Think we're going to start sleep training tomorrow. Feel sad, relieved and nervous.

[NoviceKnitter]

DD is 8 mo and still waking every half an hour (at least) throughout the evenings and quite a lot at night too. Parenthood has brought out the inner hippy in me and we've co-slept since birth, which I've loved. But since she hit 6 months her sleep's got much worse and we are seriously knackered. I have little time to cook her food, collect my thoughts or hang out with DP. So, tomorrow night we are - I think - going to start trying to train her to fall asleep on her own. For this she's going to have to move into her cot, and there will be crying, though I won't be leaving her alone. I don't really want to do this at all, but I feel we've got to the point where we don't have a choice. Just wanted to share. Any support, positive experiences, tips, or anything else would be lovely to hear.

interesting, and strangely reassuring, that noone's said she'll just grow out of it...

MegB interesting - I know shushing and patting doesn't wash with DD a bit, but a bit of carrying around and rockng can help. God knows how this is going to go. Feeling right now like I might bottle out but we'll see!

HI oh whata tricky subject last night I left ds to cry two diff times in hos cot whil i was in the bed and he cried for 5 or so then went back over....wasnt too bad....he is 14 ish months and I am done in so thought i have to do this.....I def think its worth teaching them a little that they have to sleep thought beats me the best method!

We co slept til 6 months. sleep training at 7 months. Never looked back. It was one night of hell, followed by 2 or 3 fairly anxious ones. Now several weeks of blissful kip. DD has a happy mummy now!
Did controlled crying. Hated myself. But it worked!

Hi NK, sorry, when I posted earlier I mis-read the OP (assumed it would be controlled crying in a separate room) but agree that gently, gently at this stage for both you and dd (!) would be preferable at this stage. If (and when!) you get further along bear in mind my tip .

Good luck again.

NK: rocking used to work with DS, but then he became too big and wriggly and it just became a wrestling match!

Noviceknitter - I can't remember how long it took with dd as it was a couple of years ago but with ds we started last monday so are on day 9. With daytime naps it usually takes about 10 mins to settle him and he wakes after about half an hour then it takes 15-20 mins to re settle him. He cries a lot but I never leave his side and have my hand on his tummy while shh-ing him close to his head.

At night time he seems to settle himself a bit better - if he wakes 3 times I may only have to settle him twice, the other time I leave him to it.

It's not working as quickly as with dd but all babies are different and at least I can see some improvement. In fact this morning he twice woke up screaming from his nap and settled back to sleep again almost immediately.

Good luck!

How did it go last night noviceknitter?

Sorry to hijack, but any advice for those without enough space to put babe in own room - also terraced house and don't want to upset the neighbours? DS is 6.5 months and not settling well unless he gets to fall asleep at breast. I'm back at work now so cave in because I need the sleep too. How many nights in a row have other people given LOs calpol/medised - trying not to resort to drugs too often - maybe not often enough? Tired and confused!

Haven't read the whole thread but I stopped night feeds about 9 months and continued co-sleeping, just turning DD on her side away from me and cuddling. It was really painless for us so I felt she must have been ready to stop feeding. She never cried for longer than about a minute. She has, on her own, got so so much better since turning a year and even better than that since about 13/ 14 months. These days we have very restless nights if teething or ill but other than that, they're pretty good. I now co-sleep with DD in a bed in her room (getting up to her at some point in the night if required). I moved her to her own bed (a matress on the floor) at about 12 months because she just wouldn't settle in her cot. That way we could settle her on her bed, leave her until she woke (properly not just crying out in her sleep) and co-sleep from that point. The gap between going to sleep and when she needs us has got bigger and she's sleeping so much better and more solidly but I think it's just an age thing.

Bluechampagne, I'd start your own thread, you'll get more responses. Personally I don't think it's a good idea to give your baby calpol etc unless they're in pain. It won't make them sleep, if anything the sugar in it has my DD bouncing off the walls. 6.5 months is still quite young and he likely still needs feeding, you could try and stretch the feeds out a bit so if he's feeding every hours, make it two then three etc etc. Co-sleeping was absolutely the only thing for me at this age because getting up is nightmare. Or have you tried a cot sidecar? Again, if you start your own thread, more people will see it.

Hi Orangina - no haven't started yet! Will let you know!

gingerninja - that sounds a perfect way for things to have gone. wish could be so simple with dd. we'll see...

Thanks Gingerninja - more worried I'm not giving calpol enough for tooth pain. Will start own thread if things don't improve. Good luck everyone!

(blue champagne, find baby nurofen better for teething pain than calpol)

Bottled out last night. DD has cold and croaky voice so didn't think fair (but also glad of excuse to put off and reconsider merits of No Cry Sleep Solution etc.) I tanked her up with EBM in case that helped but it didn't. She was crying four times before 10pm. I think I really will have to bite the bullet, but read about these high need babies in Sears who will cry for hours and hours and think dd might be one of them... Anyway, must just get on with it I think. Will let you know how it goes, thanks for all your help and support.

Hi NoviceKnitter. I have same situation, DD is 8, nearly 9 months, breastfeeding, slept really well till 6 months then started feeding freq in night and needing to co-sleep, often only sleeping when lying on me like a little koala bear. We moved her into her own room last week and DH's pleading insistence. I am amazed at the difference. She doesnt wake up properly for a feed til 5 or six then goes back to sleep till eight or half eight. The rest of the night she will make the odd little cry and sooth herself before we get up. I wish we'd tried this ages ago!

The other thing I wonder is, my DD has never gone to bed early, she wakes up ridiculously early and wont go back to sleep if we put her to bed at eightish,so we dont really put her to bed till she looks sleepy, at which point we feed her some rice pudding and I bf her to sleep. Some nights she's in bed by nine, last night 'twas 10.45 before she was asleep. We dont go out much, so thats fine, but friends and family often drop in in the evenings and I think she finds it all too much fun to be sent packing too early. Maybe your wee one only needs a shorter nights sleep?

Oh, and I lately cut out long naps, I wake her up if she sleeps more than half an hour after a feed, and that made a difference to her sleep.

Its shocking thought isnt it you feel like you should be back on form, bouncing around at 8 months, instead of this.....

Hi daydream. wow! did you do any sleep training or have a few nights of crying or did she go for it straight away?

re naps, i'm pretty sure dd's are ok. at night it's not that she wakes up more that she cries in increasingly frustrated tones in her sleep until she wakes herself up. i've played with nap timings and length and NOTHING makes any difference. only thing was a trip to the cranial osteopath improved her masses for a week, but two further sessions she seems back to square one.

Anyway, DD has a rotten cold so we're putting things off till the weekend at least, meanwhile i'm revisiting all the options. we'd been going to do one of hte "gentle" ones where you sit with them till they go to sleep, but this feels uncomfortable to me - if I'm there shouldn't i be pickiing her up? at least when you go in and out the room you're attending to them when you're with them...

Well, wish me luck, will keep you posted when dd's cold has gone.

Hiya Novice knitter! Yes, she did pretty much go for it right away, we put off moving her a few times when she had a cold and right after going on holiday, so perhaps we just got the timing right. DH has said all along that I was jumping up too fast to pick her up, and she was right next to me in a travel cot and I am a light sleeper so , fair enough. Also, DH snores, and perhaps that disturbed her.

I was amazed at the difference and just this once am happy to be wrong (Id rather be right and well slept but wrong and well slept will do)

Oh now I think of it the first 2 nights DH was the one to go into her when she cried, we decided that would help, as she associates me with feeding. Since then, I am mainly the one going into her as I am at home with her in the day, and I tend to wait a couple of minutes before going up to her. Sometimes she has fallen asleep before I get there, but when she hasnt its usually an increasingly urgent type cry and I just couldnt leave her.

I wouldnt do any formal sleep training type thing if youre not really happy with it. People have said to me all along that she will sleep better when she is crawling more as she will be more tired, but that her sleep patterns will change from month to month anyway. I dont really agree with leaving a baby to cry, not for any length of time, but maybe thats the crux of the matter, what length of time you go for.

Have you tried just putting her to bed later, maybe she's not tired enough in the evenings? My LO seems to be more tired some days than other, tonight she was asleep by half eight, last night it was quarter to eleven. But I do think I am a bit weak about all this maybe, she is so the boss of me!

Heres to a good nights sleep for everyone......fingers crossed.

Hi Novice knitter and daydream

Am reading your posts with interest - have posted sepereately on my sleep issues but quite similar....

dd 6.5mo, bf in bed with me, co sleeps, tried moving her to own room but still got up and I was exhausted getting up and bf-ing her three times in her own toom when used to bf her in bed so gave in...

stuck on what to do now....

Whats the jay gordon??

We started sleep training last week too but had to stop half way through because ds (8 mths) ungraciously decided to sprout 4 teeth all at once ! Only really went to sleep with me patting him and then jolted himself awake after 20 mins, but was 1st time in cot since colic at 2wks so a teeny weeny bit of progress made ! Did proper cc with ds 1 ( now 5 ) and it worked within days - brilliant night time sleeper now- but ds 2 is different kettle of fish -a much more full on character and needs a gentler approach like pu/put down. Ds 1 was already at nursery by the time we did it so maybe (sob) had had to learn how to settle himself a bit anyway Good luck anyway.

I'm finding this so hard. I feel I 've left it a bit late to be honest - should have started when things were reasonably good. Last night for example DD sucked for a lot of the night. It can't go on, but it feels like anything I do now will be terrible cold turkey. Anyway, she's still got a really bad cold, and I'm spending this morning reviewing all the different techniques while DP takes her out. I think deep down I'm hoping if I can procrastinate enough she'll just sort herself out, or just be ready like DDB's dd. Crawling now but no sign of it helping. And she's definitely definitely tired. She just can't keep herself asleep. Agh!

justme27 have you tried any of the night-weaning techniques? You could try Andrea Grace's book on Baby Sleep. Three times is NOTHING!! And a good time to work on improving, imo.

Just spoken to friend with a 9 mth old who started cc same time last week.All going well then developed cold over weekend and now back to square one. She's gutted as she thought she'd cracked it! My ds has now slept nearly 11/2 hrs in pram .. why can't he do this in cot... it's beyond me.

DD still has bad cold but last night i had some success with the No Cry Sleep Solution delatch method. Took about 9 times each time but she did sort of self settle evenutally about 4 times. I was still in the bedroom more than not but am going to give that a go until she's better and if necessary we'll go the cold turkey method.

Always good to know we're not alone with this stuff, and also to remember that in a few months or a year it will all feel like ancient history.

By the way we've also just bought a FANTASTIC pocket sprung superkingsize bed. It's dreamy and we're all sleeping much better.