Can't put my 8 wk old DS down in the day - fights sleep and cries unless he's with me.

[Babyisaac]

Hi girls
It's really getting beyond a joke. I love the cuddles but I can't do a thing. He refuses to sleep and even though he keeps yawning he just won't be put down to sleep. I can only grab a shower if I leave him to scream the house down. He's so very tired but will only sleep in my arms. He will sleep in his pram when we go out but will wake as soon as we get home. The problem is getting out - can't go out in my pyjamas!!
I bought an Amby as a desperate measure but it has only worked a few times and even then I only get half an hour out of him. I feel as though this is a constant cycle of feeding, rocking and then feeding again. I really thought this would be over by 8 weeks and I can't see an end to it.

Any advice most appreciated!

my dd did this - she is 12 weeks now and has started to occupy herself now for short periods of time - i think it's just a phase

i find i have to bounce ds in his Amby for 30-40mins to get him into a deep sleep.

i faced the same probs as 8 weeks but found it was due to ds having reflux. my solution was i made him a beanbag (stuffed firmly with beans so no sinking in) and proped him up on this in front of the tv (evil i know but when you are on your own most of the time you have to do what you can). this gave me enough time whilst reasuring him to get myself ready to go out.

now (ds is 5mo) that the reflux is over (well under good control) he is happy when he wakes up and will play on his mat with his toys for a while as long as i am around (can't not be in such a small flat!) so i get time to get dressed and get his things ready etc.

thankfully it was mid winter in the early days and i just put my big coat over whatever i was wearing if we had to go out. it was leather as well so the puke wiped of easily.

My heart goes out to you!
The lack of any time at all is just unbelievable. My DD didn't sleep either - always wanted to be up in arms and wailed if left alone... I just used to put her down on some towels in the bathroom when I had a shower - she screamed with the noise, but I had to wash!!!

It is hard going, and my DD didn't change until she could sit up at 7 months. Thinking back, I wish I had put up black out blinds for her and had a firm bean bag to plop her in. we got a mobile which wound up and it gave me about 2 minutes.

what really used to bug me was that all my friends who had babes at the same time had no problem putting their LOs down, and were full of advice like - just put her down, she'll drop off......

I have to say I was more than a little bit relieved when their second babies turned out like my DD (she's an only BTW for obvious reasons!!) only then did they understand why I was so frustrated and wrecked.

So I feel for you and hope some of the suggestions here are useful.

If you can try and get someone to give your baby a walk, and get some down time and a long bath / facial for yourself. It's essential to recharge your batteries and just remember who you are again.

My DD is an amazing little 3 and a half year old now - really tuned in to people and their emotions, and very empathetic - so all the 'face time' we had was just part of her personality. She really needed to look at me and figure out my face and be held when she was a baby. Now I'm glad I just gave in and accepted that she was the way she was /is, as she's just such good company now and very much a people person with lots of little friends.

HTH and good luck.

Weirdly I've just sorted this exact problem with my 8 wk old son, as before this, he would only go to sleep in the buggy. although people might shout at me, the solution was to put him on his front. He's got excellent head control and I follow all the other SIDS advice but this has revolutionised my life, to be honest. He manages to settle himself to sleep and put this way last night he slept from 9pm to 5am! Do think through the SIDS advice and make your own decision though. I only did it as quite a few mums I know (including my sister) do this and it was the only thing that resolved their sleep issues.

babyisaac, I found that things really settled around 12 weeks, if that helps. It is horrible to hear a lo cry, but if he is being fed, loved and cuddled (as he clearly is) you may just have to occaisionally let him cry while you get washed and dressed. Not nice though. DOn't worry - it gets easier!

thankyou ladies, your words of support are really helping his mum ( & me his dad)
D x

Hi Babyisaac's mum, my 5 month old dd2 is really difficult to get to sleep in her cot at night, but naps no issue - I have an old pram outside in the garden - I put her out there when she shows signs of tiredness - nice and warm in a sleepsuit and with a duvet and the fresh air and sounds makes her nod off without a peep. I don't rock her or walk, she just knows it's naptime when put there - you really should give it try!

Hi Babyisaac, I remember these days really well (my DS is 18 months old now)! I do feel for you - I'm not sure if anyone else has already suggested it but maybe try a baby sling? I carried DS around in it most of the time when he was little - you obviously can't wear it all the time but it does let your arms free to do some things (I remember going to the toilet wearing it quite often just so I didn't have to wake DS up!). Another thing is swaddling - if you wrap him up really snugly in a sheet with his arms by his side he'll feel 'held' so more likely to go to sleep.

Good luck, it does get easier!

Hi there,
I have an 8 week old who was ok going down for day naps until last week when she started really fighting the naps.It seemed to change over the weekend - the friday she had prper length naps and went down ok, the monday she wouldn't at all. If anyone else has any suggestions they are welcome. I take her to a quiet room when she shows signs of tiredness but she still looks around etc and continues to stimulate herself until she is beside herself. The pram soesn't get her to sleep either. She has managed just 2.0 hours of naps today - none longer than 45 mins. I feel pretty desparate and confused as she does sleep at night.

i had the same problem and did the same as mrsjasmin, at the advice of DH's aunt who's a midwife. DD's main problem is wind, and sleeping on her front helps her work it out herself, plus her little waving arms aren't hitting her in her own face. some babies really just prefer it, same as adults - i for one have never been able to sleep on my back

a few weeks of this, plus occasionally letting her cry herself to sleep worked wonders. she is now 12 weeks and settles herself to sleep every night without any fuss, and even does pretty well in the day, too.

if you're worried about doing front sleeping, as it isn't anti SIDS advice, maybe try it for naps during the day. i worried for the first few days, but DD is healthy and we have no other risk factors - it revolutionised our life.

I haven't read the other posts so sorry if this is repeated. My DD was like this and it really is tough I know. I would suggest a) a sling for day time use which gives you hands free. b) can you either manage with a wash or take your lo into the shower? failing that what about putting them in a carrycot / on a towel in the bathroom and let the water and warmth soothe? I hate to break it to you too but my DD is 18 months and still we have days like this and man she's heavy these days. The only thing that stops you going insane is remembering that it won't last for ever and try and go with it. HTH.

shame, you poor lady, like gingerninja i really recommend using a sling. i have used many but the one i use now all the time is the ergo carrier (promise i don't work for them!) and it is amazing because you can wear your baby on your back and even forget you have a baby!!!, which is sometimes what you need to do! and hands free and no lump in front of you, free to do dishes or whatever...you can buy the newborn insert....not sure such tiny babies can be worn at the back but millions and millions of African women do it with great success... I have tried so many styles of sling but this one is the absolute best and you'll get lots of use out of it as it carries up to toddler and all the weight goes on your hips so no sore shoulders etc. Hang in there x