Stressed out - 4 week old won't settle to sleep

[PecanNut00]

Our 4 week old baby is struggling to settle to sleep every time. As soon as we see her sleep cues, we start to try and settle her with swaddle, dark room, swaying/bouncing side to side, white noise. But it can take over an hour to settle her so by that point, she exhausted and any attempt of a schedule is abandoned. It's not hunger because she feeds loads to the point where she rejects the breast when finished. At night, she sleeps well when finally settled. It's definitely worse during the day. We've spent a small fortune on different swaddle blankets and suits, we probably have one of every kind at this stage... I'm tempted to try a dummy but my husband is reluctant. Does anyone else have any other ideas? I'm so stressed!

Have you tried holding, rocking? At 4 weeks a baby will just want to sleep on you. Way too early for schedules.

Only thing that worked for my 2 was to put them in a sling and let them fall asleep on me.
It's hard work in the early days but trying to get them to sleep in a cot was just too stressful. They want to be held so if you can go with the flow for contact naps then I would.
Nighttime is different but neither of mine wanted to be in their next to me so we ended up co-sleeping.
It does get easier the older the get but the first few months are always tough

Mine just fell asleep on the boob at that age, is that an option? They also never liked the swaddle, they're all different and what works for one baby doesn't work for another. A soft sling and then gentle jiggling also did it - once they're asleep you can gently sit back down.

She's too tiny for a routine, and babies always like being with a nice warm person rather than in a bed in the dark, don't they?

They do pick up on stress - go for a walk with her in the sling, sing a song, do some deep breathing - it can get in a spiral where your distress feeds the baby's distress which feeds your distress. Deep breath and believe she will sleep, buying stuff doesn't really help ime.

Does your baby fall asleep when you feed them? Generally our baby falls asleep while feeding then I just take the opportunity to carefully put her in the cot without waking her up and then she will sleep for a fair while. We don’t follow any schedule we just let her sleep when she goes to sleep. She’s 7 weeks old at the moment.

Go for the dummy 👍🏼

Your baby’s sleep sterns change over time and at 4 weeks it’s normal to be more wakeful. I would try holding close as much as possible - a sling that either of you can wear is good.
Your baby may want to feed more too so suck more to increase supply.
I would try to relax as you can think you have a routine and your baby changes and you no longer have one that works any more.

Thank you everyone, it's really reassuring to hear that I shouldn't be aiming for a perfect schedule or anything. Hopefully it will get easier eventually.

You can't schedule a 4 week old. Abandon that idea until at least 4 months.

If she's fussy and not hungry just cuddle her, pat her bum, sway/rock - it doesn't have to be in a dark room, you can watch TV while she naps! A dummy is fine too.

Don't you just feed them to sleep at this age?

Some people do but I didn't.