himself out. In which case I would say to switch off the monitor - presumably grumbling won't wake you but out and out crying will?

Could he be teething? My 16m is cutting the first 4 pre-molars all in one go and it's affecting his sleep. Not that he was ever a good sleeper! But he was begining to get the hang of it until teeth and a virus got in the way.

Personally I couldn't switch the monitor off. I'd be awake all night worrying and if she did cry she would get herself into such a state and be awake for several hours.

I do however have the monitor down as low as it can go, then dd (22 months) actually has to call out or cry for me to wake, rather than that whingy sound she make when falling asleep.

If he manages to get back to sleep with the rubbing and shhh then maybe you could try and wean him off needing that. Can you try just shhhhing? Or perhaps just rest a hand on him rather than rubbing? Then when he gets used to settling with that do the shhhing from just out of reach, and so on till its really quiet shhing, no hands, and he'll settle from you just standing in the doorway.

It does take a long time. It took about 3 weeks for me. But it did work and avoided any cc which I hated.

i switched th e monitor off as soon as they were able to scream loud enough for me to be able to hear them at the other end of the house.
the montior meant i could hear every tiny little breath and i simply couldnt get any sleeep. so no monitor meant that i actually only heard them when they needed tme.

I don't actually live in a mansion so I would hear him if he cried, but thanks for your comments.

PrettyCandles, yes, I think he is teething but then I can't think when he hasn't been for the last few months! It generally doesn't bother him much - other than the copious amounts of drool he produces

WriggleJiggle, we have monitors that you can talk through, maybe I could try shh from my bed!!!

depends on what you classify as a mansion.
all my babies could be heard accross the house, except as newborns. once they were about six or so weeks old, they had strong lusty cries. and at four months, other than parental paranoia, there is no reason whatsoever to be listening to their every breath