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Sleep

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Original poster

Newborn help! Clueless first time mum

22 replies

Blanch7474 · 23/08/2023 03:22

My newborn is 2 weeks old and was born at 37 weeks. All day he takes his naps in his moses no issues but as soon as night comes he will only sleep on mine or partners chest. Hes formula fed (milk never came in) and i'm too scared to co sleep (I have a memory foam mattress). I just want to know when other people's newborns started sleeping in their crib/moses at night. My partner goes back to work soon, and I will be the only one doing nights and I'm scared I'll fall asleep with him on me. I've tried white noise, dark room, hot water bottle in moses and I've tried just putting him back in when he's fallen asleep but no luck. I know he's still very young but I keep worrying this will be forever (irrational I know).

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alisonofagun · 23/08/2023 03:36

It won't be forever! We had a good 2-3 weeks of holding all night before baby would go in the crib. Have you tried putting something that smells of you in the crib? Wear a muslin down your top in the day and then tuck it in like a sheet and put him on it.

I read something about babies that contact nap in the day being better independent sleepers at night, because they've had their "fill" of contact already. Don't know how true it is but could be worth a try too?

Lillyvanilly · 23/08/2023 03:39

It's not forever. My little baby is 20 weeks old now. I think regardless of sleep in the day, my DC was up 3 times each for an hour or so up until 10 weeks.. I promise it'll get easier. Just writing this makes me feel all sorts of emotion and love because not long ago it was me writing what you are writing. Enjoy these precious, but tiring, but fleeting moments xxx

newmama311 · 23/08/2023 04:05

Hi new mama. I ended up having to co sleep for a similar reason. At 1 months old-ish, I didn't want it to last any longer for the fears involved so I 'weaned' us out of co sleeping with a 'Rockit' attached to the Moses basket, would put her down put the rockit on and she would feel like she's being rocked I guess by an adult; and would stay asleep for 2-3 hours at a time that way. I only had to use this for a week or so, at which point she was used to the Moses feel, smells etc.

She hated the next to me crib when she was small, so went for a Moses by the bed. If I had more babies I would go for Moses by the bed when tiny then onto a good quality travel cot when bigger.

newmama311 · 23/08/2023 04:05

The rockit stayed on for around 30 mins max I think, very gentle rocking

AndrewGarfieldsLaptop · 23/08/2023 04:59

We used the rockit too

Glendaruel · 23/08/2023 05:07

My first was like that. Have a Google of the 4th trimester, it helps make sense of it. Mine slowly improved and slept in her next to me crib. No great tricks to share, just giving her time to feel secure in this world. It doesn't make it easy for you, it's so hard going. I'm sitting here with my 2nd who is completely different and confused us by happily lying in her cot.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 23/08/2023 05:11

3 weeks PP here with no2 who's currently sleeping in my arms . She's exactly the same. My first was also like this. It does get better!

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 23/08/2023 05:25

I think 8wks? She's now 15 wks and contact naps in day, crib at night

OneMoreCookieMonster · 23/08/2023 05:50

My baby was the same and we are only now just, and I mean just. When we were in the hospital after birth. The midwives made a nest for baby with a rolled up towel under the sheet (fitted at home ) ds was also a 37 weeker. It worked beautifully. Baby felt safe, snug and secure.

Also, if you're not already try swaddling. I can't recommend the newborn SwaddleMe enough. It's lightweight, super stretchy and snug.

Also, make sure there aren't any drafts he could be feeling. Baby is used to being somewhere that's 37c

All babies but especially so new like and need that security and warmth of being surrounded.

Good luck

Oh and fwiw, I fucking hated and still do (getting up multiple times in the might) when someone tells ypubits only for a short period of time. Sleep deprivation is real and is such blow to your mental and physical health especially when healing. Try to nap when baby foes and leave the chores to dh.

Bootoagoose123 · 23/08/2023 06:21

My baby was just the same! What worked for me was a good velcro swaddle and then the white noise and darkness - but this was after a couple of weeks of doing shifts holding her all night so I know exactly how you feel!

Moonrising · 23/08/2023 06:26

Mine was the same. Would not sleep in the cot at night but as soon as daytime came he would sleep in it! He only slept in his cot at night from 10 weeks ish. My tips are to sleep a little in the day when they are sleeping, and do shifts with your partner at night.

Angelik · 23/08/2023 06:35

For me it was taking the time at initial vestige (whenever that is) to sit with them, touching them so they were reassured. Can take a few weeks and all babies "regress" to previous behaviours at points. But it largely worked.

I suggest you go to bed early too and if bottle feeding (if breast, plan to express a few ounces each day) that your DH does the late night one so you can get a 3-5 hr sleep stretch.

Anonnewbie · 23/08/2023 19:44

I have a 5 week old and nothing helpful to say except mine won't sleep without contact at all any time day or night, except every now and then if he's so deeply asleep we can sneak him into his moses basket, but he always wakes up and screams after 10-60 minutes.
I am cosleeping because I was just falling asleep wherever I was after a while which wasn't safe. Even then moving him onto his back next to me rather than his side squashed up with me is a risky business and always causes him to wake up sooner.

Prior to cosleeping (which happened when DH went back t ok work, we took turns on the sofa with him and I got to feel quite awake during my shift of 2am til whenever I was ready to break after a 3-6 hour sleep earlier on. I go to bed at any time from 7pm when I get the opportunity and leave baby with husband.

People keep saying it's normal don't worry but firstly that doesn't solve how to keep everyone safe and rested, and secondly you do feel like it must be forming habits, I've become obsessed with advice but none of it has worked or is relevant (people saying oh just let him sleep in the pram is particularly annoying - he sees the pram as a bassinet and reacts the same way if not worse so that's no help at all.)

I am starting to think I am just going to get through however I can including cosleeping and contact naps and worry about changing habits in a couple of months. It's just too stressful to try to follow all the conflicting advice!

Original poster

Blanch7474 · 23/08/2023 20:45

I will defo give this a go! I've put a muslin that I've worn all day in there and got the white noise ready and contact napped a few times today so fingers crossed!!

OP posts:

Avatartar · 23/08/2023 20:49

Also a hot water bottle to warm the Moses basket up ( remove before baby goes in

Original poster

Blanch7474 · 23/08/2023 20:52

Thanks all, just reading all of these and knowing I'm not alone and its not forever massively helps I'll be trying some of these tips tonight and see how we get on but we are taking shifts for the now until he's ready to use his crib ❤️

OP posts:

Original poster

Blanch7474 · 07/09/2023 21:37

Just an update. It's week 4 and he's still purely contact napping however we now think this is due to him having silent reflux and being on his back is just a huge no now as the minute we lay him down, acid comes up and he is awake and in pain. My partner is now back at work so it's becoming much harder to cope with lack of sleep but we are going to keep trying to put him down in his pram or crib where we can.

Things we have tried :

Hot water bottle
Putting him down asleep
Putting him down awake but drowsy
Dummy
Swaddle
Shushing/rocking
Rockit
White noise
Infacol

Lastly we realised it was always after feeds he was the most uncomfortable and after a lot of consideration and talking we switched him to lactose free formula and so far he's a much calmer baby and the reflux has eased a lot (not completely) and just as we thought we might get him down ... the heatwave hit.

We have a private appointment with pediatrics next week to check what may be causing the issues (he was born with dialated kidneys and a tongue tie) and fingers crossed things improve.

OP posts:

Gremlins101 · 07/09/2023 22:34

Don't worry OP! It will get easier much sooner. Try to rest up in the daytime, so you're ready for the night activities. But also make sure your baby gets plenty of daylight, as it will help him to learn the difference between night and day (without overstimulating him of course). Honestly, it will pass! I was like a yoyo for a few weeks with my babies.

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 08/09/2023 09:25

Have you inclined the crib? To give you hope - I replied upthread saying our little one did eventually sleep in her crib. Now at 16wks she also sleeps in her pram bassinet!

Original poster

Blanch7474 · 08/09/2023 14:49

We were told not to, but I really think its going to be the only way. How did you incline it? We have a next to me and I've seen people mention a wedge Before?

OP posts:

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 08/09/2023 20:51

@Blanch7474 our tutti Bambini next to me has an option to have a 2 notch difference between each end!

jolaylasofia · 08/09/2023 20:54

mine didn't sleep in his crib at all and we coslept. He's still in with us at 20 months. haven't even bought him a bed yet 🥴

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