Bedtime routine and sleep

[JavanDawns]

I have a 7 week old so I'm very new to bedtime routines! DD is gorgeous and on the whole doing really well, but we're having some issues with bedtime and her waking from discomfort throughout the night.

Last night it took 2 hours to get her off to sleep, so any tips on bedtime routine for newborns would be appreciated! At the moment we're doing feed, bath, gentle massage then a song and bed. I'm curious - Do most people leave the feed until last to help them drop off?

Also, she doesn't sleep very long stretches, usually between 1.5-3 hours and is often quite unsettled and wakes up from passing wind or digesting, plus feeds. After nearly 2 months with very little sleep we're stumped on whether this is typical for a newborn and how to reduce her discomfort...

We've tried infacol, colief, gripe water along with regular massage and a couple of trips to the osteopath. Hoping the hive mind will have some ideas to help her (and us!) Get into a more structured sleep pattern. TIA

I am by no means an expert! But all I can say is the only thing that helped was time 😊

And I seem to remember it did start to get easier to get her to sleep from 8-12 weeks or so. The manic crying at night stopped, we didn't have to go drive her places and she generally dropped off with her bottle.

We had her in a bath around 7 and the whole routine including bottle at the end took about an hour. It varies though time wise and definitely didn't have a routine established until at least 4months.

I think its always a good start when you set the room up in advance and get yourself organised. But the only thing for us was time - we tried everything you mentioned too.

So normal. Most babies that age will wake with that frequency. All that wind and gurgling and digesting is just their little bodies getting used to everything and like the pp said it passes with time. Suddenly you'll realise it's not happening any more. Whether you'll get longer stretches of sleep is another matter! My little one was ridiculously noisy, farty, gurgly and kept me awake even when he was asleep. So loud! And I remember googling a lot trying to find solutions, but came to accept it was totally normal.

Likewise, we didn't really start any kind of proper routine until 4-5 months, it felt kind of pointless before then as they are so little. I think main thing at that stage is just to get them used to night and day and circadian rhythm. Some babies I imagine will naturally find structure earlier but if they don't I don't think there's much you can do other than wait a bit.

Is there a reason you're not feeding to sleep? If you're saying it took two hours to get her to sleep after her routine (with the feed at the beginning) then that seems a long stretch for a little one of that age to go without a feed especially at bed time, and then surely she'll be waking soon after for her next feed? Are you breastfeeding? If so, breast milk has sleep inducing hormones to help your little one nod off so it makes sense to breastfeed to sleep, and it is an easy way to comfort them. I don't know about formula feeding but imagine it is comforting for them at this stage too and will fill them up to keep them sleeping for longer from the end of bedtime to the next feed iyswim?

But I hear you. It's tough, but things will probably settle soon!

Have a read if the fourth trimester. They aren’t meant to have sleep patterns or sleep for long periods at this age.

Most baby sleep problems are caused by unreasonable le parental expectations.

I don't know about formula feeding but imagine it is comforting for them at this stage too and will fill them up to keep them sleeping for longer from the end of bedtime to the next feed iyswim?

There’s no evidence that formula helps babies sleep longer.

Oh gosh, at that age, and if there arent any other children to wrangle, would it be nicer, and possibly better for her wind if she slept in your arms while you watched TV or just hung out?
She sounds really normal and it will change. My dd made it clear at about 10 weeks that she only wanted to be in a dark quiet room in the evenings.

Yes, I wasn't clear, I didn't mean that formula makes them sleep longer, I should have said that feeding as the last part of a bedtime routine instead of at the beginning means that you might get a bit of a longer first stretch of sleep as opposed to feeding at the beginning of a routine then it takes two hours for them to get to sleep and then they might wake hungry/need feeding again after just an hour. If that makes sense.

Thanks for the comments everyone, it's reassuring to know it's just normal baby behaviour as so awful seeing her in so much discomfort!

I'm breast feeding with my DH giving occasional bottle feeds with formula/expressed milk so I can get some sleep. I usually would feed to sleep but sometimes the timings don't line up. When it took 2 hours for her to drop off I did feed her again, but usually it only takes 30 minutes.

Hoping things will gradually settle over time as she gets older

What do you mean the timings don’t line up?