Had enough!

[Pizzaandsushi]

My now 19 month old has always been a terrible sleeper but since turning one, it’s gradually improved enough to not be beyond sleep deprived. He’s an early riser no matter what we do. Never sleeps more than 10-10.5 hours at night. Has one single nap for 2 hours at the appropriate time and yet every single night he fights bedtime like his life depends on it.
all his wake windows are appropriate for his age. His bedroom is the most optimal sleep conditions ever and yet every time we go up to bed 30 minutes before his bedtime (between 7-7:30) he messes about giggling, chatting, wriggling until I put him in his cot and he screams.
I always go in and lie him back down but it doesn’t work. Me and my partner are in and out like yo yos, he still screams even if we stay in the room with him. He’s getting too heavy for me to hold as he won’t even let me sit in a chair and hold him as he just starts messing about again.
I feel like I’m losing the will to live. I lose hours of my life every evening trying to get him to sleep before having to go to bed at 9pm myself because he has me up between 5-6am no matter what. Plus I have to get up at 6am for work anyway.
anyone have any advice. Does he need tough love? I know if we were to just leave he’d scream and scream himself silly but I can’t carry on like this anymore.

What does your bedtime routine look like?

@ReeseWitherfork (great username btw!)
Same thing every evening since I can remember! Take him up to his room 30-35 mins before bedtime. Read him a couple of books. Give him his drink of warm milk, brush his teeth and then I turn the lights off (15-20 minutes has probably passed at this point) and give him a cuddle whilst sat on the chair but he usually straight away starts messing about, babbling, sitting up,
trying to get out of my arms so at that point I put him in his cot and he immediately starts screaming and crying.
we tried for a week, letting him wander about his room with one of us there to see if that makes a difference but that made it worse and took even longer.

One of mine is a bit like this and I managed to get her a bit more accepting of it by going in every two minutes. Quick cuddle and back in cot, out the room for two minutes and repeat. Have you ever tried anything like that?

@ReeseWitherfork something similar but not actually taking out of cot so I will give that a go tonight! Thank you.
i tried leaving him to cry for a bit last night but his will is stronger than mine and he just screamed until I went in and held him to sleep. It was 8:15pm
up for the day at 5:50am so not even 10 hours sleep. It wouldn’t be so bad if he slept in but he never does.

Do you think he could be overtired at bedtime? DD is 3 but goes to bed between 6.30 and 7. If she goes later, she's overtired so takes ages to go to sleep and wakes even earlier. She's normally up by 6/6.30 but if she goes to bed later, she's up earlier.
She used to be awful to go to sleep but we got her a yoto to listen to as she went to sleep and instead of sitting with her for hours, she was asleep in 5 mins! Don't know if your DS is too young for this but maybe some soothing music might help?

What about bath time? In our house, bathtime is part of the bedtime routine. Also, I would personally not be trying to cuddle him to sleep or whatever, just put him in the cot after story time.
So our bedtime routine is:
6:30 on the dot - upstairs for bath
6:45-6:50 out, dry, pjs, into bedroom
Lights dimmed.
One story, with warm milk.
Into cot, DD takes milk with her (in spill proof cup).
Say goodnight, love you. Leave.

Sometimes she protests a little, but she knows that this is a consistent bedtime routine, and even on tough nights doesn't take long to drop off.

DD was the same, I used the managed retreat method which helped.

There is an audiobook you can get called "The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep" - absolute lifesaver. My youngest was very much like yours with regards to bedtime, started using this as a last resort and it was brilliant. It's read in a very soft, monotonous voice and has lots of cues about going to sleep in it. Even now DD is 10 she will sometimes ask for "Sleepy Rabbit" if she's having trouble going to sleep.

I would put it on my phone and leave my phone in her room, close to her cot then sit outside on the landing until she'd dozed off then go back in for my phone.

@Blixem there is a very good chance he is overtired yes. He goes to nursery every day so it is very stimulating and nap is a little bit later than when we do it, simply because of lunchtime and cleaning then up afterwards.
we’ve tried taking him up even earlier say 6-6:30pm but it still takes at least an hour before going to sleep but might be worth revisiting now he’s moved up a class and it’s even more tiring for him.
he probably is a bit young but I do think it’s something he would enjoy when older so will look into a yoto to make it part of the routine.
thank you.

@jemimafuddleduck we used to include a bath but if anything it got him even more excited and would cry when we got him out but now I don’t know if it’s a phase but for the past 2 weeks he screams and cries when going near the bath and won’t sit in it at all. It’s like he’s scared of it which is odd as he used to loved bath time. Whether he knows it means bed time is coming so now hates it, I don’t know. It’s not the temp either as I always triple check it’s not too hot or cold so basically we don’t bother anymore unless he’s dirty because screaming and crying isn’t exactly a calming bedtime routine!
I will try putting him in straight after and see how that goes.
I guess he screams anyway so might as well put him straight in the cot instead of too many cuddles.

@LadyFlumpalot thank you for the suggestion! The audiobook sounds lovely and definitely worth a try.