We are having a really tough time getting DS2 to sleep. When he was a few weeks old he used to sort of self settle and he only woke up once for a feed (EBF) and went back down no problem. We’ve used heavy thunderstorm white noise since he was a few days old. He slept in blankets at first and sleeping bags as soon as he was big enough for them except when it’s too hot.
Everything changed when he was about a month old because he got a snotty nose. That meant that he woke up a bit more and was much harder to settle for the rest of the night. I would pick him up and get him to sleep then he would start struggling to breathe and wake up again as soon as I put him down. I tried to help him by tilting his mattress with blankets underneath it and we put a humidifier in the room. That all settled down and we have had a stint or two since then when he went back to just one wake up and he even slept through once but for the most part ever since he’s been much more unsettled.
At the end of June (nearly 3 months old) we started putting him to bed early (8:30/9ish) instead of keeping him downstairs with us. We put him down by feeding to sleep which he kind of resists. When we kept him with us before that we would get him to sleep when he seemed ready for it and put him in his bouncy chair while we watched TV. Eventually we would get ready for bed and he would have a dreamfeed in our bed before we put him down for the night. The evenings since we started putting him down early have been very mixed. Sometimes he sleeps for a few hours, others for one sleep cycle and sometimes he’s awake a few minutes after we get back downstairs. Sometimes he’ll settle and go back down with a cuddle, other times I put him back on the boob. And then we repeat as needed until we’re ready to go to bed.
When we started to have more trouble we tried putting him in the cot in his room for the evening because he seems to like to have his arms straight out so we thought he might do better with more space. That hasn’t made a difference but we still put him in there and move him into our room when we go to bed so that he used to sleeping in there.
Things have now gone from bad to worse. I used to think that given time he would get used to the procedure and maybe he will but how much time? We’ve now reached the point where the only way there’s a chance of him staying down for any length of time is if he feeds to sleep but even that doesn’t always work. Regardless of how we get him to sleep the vast majority of times he wakes and starts crying before we even put him down. I swear he can read my mind because he starts squirming as soon as I even consider putting him down.
And now this continues through the night too. We’ve just had a weekend away, DP was away at a festival so my mum and I took the the kids to her sister’s. We spent the first night at my mum’s and he did a good 2 hours in the evening which was lovely and made my mum think I was making all of this up! Then we woke twice for a feed in the night and another two times when I managed to settle him easily. The second feed was a funny though because he woke up when I put him down but wasn’t unhappy then he pooed. So I sorted that and put him back on the boob and then he pooed again. I sorted that and just lay him next to me wide awake for what little of the night remained and we both fell asleep again. So that was a reasonably good night. Every night at my aunty’s was hell. My mum and I both tried to settle him again and again but he was having none of it so I ended up cosleeping more each night which I never wanted to do. I feebly hoped that part of the trouble was being in a strange place but the first night back home was the same except I had DP to help a bit.
Naps are also a disaster. Contact naps only and if he’s put down he might sleep for a bit but not long enough. He does sometimes sleep in the pram while out but it’s not reliable. And he sleeps in the car if the journey is long enough. Our routine is okish, I’m working on tightening that up. And I’m giving in to the contact/sling naps for now just to make sure he gets enough rest during the day.
This whole situation has thrown me completely because it turns out that DS1 was an angel baby when it came to sleep. The biggest problem we had was that he would not nap in the house for longer than one sleep cycle until about 7 ½ months. That no longer seems like a problem to me! And nothing has ever bothered his night time sleep. At 11 weeks he slept all evening in the living room despite whatever was going on a round him so the next night we put him to bed at 8:30 and he’s slept every evening since. He was sleeping through after a dreamfeed at about 5 ½ months. I started with feeding him to sleep but we just evolved away from that. He’s 2 years 9 ½ months now and still sleeps really well. His routine also just came about naturally.
So I’m thinking of chaining myself and DS2 to the house for a few weeks and trying pick up/put down. I’ve bought The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems and I’m working through the relevant chapters, I want to be completely sure I know what to do before we start.
Does anyone have any experience with anything that relates to our situation? Particularly to the execution of PU/PD? Any other ideas?
I feel like I’ve failed him.
As I type he’s just woken up screaming from his afternoon nap after one sleep cycle. He’s napping on his dad. I pushed him to nearly 2 hours this morning in the sling.
Sorry for the info dump.