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Original poster

Can’t keep doing this !!

46 replies

Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 08:06

I’m not sure how much more of my situation I can take ! My 2.5 year old son goes to bed fine, he falls asleep in my arms with a night light and white noise and I place him into cot. But by 1/2am he wakes up crying, he falls back to sleep in my arms and once he is in deep enough sleep I “attempt” to put him back into bed and instantly wakes up so I try again for the same to happen, I let him go into a deep enough sleep before trying to put him into bed. But eventually I am so tired and my husband needs to sleep as he works I give up and bring him downstairs and he sleeps the rest of the night on top of me on sofa ! He doesn’t move a muscle but then wakes anywhere from 5.30am onwards. But he doesn’t gradually wake up, he opens his eyes and he springs up asking for tv on etc. This has been happening since he was too big for his Moses basket so we are talking nearly 2 years ! I am absolutely exhausted and I’m so much pain with my back lying on sofa. Any ideas on how to keep him in his bed so I could get into my bed would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance

OP posts:
LividHot · 25/09/2023 08:07

Magnesium gummies from Amazon.

DustyLee123 · 25/09/2023 08:09

Get him a single bed and teach him to go to sleep himself.

GinBlossom94 · 25/09/2023 08:10

Why is he still in a cot at 2.5 years? Get him a single bed with bed guard and work from there, at least then if you're still sleeping with him for a while you have a bed too

LillyLeaf · 25/09/2023 08:14

Get him a single bed with clip on side guard. My 2.5 year old went through a huge 6 month phase of waking several times a night. He wanted to sit on me or hold my hand but whenever I would try to leave he woke up. With the single bed at least you can get in it too, cuddle then leave or stay and sleep. Mine did grow out if it mostly, he's 3 now.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 08:41

Thank you for your replies. I feel he’s not old enough for a bed yet. He would just climb out of bed. I need to keep him in a deep enough sleep like he is when he’s asleep on me. Nothing seems to make a difference as in what time I put him to bed or if he has a nap during the day etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 11:25

LividHot · 25/09/2023 08:07

Magnesium gummies from Amazon.

What are they for? How do they help?

OP posts:
LividHot · 25/09/2023 11:28

They help my little boy (3, similar waking up issues) stay asleep once he’s off. No idea of the science but it works.

PinkRoses1245 · 25/09/2023 11:31

I agree, he should be in a bed. And he needs to learn to fall asleep alone, so he gets used to getting himself back to sleep if he wakes in the night

TropicalTrama · 25/09/2023 11:36

I don’t understand the objection to a bed. He falls asleep in your arms anyway, so just do that in the bed. Then get up and leave once he’s deeply asleep. It has 2 key benefits- he hasn’t been transferred so with any luck he’s likely to wake because he won’t be noticing he’s moved, the other is that should he wake in the early you can decamp to his bed and all get back to sleep ASAP. I’d go for a double if it’ll fit though, not a single, comfier for you that way. One side against the wall, bed guard on the other and put stair gate on his door if you’re worried about him wondering. Over time if you want to you can try to move yourself from in the bed with him, to a chair in his room to him falling asleep by himself.

hellohelp · 25/09/2023 11:38

How many bedrooms do you have?
Your husband is the only one getting a good sleep and that is unfair.
I understand he needs sleep for his work but you sound at breaking point. If your ds will only sleep for you then he can't help with that but he could take a bit of stress off you by building ds a bed that you can fit in too instead of the couch

TropicalTrama · 25/09/2023 11:44

Also your DH needs to step up here. I’m assuming he doesn’t work 7 days a week so why is it all on you?

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 13:31

LividHot · 25/09/2023 11:28

They help my little boy (3, similar waking up issues) stay asleep once he’s off. No idea of the science but it works.

Thanks for that, I’ll have a little research on that

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 13:34

I appreciate your reply but there is no room for a bed, he is still in our bedroom as all the bedrooms are spoken for. He stays asleep for a few hours then all of a sudden he wakes up, I can settle him back into cot bed a couple of times but by 2ish he wakes and then he won’t go back 🤷‍♀️

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VivaVivaa · 25/09/2023 13:35

This is a crazy set up. He needs to fall asleep independently in his own sleep space and you maybe need to reduce/cut any naps he’s having. Of course a 2.5 yo is going to protest falling asleep in arms to then wake up and find themselves in a cot. And make early wake ups very boring. Don’t reinforce by putting the TV.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 13:37

hellohelp · 25/09/2023 11:38

How many bedrooms do you have?
Your husband is the only one getting a good sleep and that is unfair.
I understand he needs sleep for his work but you sound at breaking point. If your ds will only sleep for you then he can't help with that but he could take a bit of stress off you by building ds a bed that you can fit in too instead of the couch

We have 4 bedrooms, but all the other rooms are spoken for, we have 6 children altogether, 2 of which still live at home and work full time so they need their sleep as well so unfortunately I feel like I have to quickly get him downstairs so he’s not disturbing 3 people that work. I just don’t understand why he’s fine at first and a few times after that to go back into bed then he just won’t go back 🤷‍♀️

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stopitisaid · 25/09/2023 13:40

So when ARE you going to get him a bed then if there is no room? Will he be in a cot til he's a secondary school?!

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 13:41

VivaVivaa · 25/09/2023 13:35

This is a crazy set up. He needs to fall asleep independently in his own sleep space and you maybe need to reduce/cut any naps he’s having. Of course a 2.5 yo is going to protest falling asleep in arms to then wake up and find themselves in a cot. And make early wake ups very boring. Don’t reinforce by putting the TV.

Not why you think this is a crazy set up? 🤷‍♀️ He doesn’t protest falling asleep in the slightest and like I have said he falls asleep and stays asleep for about 4 hrs then I can settle him a few times after that so he goes back into bed with no protest but by about 2am he wakes and falls asleep into a deep sleep but then just won’t go into bed. The room is dark and quiet and he has a night light and white noise. He doesn’t always have a nap and if he does it’s for about 1 hr during the day

OP posts:
Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 13:44

stopitisaid · 25/09/2023 13:40

So when ARE you going to get him a bed then if there is no room? Will he be in a cot til he's a secondary school?!

Obviously not ! But at this precise moment there is no spare room but that is being changed soon.

OP posts:
Peachee · 25/09/2023 13:50

Our son has a double bed and has had since he was 18 months. It’s pushed against the wall with a bed guard. Ample room to move around.
i lie next to him until he falls asleep.. often cuddling and then if he wakes get up and get in with him. he’s 3 on Thursday and it’s working well.
I don’t know how you’re doing it on the sofa. I did it in the first year and was fraught. Somethings got to give here..

Peachee · 25/09/2023 13:52

Just read your posts sorry, I didn’t realise you don’t have a room for him. I would consider a cot bed next to the wall next to your bed I think or co sleep.. not the best but you need sleep in a bed..

PurBal · 25/09/2023 13:54

I agree with PP that a bed would help. Also, whenever we’ve shared a room with DS (eg on holiday) he wakes earlier. He’s slept enough to be able to get up for the day and sees mummy and daddy so suddenly it’s play/cuddle/story time. It’s the same as if you’d slept less than your usual 8 hours (or whatever is normal for you) but you’re not tired enough to fall back to sleep if the tv is on / traffic is loud / it’s blowing a gale. It’s too stimulating.

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 14:01

LividHot · 25/09/2023 11:28

They help my little boy (3, similar waking up issues) stay asleep once he’s off. No idea of the science but it works.

Can I ask, how long did it take for you to notice a difference? I’ve just had a read up of this and it sounds promising.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 25/09/2023 14:05

Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 08:41

Thank you for your replies. I feel he’s not old enough for a bed yet. He would just climb out of bed. I need to keep him in a deep enough sleep like he is when he’s asleep on me. Nothing seems to make a difference as in what time I put him to bed or if he has a nap during the day etc.

My 1 year old has been in a single bed since he was 10 months old. We put an extra high bed guard on side and top so he can't climb out and it's been a lifesaver. He wouldnt sleep in cot much because I think he felt too confined. Now he's got loads of space to move in to get comfy and sleeps way better than he used to. 2.5 is really not too young for single bed

Original poster
Rachaelc1981 · 25/09/2023 14:08

Devilsmommy · 25/09/2023 14:05

My 1 year old has been in a single bed since he was 10 months old. We put an extra high bed guard on side and top so he can't climb out and it's been a lifesaver. He wouldnt sleep in cot much because I think he felt too confined. Now he's got loads of space to move in to get comfy and sleeps way better than he used to. 2.5 is really not too young for single bed

Show quote history

I appreciate your reply but we have no spare room at the moment for a single bed for him. He has a huge sleigh cot bed so there is so much room for him, so he’s not confined in the slightest

OP posts:
LividHot · 25/09/2023 14:11

A day or two. Nothing to lose for less than a tenner.