Sleep regression and dream feed

[DaddyandDadda]

Hi all I'm hoping someone can help.

Our little one is now 15 weeks. Previously her sleep was quite good. She would have a full bottle (6 oz) at about 5/5.30. We would put her down at 7. Wake her at 10.30 for a dream feed that she would take asleep (typically 3 - 6 oz). She was doing amazingly at drinking this without waking and I thought we'd cracked it. She would then sleep till about 2.30 for her next bottle. Between 3 and 6/7 was always a bit unpredictable and she would stir a bit but it was ok. Once we put her dummy in she would sleep for an hour or so before stirring again.

The past 4 nights have not been good. We get her down at 7 but she will not take the dream feed at 10/10.30 pm at all. In trying to give it to her she then wakes up distressed. I tried moving it earlier/later and no difference. The previous 3 nights it then took me till after midnight to settle her again. She still won't take a bottle at any of this time. Last night she then woke at 2.30 ish, took about 4 oz and then stirred every 30 mins and needed settling till 6.

What is your advice, sleep seems to be getting worse. Should we drop the dream feed? Is it doing more harm than good as unsettles her? I didn't think i would be considering dropping the dream feed yet but i have no idea what is the right thing to do.

Any advice would be great. The lack of sleep is a killer!

I've never dream fed either if my children, just followed their lead. Was too scared of waking a sleeping baby 😂.

I'd just let them tell you when they are hungry?

A 1.5-2 hour gap between the bedtime bottle and bedtime seems counterproductive to getting through the night. If you want her in bed for 7 I’d feed at 6.45pm. Maybe 6.15 is she has bad reflux and needs 30 minutes upright post feed but that’s as long as I’d leave it. Then forget the dreamfeed, clearly she’s aware of being disturbed and it isn’t working- one of my DC was dreamfeed, the other wouldn’t stand for it beyond 4 months old. And hopefully by now doing a bedtime bottle you’ll get a longer first stretch of sleep. Then she’ll wake when hungry, hopefully take a full feed and sleep until morning 🤞🤞

Thanks for this, it’s incredibly useful. She has a feed at 2 then at 5 or 5.30 so would you suggest a top up at 6.15 to 6.45? Is that how you’d do it? Thanks

As PP said I would try and feed her closer to bedtime, it's a big gap between feed and bed!
And yeah try dropping the dreamfeed, she may just not want or need it now she's getting a little bigger.

Around this time DD dropped the dream feed so she would have 6:30 bottle, feed between 2-3am and then fed at 7am

How often does your LO feed?

I’d probably adjust all the feed timings tbh. You want a full feed before bed not a small top up if there’s any hope of getting a good long stretch of sleep. It sounds like your baby is more than capable of it too if she’s feeding at 5pm then rejecting a dreamfeed. So if you want the last bottle at 6.30ish then work backwards based on her usual frequency. Based on my 2 who I fed every 3 hours because I’m all about packing in the daytime calories, their feeds would be roughly: 6.30am, 9.30am, 12.30pm, 3.30pm, 6.30pm.

Thank you everyone for your advice yesterday. We ended up giving a small bottle at 5 pm to take the egde off then she took a full bottle at 6.45 pm before bed. She slept nicely from 7 pm until about 11 pm ish when she stirred and i had to settle her. She then woke up at 12.30 am. OH tried settling her but gave her a bottle in the end and she took a full 6 oz. She then slept till about 3 am then we disruptive, stirring every 30 or 40 mins until 5.30 am when OH gave up and got up with her. She took her morning bottle at about 6.30 am today.

Any advice as to what else to try? This was better but still nowhere near where we want to be! We said tonight we would try and push out the 12.30 am feed if we can to give us the best chance of a better 2nd half.

Thank you again!

Thanks for this. Posted above how we got on last night. Any advice would be really helpful! :)

Sleep changes a lot around the 4 month mark, this may just be one of those things you have to ride out. If you’re maximising the daytime calories and ensuring a big feed before bed then there’s not an awful lot else you can do. Sounds like you had a better night last night so I’d do the same again and hope for the best! Good luck.

@DaddyandDadda sounds like you had a better night! I would keep at it for a few days or a week to see how she gets on, she may just be adjusting that's all! There's also a sleep regression at around the 4 month mark which quite often makes their sleep go to shit for a little while (huge brain development time) but that normally sorts itself out.
It's probably a combination of the both so keep going :)
Do you use white noise?

Thanks for this.

Yes i suppose it was better but i was surprised she needed settling at 11 pm - i thought she would go longer. And was surprised we then had to give in with a bottle at 12.30 am. Would have been better if we'd gone to 2 am as i think that would then make the second half of the night better with less unsettled moments etc.

We are still swaddling her too. She did break one arm out last night and was fast asleep but when she needed resettling we had to reswaddle to get her settled again.

So our current feed schedule (or what we tried yesterday!) is roughly 7 am (6 oz), 10.30 am (6 oz), 2 pm (6 oz), 5 pm (3 oz), 6.45 pm (6 oz) and then 12.30 am (6 oz) which is when she woke. Would you suggest any changes to that?

thanks, commented below what we tried in terms of daytime calories. I wonder what mroe we should try?

Yes we are using white noise but it turns off after a while. We turn it back on when we are resettling her.

What you’re doing sounds fine! If she’ll take it, I might try feeding every 3 hours in order to get 2 full feeds in before bed. So 7, 10, 1, 4, 7. But obviously it has to fit around sleep too and if she doesn’t want it there’s not much you can do.

I don’t know about white noise as we never used it but she seems old to be swaddling. Is she showing any signs of rolling? Keep an eye out because if she is you need to stop immediately as it’s dangerous to keep them swaddled. That’s another tough transition to ride out, I remember it well! Overall though sleep doesn’t sound bad at all for not even 4 months. It’s probably one of those things that time will fix.

yes she took 3 oz at 5 pm and 6 oz at 6.45 pm so perhaps tonight we try say 4 oz at 4.30 pm to get more in her.

Any advice for swaddle transition? Perhaps we try this new routine for a couple more nights then start the swaddle transition. We have one of those slepeing bags with flaps that go across her her arms. You can swaddle one arm out at a time then both free. Then i imagine you move to a sleeping bag.