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Sleep

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Original poster

8 week old sleep habits

13 replies

thelma57 · 31/08/2023 02:33

Hi all, posting for advice and to see if anyone has a similar baby!

My DD is 8 weeks (today!) and loves her sleep, but on us! We contact map during the day which I love and want to continue, she’ll sometimes be transferred to the cot but once put down will only last a short while.

In the night she’ll fall asleep (normally nursed or rocked to sleep) easily enough but we have to keep hold of her for a substantial amount of time before we attempt to put her in the cot or she wakes right away.

Shes just had a nappy change and feed after sleeping on DH for a couple of hours and I’m now holding her until she’s in a deep sleep until I can place her down, once down she’ll stir lots and then do a max of 90 mins in the cot before she’s up to cuddle or feed again and then the cycle will carry on of her sleeping on me before I place her down again.

Is this normal? If she could stay asleep on us she’d probably sleep through the night 😂
I sleep when she sleeps so it’s not too bad but getting her down is a chore and I dread it now!

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JenniferBarkley · 31/08/2023 03:14

It's normal, but also brutal. No advice from me except that it passes.

PurBal · 31/08/2023 03:40

Normal. Have you tried cosleeping? If you’re breastfeeding you can feed lying down and they can fall asleep at the breast and continue to smell and snuggle you. It may not be the best sleep for you but you’ll be able to get some rest.

DrJump · 31/08/2023 03:53

Normal. But tough. I found a a baby carrier during the day and cosleeping at night helped me manage.

Original poster

thelma57 · 31/08/2023 04:37

Thanks all (up again with her now!)
I was starting to think the holding her for so long had maybe made a rod for our own back, but the other part of me remembers how little she is and how much she needs us for reassurance 💔

I do think I need to help her fidget less though, we currently just use a blanket as she’s too small for her sleep bag and we’ve never swaddled, but might also just give it time as don’t want to restrict her too much. Starting to introduce a dummy at night now too so will see how we go. Sometimes she seems frustrated in there!

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Tofu35 · 31/08/2023 05:02

@thelma57 my wee one was too small for his sleepbag when he was 8 weeks but found one brand (think it was Tommy tippee) that did smaller sizes which helped make sure he was safe when sleeping.

8 weeks is definitely in the 4th trimester (a helpful thing to look up if you don't know about it already), she's spent 9 months being part of you, so it's a big adjustment being in the outside world now- it makes sense she feels safest when cuddled next to you! I found babywearing good for this reason- I used a fabric wrap and my wee one could nap during the day while I did small tasks around the house.

Original poster

thelma57 · 31/08/2023 05:12

Thanks @Tofu35 I’ve literally just ordered a tommy tippee one which should be here tomorrow! She always pushes the blanket down so can’t be too comfy in there, poor mite.

I have a wrap but haven’t been brave enough to try it yet, but defo need it for when DH goes back to work!

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RainbowUtensils · 31/08/2023 05:52

There are also Love to Dream zip up swaddles. That was amazing for my little one as it helps stop the Moro reflex from waking them up, and they feel all cosy. What you're describing is just like my firstborn though (my second is a more independent sleeper), it can just be down to baby personality and they'll grow out of needing so much contact

OneMoreCookieMonster · 31/08/2023 06:08

Swaddling definitely helps. Just coming out the other side of this. We used the SwaddleMe swaddle they are light weight and super stretchy. My dc started to roll on to his at around 9 wks so we had to transition to sleep sacks which was a challenge. Now he's discovered he has hands and a thumb. Sucking on them keeps him awake.

At around 10 weeks, mine started doing 4 hour stretches at night in his cot but still contact napped during the day. 13 wks now and it's 50/50 whether he will nap on me or be put down. Once down he will sleep anywhere from 10 mins to 1hr 30. It's just trying to get the consistency now.

They haven't learnt how to fall asleep on thier own yet and up til about 12 wks they haven't realised they aren't apart of you.

At night for the last few nights we've been super gently sleep training for lack of a better term. We put him down when he's been fed, changed and super drowsy. If he starts to chat and fuss we shush and pat/rub his chest and if it lasts for longer than 30 secs we pick him up and repeat. We don't let him get to the crying/meltdown stage. Think they're too young to be left crying at this age at bedtime. ( yes I know sometimes you have to leave them cry to tend to yourself) after 20mins last night he fell asleep in his cot and slept from 10.20 until 5.30. First time ever. Will repeat tonight to see if it's just a fluke

PurBal · 31/08/2023 07:19

@thelma57 having read your update: DC2 lives in a carrier during the day (the joys of having an older toddler). At home I use a stretchy wrap so I can pop him in and out but would recommend the ergobaby omni 360 if you prefer a structured carrier (which I like for out and about), it gives me peace of mind whilst I try to clamber up the slides 🤦‍♀️. We coslept for the first 6 weeks. Unlike PP I didn’t have success with the swaddle and DC is totally opposite: sucks on his hands to sleep. I thought he was hungry to begin with but he won’t usually let me feed him to sleep. All babies are different so it might take some time to work out what works for yours.

Original poster

thelma57 · 08/09/2023 05:20

Thanks all for the suggestions, I’ve been trying to put her down more regularly, shush for longer etc to try and keep her in the cot but she’s still not having it, she managed two hour long sleeps in there tonight but the rest of the time she’s been on me and cried as soon as I’ve tried to place her in the cot, stops as soon as she’s picked up - I’ve had 30 mins sleep and really worried about how I’m gonna cope when I can’t pass her over to DH in the early hours, he’ll have her for a couple of hours from 6ish so I can rest (he’s back at work on Monday).

Going to keep trying but god this is hard 😭

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atiredmomma · 09/02/2024 05:14

@thelma57
this is me right now, do you have any advice?

Clarebelle878 · 09/02/2024 05:36

Seconding the love to dream swaddles. Also we have found a white noise/ red light machine helps, especially at night.

My little one is 8 weeks old too and it is intense. Lovely to have the snuggles though.

Original poster

thelma57 · 09/02/2024 06:32

Hey @atiredmomma I’m afraid not! DD is 7 months now and still sleeps on my chest, I tried everything and my mental health was in the pits as I felt like I was failing and the sleep deprivation was making it unsafe. I refuse to sleep train so I looked into chest sleeping safely and here we are 😂

We have ditched the next to me and have a big cot side car not the bed now, will roll her in occasionally but she still has the same habits of not staying in there for long.

Cosleepy and happycosleeper on Instagram have some guidance!

I’m sure most babies grow out of it though! Good luck and look after yourself ❤️

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