14 week old baby waking every 2 hours during night - any advice?

[lilipup]

Hi. My bf 14 week old dd2 goes to bed around 7ish every night, sometimes fed to sleep but sometimes awake, and goes to sleep fine. usually then sleeps to anywhere between 10 and 1-ish, although recently, waking mostly between 10 and 11pm. thereafter, waking every 2 hours for the rest of the night. needless to say, i'm knackered! she's in the cot just next to my bed, so i stagger out in the dark, feed her and plonk her back in, so usually pretty quick and we both get back to sleep fairly quickly. however, i still feel knackered in the morning after a night of broken sleep. wondering if she is having a growth spurt as well. she feeds roughly every couple of hours during the day too, although i think she actually drinks more during the night, and not sure what i can do about that at all, if i'm offering her food during the day but she just nibbles. try to feed her at night before she starts crying, as know from experience she'll settle quicker that way, and can't be bothered trying to wait it out for half an hour or so, as then not getting any sleep either!

is this amount of waking quite common at this age? does anyone have any tips on how to get her to sleep for longer? am contemplating giving her a formula top up in the evenings just to try to get her to sleep for longer, although don't want to faff around with bottles etc. and reluctant obviously to interfere with my milk production.

I think it's common, judging from my experience with my three children.

What I would suggest is:

Let her sleep with you so you don't even have to get out of bed to feed her, just roll over, put her on, keep on dozing. Makes it soooooooooooooo much easier. And don't look at the time! I often didn't remember in the morning when and how often I was woken up.

It is a phase and it will get better!

completely forgot to mention, she has, what i presume to be, colic, and is just starting to come out of it over the past few weeks. (she has been unsettled most of the time she has been awake since birth for the first 11-ish weeks). so i guess i wonder if colicky babies are more prone to frequent night waking. i still have a suspicion she might have a bit of silent reflux, but not diagnosed for this as yet (got a specialist appt on 14 March).

hi emkana, thanks for that, reassuring. i did sleep with her for the first 7 weeks to be honest, as she was so unsettled, and wouldn't sleep on her own, and i fed her as you say, just rolling over - however, such a relief to get her into her cot that i'm reluctant to go down that path again!

My little DD is 16 weeks old and is now sleeping through. I managed it by feeding her practically all evening which got me down understandably, but now give her 4oz of breast milk expressed from the morning. This really gives her a great boost and goes to bed happy and awake (although this has only just happened that she can get herself off to sleep).

Previous to this she had 1 or 2 feeds from 10 until 7 in the morning. Quite common for breast feed babies. Her second feed was always exactly (!) 2 hours after her first feed. In the day she can feed anything up to every 2 hours. Only this week is she starting to have 3 hourly sleeps in the day

My DD wont take formula milk, so expressing is my only option, but sterilising is not a problem.

Forgot to add, my DS had a bottle of formula at night too at 10. It didn't mess around with my milk supply until i gave another bottle for lunch when he was 5 months. That was when i started to dry up.

My ds sounds exactly the same - now 5 months old. Last night for first time he woke only 3 times - once at 8.30, midnight and 3am. I didn't feed him first time and he slept longer than he has done. (almost always been 2hrly except first stretch which can be 3-3.5hrs). Not expecting it to happen again (though would be lovely) but can sympathise in how exhausting it is. I'm coming round to thinking he doesn't actually need milk that often over night and it is a comfort thing. Am thinking that there are other ways to comfort him though feeding him is easiest and most attractive at 3am...

Please don't worry and although you should feel free to give formula if YOU want, never give it unless you really want to.

It is quite normal fro a 14 week old baby to wake like this. We seem to be losing (as a society) a wide view of the range of normality of babies (due IMO to baby guru's and the like) and often end up feeling like failures if our perfectly normal babies don't conform.

The important points aren'tab out what a tinyy of 14 weeks old does, but whether you get enough support and sleep- try to find ways to fit around your baby- co-sleeping fore xample works for some, or whatever. Knowing most of all that your baby is normal and that in what will seem like a flash you'll wake up and she's 15 and out with her amtes and you are yearning for the days she was safe in her cot LOL- as I am fast learning with DS1! (only 8 but thinks he's 45)

Take care of yourself, congrats on your baby and don't try to make them grow up too fast- there's no need.

Hey Lilipup,
Think we talked before on a previous thread. My ds is 14 1/2 weeks now and has just started waking more in the night again. He also seems to eat more in the night than in the day. I think this is partly because he is more relaxed and sleepy. I actually have been quite worried because I can barely get him to eat for more than 5 minutes in the day before he starts squirming and then bobbing on and off the breast. I try to wind him but he hates it and just seems uncomfortable. I still think he has silent reflux but the doctors and health visitors don't seem concerned because he is still gaining weight and they just right it off as colic!! Anyway he tends to wake at 11.00, 1.30 and 4.30. It is axhausting isn't it?

Peachy is dead right.
Lol at 8 year old who thinks he's 45!

I sometimes wonder if people who say just to carry on, it'll work itself out in time remember how exhausting it is not having more that 1 1/2 -2 hrs sleep at a time for several months? Sometimes I think it's better for ds to have more sleep too - a rested baby and mother sounds good! I guess just have to work out what suits you and don't feel guilty if you can't function on so little sleep and decide to try and change the pattern

krc actually i do know- 2 of mine are disabled and don't sleep, plus I am 8 mnths pg and not sleeping through that (also have one great sleeper- phew!), I know what you mean though- that's why it's important (and I feel ic ans ay this with extended experience) to try and find ways around the problem that don't necessarily involve changing what you maybe cannot, but finding ways to adapt to a new and different situation. Sleep during the day is the most obvious, though of course a challenge if you have older children. Try putting the baby with you, or in their own room if that doesn't help, or- whatever you feel might just work for you.

Hi Lilipup,

This is EXACTLY what was happening with my ds who is now 18 weeks. From about 13 weeks he went from feeding every 3 hrs at night to every 2 hrs. I got to the end of my tether last week and decided to follow The Baby Whisperer advice and cut out night feeds altogether and get him on a 4 hourly routine in the day.

The first night I still fed him once at 3am as I could not believe he did not need it, but when he still only snacked at 7am I realised he could go without a night feed. Since then (5 days ago) I have not fed him between 10pm and 7am. When he wakes, I do PU/PD (see Baby Whisperer for this technique) and shhhh him and he goes back to sleep - sometimes it takes 5 mins, sometimes 20 mins. Last night he only woke twice. He also now feeds really well during the day and the last feed I give him is at 10pm.

I am also trying very hard to structure his day naps too which are meant to help with the night time.

I used this same technique with my dd when she was about 7 months old and she went from being a terrible sleeper to the best I could ever wish for.

I realise your dd is only 14 weeks old and may still need some night feeding but just wanted to let you know what seems to be working for me.

I have to agree with KRC on this. It's all well and good if you can sleep when your baby does - but what if your baby never sleeps? My DS has three naps in the day but unless I sit and rock him throughout he won't sleep longer than 20mins. So, I can't sleep then. Last night he went to sleep at 8.30pm (after trying to get him to go to bed from 6.30pm with the usual bath-massage-boob routine). This gave me enough time to have something to eat, digest it a bit and be in bed by 10pm. He woke up then at 10.50pm, 12.30am, 1.30am, 3am, 4am, 5am and 6am.

I tried co-sleeping and got a trapped nerve as a result of sleeping in one position for extended periods of time and when I do bring him into bed now (as I did last night) he thrashes about and sleeps with arms out wide, so either giving me no room to sleep, or constantly waking me up. Or I wake up with a dead arm and pins and needles because of the trapped nerve in my shoulder.

So it's not always possible to fit your sleeping around the baby - basically, I haven't had more than 3 hours sleep a night for 4 months and it's not for the want of trying!

I do want my DS to evolve at his own pace and don't try to make him to fit around my life - I put my life completely on hold for him during this time, used a sling, never let him cry, bf, everything - but on the other hand I have trouble seeing straight, have dizzy spells, a constant cold, cold sores, persistent headaches and a trapped nerve as a result! And as for a social life... or, in fact, any kind of a life...It's bloody awful.

Sorry to rant - just had another one of those really horrid nights.

rant away it is very tough
gecko still wakes up 1 to 3 hours all night
she is 12 motnhs
dd2 didnt sleepthrough til AFTER gecko was born

I haven't had more than 3 hours straight for nearly three years

oh god, you poor, poor thing. How on earth do you cope? I don't think I can take another 3 months of this, let alone 3 years!

gosh, don't know how i coped before mumsnet, you are all great! def feel better knowing i'm not alone on this. i can't sleep during the day even if dd2 did have good naps, which she doesn't - occasionally will sleep in her cot if really knackered in the afternoon, but apart from that, falls asleep on my shoulder, or whilst sucking as i lie beside her, for about 20 mins! and the reason why i'm not 100% happy with 2hr feeds during the night is that dd1 was great at sleeping from really early on, and even dd2 was sleeping not too badly until about 2 weeks ago, usually waking 2 or 3 times max. also (massive OTHER issue but not for here), we have a problem neighbour's dog barking behind our bedroom windows, which this morning ended my night's sleep at 5am, so really desperate most nights to get whatever sleep i can. might give the baby whisperer approach a try hillbilly, thanks for that, although usually give in to a feed when half asleep! sufi, bloody hell, my sympathies - puts my lo in perspective. one thing i have learnt from dd1 though, and i guess i should take my own advise, most things babies do are phases, which sooner or later will pass. lateasusual, hi, i'll let you know how my specialist appt goes on 14 march, as i reckon dd2 has silent reflux too, but has been getting better of late.

isn't 3-4 months a classic growth spurt time? They may just be boosting your supply? I read loads of threads here about this. Lots of people said theirs settle down again after a few week.

lilipup, my 18 week old still feeds at least every 2 hours in the night, often more.
last night was every hour, so am knackered today lol
It is normal, there are a LOT of babies that do this. just as there are plenty that don't seem to.

I was thinking about it the other day, and I actually have a problem with people who say "they don't need feeding, it's just for comfort"
well, IMO, comfort is a very important thing for your baby, and if the only way he is truly comforted is by feeding then that's what I will do for mine. saying a baby doesn't "need"a night feed is like saying that comforting your baby and reassuring him that you are always there for him is not necessary.

that isn't a slight on anyone on the thread btw, have only brielfly skimmed it, just something I was thinking about the other day. and something a lot of people have said to me when I mention ds's nighttime habits.

I don't think that how you feed your baby has ANY effect on their sleep either. I have a friend whose baby is FF and she is exactly the same as ds2. and my first was breastfed and sleeping through by 12 weeks.
It depends on the baby, not the feeding. so switching to formula won't necessarily make a difference.
can you express so that your dh/dp could give one of the night feeds thus making sure you get a bit longer?

thanks, herecomes and lilipup - not as bad a night last night, thank god, and i even managed to get him back to sleep one time without feeding and only a tiny bit of grumbling (am a week into the No Cry Sleep Solution and he woke up 15 mins after a big feed), which is a real achievement with my DS!

Sorry for rant about co-sleeping, it did work for me until DS got bigger and my shoulder got knackered. It's just a shame that it's not an option for me any more.

as for help from DH, he's doing his best but his feeling is that i should stop bf so that we can share night feeds. he means well but i was in floods of tears yesterday at the thought ... but there's a whole other thread in that one!

fingerwoman, i def see what you saying about babies needing comfort etc. - as with other comments on this thread though, i guess it depends on how much the mum can stand, as an unhappy knackered mum is not going to be good for a baby or family. i'm so impressed with some of the people on this thread including you who can tolerate doing this for their babies and still stay sane! and it is amazing what you get used to - if someone had told me a couple of months ago that dd2 would still have colic at nearly 15 weeks, i would have thrown myself off a bridge, but getting used to the crying now (it is less than it used to be), and I guess getting used to the waking up frequently at night, although with the hope that it will pass soon. i find it really hard to express tbh, physically and in terms of finding the time with a toddler too, and dh works ft and does help a lot in general, but i guess if really driven to it could do what you suggest a bit further down the line.

well, i don't know about staying sane lol. I do a lot of crazy things atm in my sleep-deprived haze.
also have a toddler and end up getting cross with him over things that I shouldn't.
it can and is tough on all the family, but I guess I just think about the fact that he can't help it. he isn't waking up on purpose, or for the fun of it- he needs me and I need to be there for him.
that said, if he would take a bottle I would definitely be getting dh to do a couple of night feeds, even if it was just once a week so that I could get a longer stretch.

how old is your toddler? do you have any other help around? I am lucky that ds1 goes to pre-school twice a week, and if I can get ds2 to have a nap I can sometimes ahve 40 winks then. or at least have a rest on the sofa.
I also have a lovely, lovely friend who will take ds1 swimming and stuff so that I can rest a bit.
a good support network is a tremendous help

the other thing that I found helpful was harvey karps book, the happiest baby on the block. It's about colic and stuff, and does focus more on smaller babies, but it gives some good explanations, or ideas, on why babies cry.
It really helped me "sympathise" (for want of a better word) with how ds2 may be feeling and what he was trying to communicate to me. I definitely felt less like throwing him out of the window after reading it

superb, sounds like the book i need to read then! someone said to me recently that its easy to love, but hard to like - and i have felt like that with dd2 at some times over the past few months, which i am horrified at admitting, but when a baby is screaming in your face no matter what you do to try to get it to stop, i think it is really hard to feel overflowing love at those moments! toddler is 2yrs and 2 months, absolute star i should add, placid baby, and lovely thoughtful good little girl, so no trouble at all really, although hard to respond to both her demands and dd2 at times, particularly when dd2 just wants to sit at my boob for an afternoon. dd1 in nursery 2 days a week though, so gives dd2 amd me the chance to chill by ourselves. i too have felt really horrible about myself recently when losing rag at dd1 when really it is because i am on the edge with dd2 crying - but tell myself i am only human. someone else told me that if children grew up with the "perfect" mother who never yelled, showed emotions etc, they would find it hard to cope with everyday life and would have an android as a mum, so that's comforting to think about too!