Daughter won’t sleep alone!!!

[Jessica0508]

Hello,

I am getting extremely frustrated as my nearly 7 year old still won’t go to sleep on her own! She is relentless, I have tried the leaving her and putting her back and she just won’t give in and screams and cries, I don’t know what to do. Not only does she take a stupidly long time to get to sleep a lot of nights so I don’t have any evening at all… she often wakes up as soon as I move or we try move her into her bed. It is half 11 at night right now, I have lost my temper, husband who she doesn’t like letting her put her to bed is dealing with it.. she is letting him as I got cross, I feel awful for getting cross as usual (I don’t often as it usually isn’t this late!!!). I am just so sick of not having any evening to myself ever. My partner doesn’t seem to realise how frustrating it is, usually because he is sat downstairs chilling and playing games whilst I’m dealing with it. I feel like she’s too old now to do the cry it out method and she would be exhausted for school. It is husbands fault she’s awake tonight because I got her to sleep and then he went upstairs to move her!!!! He knows not to do this straight away but did it anyway. What do I do? :( she gets so worked up when we talk about it.

Bless you I know how tough this is. Dd (6) is very similar.

Things that have helped me: keep her bedroom door open and leave a soft lamp on in her room so it’s not pitch black (I turn it off when I go to bed)
Letting her listen to something in bed, we have a toniebox and an Alexa in her room so she can choose what she wants to listen to after her story.

A really rigid bedtime routine with a countdown so she knows what’s coming. Dd goes to bed for 7:30, so from 6:30 if it’s a bath/shower day we do that, then she has 20 mins doing what she likes but I remind her every 5 mins that it’s bedtime soon. Then teeth then up for a story. I make sure she has a water bottle in her room so she doesn’t get up asking for a drink!

Toys to play with in bed. I don’t mind if she’s not sleeping, but she does need to be in bed. So she has her barbies or baby Annabelle in with her to play with if she wants. Or a sketch pad and some pens.

If she does start the screaming/saying she’s scared etc I tell her that it’s just me in the house, no one can get in and I use a sleepy room spray as a monster/spider repellent.

Then I go down, and if she shouts for me I say it’s ok Dd! It’s night time now you’re fine, I’ll see you in the morning. Repeatedly. And if she gets up it’s straight back in to bed everytime.

Some nights this works instantly, others it takes a bit more time. I do get frustrated too but try not to show her because that will wind her up more. Good luck!

I don’t have any advice on this but just wanted to say that I am in the same boat. My daughter has just turned 8. Have to stay with her whilst she falls asleep and she is always trying to procrastinate about going to bed which makes it hard work. I end up doing bedtime 90% of the time as she wants me so understand the frustration when it gets past a certain time. To top it off as well she wakes during the night and wants someone with her to fall asleep again. I’m trying to slowly break the cycle of her needing someone there to fall asleep but she is putting up a lot of resistance. Hoping someone comes gives you some good advice I can use too!