dummy questions...

[bebobaggins]

I have been giving DD (9 weeks) a dummy for the last couple of weeks. She was in the bed with me (DH in front room) and feeding pretty much constantly and I was having to lie in the same position and got very little proper sleep. But she now seems happy with a dummy to go to sleep, ie it was the sucking she was after really. She'll go down easily in the moses basket with the dummy at bed time. She often sleeps a long stretch from bedtime (about 7.30) to about 12, but then finds it very hard to settle after that. I end up putting the dummy back in her mouth loads of times before she eventually drops off and then she's up again an hour or so after that for a feed. So neither of us get much proper sleep in the second half of the night. So my questions are 1. how can I keep using the dummy without creating dependency and having to put it back in her mouth a thousand times a night? and 2. other ideas about how to settle her after her first night feed? and 3. is it ok to give her a dummy and leave her to fall asleep on her own at bedtime - she doesn't cry but is it mean to leave her with just her dummy for comfort?

i didnt want to use a dummy but soooooo glad i did! There is nothing wrong in her using it as comfort, you cant be there 24/7. That is exactly what they are for! Some kids just decide one day they dont want a dummy anymore (wish mine did!) and others will keep using it. My ds is 20 months and still has one for sleep. Im not going to even try taking off him until later in the year when he can understand it going etc! Also there are all the reports that dummys can prevent cot death....

if it even makes PART of the night easier, use it. dd2 had a dummy, she was a real sucky baby (aren't they all?) and i gave her one at around 6 weeks. it made my life so much easier. it did need replugging when she woke and sometimes i had to cuddle her to sleep with the dummy. at 10.5 months (just the last 3 weeks) she won't take it anymore, and is sleeping much much better, partly because i just put her down now and have stopped the cuddling to sleep/partly because she doesnt wake for her dummy. it doesnt mean you are making a rod for your own back.

My lo had dummy and still does at 14mo, although he only has it to sleep, as otherwise he would be wandering round with it plugged in 24/7! However, he did go through an awful stage where it would fall out when he dropped off to sleep, and when he came into lighter sleep after 1hr, he'd cry for it again, so I would be getting up every hour....aagh. Would go straight back off again after, but still.....so I developed a method of tying it on using very fine elastic, so he could push it out with tongue if he needed, but it wouldn't fall away. At about 9mths, he learned to put it back in on his own, so now has it clipped onto pjs with specil clip that you can buy.

If she's not crying, then that's great...you want her to learn to settle alone, and she should be put down awake but dozy, so she can learn to settle herself with dummy. Then, if she wakes in night, she won't need to call out for you, and should help with latter stages of night. Hope all this makes sense.

Thanks all. I wasn't sure whether if she's settling with her dummy that means she;s settling on her own like everyone says you should get them to do, iyswim. but sounds like I don't need to worry too much and it does definitely help at bedtime and then to settle her after feeds in the night. She's not really sleeping well at the moment - often up every 2 hours... but I suppose that's a whole other thread!

Do you think your DD might be waking at 12 for a feed? Maybe that's why its taking time for her to go back to sleep with the dummy? Have you considered feeding her before you go to bed at say 10.30? She may then do another long stretch after that. Our DS had a dummy from day 2 to help him sleep. I think it helps them learn to fall asleep on their own and now he doesn't have one- we weaned him off it at 5mo.