naps

[Eulalia]

Cl - from my experience with friends it is anywhere from about 20 months onwards. Most kids would have stopped them by about 2 1/2. Kids vary in the amount of sleep they need just like adults. I'd say try to get her to have one long sleep at night. September is a long way off though so no hurry yet I would have thought.

My daughter is 16 and a half weeks old and we're having serious problems with her daytime naps - she's great at night and last night slept from 8.30 til 3am we fed her then she slept til 7.30am, but through the day she's a nightmare! She battles and battles to stay awake and ends up completley exhausted by tea time, she'll go a whole day with only 45 minutes of broken sleep. At the moment she's in a cot in our room for naps but has been in bed with us at night for the last few weeks til we moved her cot upstairs, before this she was in a cradle by our bed and she still wouldn't sleep through the day at all. She seems to have an internal timer of 30 minutes max and will only sleep for that length of time and wakes up screaming and still exhausted - is she too young for sleep training?? any ideas??? Is this because she hasn't learned to fall asleep on her own yet?

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Bloss -Is 17 weeks too young to start sleep training for daytime naps - we've been trying for 4 days now to get her to bed as soon as I catch her first yawn, but she either just cries and cries or she sits laughing at you. This morning I sat by her cot to get her to sleep for an hour and twenty minutes with her keep shutting her eyes and then startling and waking back up, eventually when she did drop off it was for a measley 20 minutes which is very disheartening when you've sat there for so long! We've tried sitting by her cot and not leaving the room to try a gradual approach as I wasn't sure if the sleep training would be appropriate for a young baby! How old was your son? Did you leave him to cry and leave the room? My Daughter just will not let herself go to sleep during the day - we're at a loss with her as we know she's exhausted

17 weeks isn't too early (in my experience) but you will need to be TOUGH - we put our 3 week old baby in his own room and the first time we left him to sleep it took him an hour of serious sobbing - I was on the 'phone to a friend who kept saying 'shouldn't you go to him' but I managed to toughen it out and ever since he will always go happily to his cot at 6.30/7ish and play with his toys until he falls asleep (this can take up to 30 minutes but we leave him alone) - he has only just (at 5 months) started going through the night but again he will wake and play with his toys before starting to cry - I am probably a very hard hearted mum but this has worked for us and means we have our evenings to ourselves - I also recommend Contented Little Baby Book. Good Luck! PS. He hardly sleeps in the day - this is the downside!

Why would you want to be tough with a 17 week old baby? I have read in several places that the earliest time that you can do sleep training is 6 months - when they have learned a little more about the world and understand a bit more.

Paula1: it's not that I want to be tough on her, but rather a case of trying to help her by getting some sleep. She is so exhausted bt tea-time every day it's so sad to see her distraught and unconsolable cos she's constantly overtired. If it takes a couple of days with her crying to get her into a good habit of sleeping which will greatly improve her days, then I'd rather do that than see her suffer every single day for however long through not getting any rest.It's not as if there's an easier option to help her go to sleep as it doesn't matter if you rock her or soothe her she just will not let herself go off and ends up screaming either way, so it's a case of either let her scream short term or carry on screaming long term but getting nowhere! if anyone knows of any easier options than letting her cry it out please tell me cos I'd much rather try anything before leaving her and checking on her every 5 mins.

I wanted to follow the routines in the contnted baby book, but, although my son would sleep at night, he just didn't want to sleep at the times given in the routines, and would cry & cry. I finally, reluctantly gave up. but tried again a few weekes later happily with success.

I really don't mean to critise by saying this, and I'm sure plenty of mums do it, but one thing that I can't imagine or understand doing is sitting by my child's bed until they went to sleep. If someone sat by my bed I think I'd feel too distracted to sleep, but anyway, the child surely is going to find it really difficult to sleep when you suddenly stop doing this. I mean, you can't intend to do this every nap & bed time until they leave home, and I would have thought the longer you do it the harder it will be for the child, and for you. I'm sure loads of people will shout me down or disagree with me on this, but I hear all the time people moening about various sleep problems, be it child won't sleep without a dummy/being rocked/being in parents bed/before midnight etc etc and these problems all seem to be resonably easy to avoid.

We've aways put our children into bed after story and cuddles etc, kissed then goodnight and shut the door, and that pretty much is that. There have been (rare) occasions, colds, injectons where they've needed us during the night, but we just don't have any fuss bother or fights aboout bed time & sleeping. No doubt as they get older this might not always be the case, but if you set up sensible attitudes to sleeping from the beginning it's got to be easier that trying to start it after the child has been used to lots of parental involvement in their getting to sleep & staying asleep.

My dd was three months old when we started following The Contented Little Baby Book. I'm afraid I do disagree with you Paula1 that a baby cannot be trained to go to sleep. Within three days of getting the book, my little one was having a short nap in the morning, a long afternoon one and was sleeping through the night.
Although we do have a sleepy baby so she didn't mind too much about being put down to sleep. But before that she wasn't in a routine at all, she is our first and we were letting her stay up until we went to bed in the vain hope that she would waken later in the morning.

All babies are different and some are bound to be sleepier than others. What works for our babies might not work for yours Samgas. Have you asked your HV about daytime naps? Try out a few of the suggestions posted here, if they don't work you can always stop - what have you got to lose?

I really do think though that routine is essential. Your baby needs stability and they like to know what to expect, so try to plan out a basic daytime routine and stick with it. Do try the Gina Ford book too, it really is very good.

Good luck.

Lisav, the 6 month thing was the information given to me by my HV, and also in the Christopher Green Toddler Taming Book. I did do the sleep training thing (from the Toddler Taming Book) but only after 6 months old. To me, it seems cruel in a child younger than that. (personal opinion only)

It depends really Paula1. I would never do the controlled crying thing, the longest our dd cried for when we started with Gina Ford's book was 20 minutes. They say that it isn't cruel and has no damaging effects for the child, but I'm not convinced and so would never do it myself. But if you are desperate, then I guess it is a last resort. We have been lucky with ours that she settled into her routine quite quickly. That's what I mean about babies liking routine, she knows now when it is nap time, feed time, etc and she truly is a contented baby.
Everyone has an opinion on parenting and these books are simply expressing theirs. You've got to do what you think is best and if it works for you then great. But I know of mums who have never got into a routine with their kids and are still night-feeding at 1 yr old, personally I couldn't do that.

Samgas,

I am also one of those Gina Ford followers... do read her book, it will give you ideas. Is your baby sleeping in a very dark room ? Also are you not waiting too long before you put her down, she may be overtired for her nap.
For the longer term, you need to address this issue in a way which will suit the baby and you but I agree with others who say that a baby who sleeps sufficiently during the day will be much more contented and will probably sleep better through the night.
I have given the GF book to my 2 SIL and to 3 friends who have all done it from 2 weeks onwards... (they were interested when they heard our success with it and some of their friends misery because of lack of sleep) all of them had no (or very little) difficulty with puting their child on the routine and all had their baby sleep from 11PM to 7 AM at 2 months old.

One friend used the book at 4 months old and told me it took her 2 days to get her baby to sleep through the night and a week for the proper nap (with the odd day of course)... but she rang me to tell me that she was quite skeptical initially but had nothing to lose as her son was very difficult.... so you can start GF late and still get good results but do read the whole book not just the routines.
Good luck