Baby and toddler sleep issue

[prayforthecottransfer]

My 8 month old still wakes a lot in the night to bf. He was able to confidently pull himself up at 6.5 months so we needed to lower his cot. He was already out of the next to me as he was crawling well at 5 months.

At the moment, he starts the night in his bedroom cot and comes into us at about midnight when he wakes for a feed. He doesn't seem to like the travel cot in our room, so more often than not sleeps with us in bed. DH thinks we need to be getting him back into his own cot at night (he will only ever, ever settle for me, so I never wake DH because there's no reason to). It seems like it'd be a lot of hard work going back and forth between his room all night. It isn't big enough to house a rocking chair so it's easier for me for him to just help himself in the night. It does get chilly without the blankets on but he's going through major separation anxiety too. I just don't want the battle!

Toddler issue next! She's 3 and always slept well and self settled. However, she's started refusing to go to bed or sleep unless one of us is on her bedroom floor. I try to take turns where I can but if the baby cries out, I have to go to him since he won't stop crying unless it's me. Tonight though, she's woken up absolutely screaming and screaming, sobbing when she's realised we were nowhere to be seen, hours after going to bed. Woken baby too. She's also asking for me and shouting at her dad to go away as she wants me. By this point, baby is bf.I stop him after a few minutes to swap with DH. She settles and baby is now screaming for me. I then need to swap back after another few minutes, cue toddler tears.

We're trying desperately to juggle both sleep issues but I think the toddler one is the one that needs to be tackled first. DH is spending too many nights on her bedroom floor and it's getting out of hand. Just don't know what to do!

Hi there, op this sounds a really hard situation and i'm sure you've tried so many things. With your baby, I would try an 11pm 'dream feed', before your child wakes agitated and hungry. I'd say it's really important to make sure you give a really full feed early in the night and despite sometimes even hospitals saying a bf baby didnt need burping, mine always have. Otherwise they'd be awake an hour later. So don't let baby fall asleep on you. Tickle ears, tickle feet so baby finishes the feeds. Offer both breasts and I offer first breast again. It might take a few days to increase supply if you're not used to feeding at this time. I think I used to annoy my babies trying to keep them awake along as possible to give them this long feed and wind. Make sure baby is awake when you put them down in the cot to self-settle. I honestly wouldn't bring baby back in with you. It might seem painful for a couple of weeks as you'll be uncomfortable going back and forth, but you will disrupt babies sleep at this age and it will take longer to get them sleeping through.

At 8 months, a common reason babies don't sleep through the night is not enough protein at lunchtime. So hummous, beans, meat, fish etc is important. Too late in the day can cause tummy issues at night.

Later in the night at this age, I gave my children water to stop them wanting feed after feed, they didnt wsnt this! First bf of day 6am. So e.g. if they woke at 5.30, they'd have water. I gradually moved the water back. Do first day 5.30-6 water then feed at 6. Then from 5, 4.30 etc. Until I got to the 11pm bf Soon babies learnt it just wasn't worth waking for water. Not as comforting and as they were hungrier on the daytime feeds because they havent had feeds all night, they'd have much longer feeds at 6am and eat more daytime food.

Make sure room is dark etc etc and add extra blanket in middle of night if temperature drop. if baby wakes at 5am-ish they're often cold.

With your 3yo, I'd say don't sleep on the floor ever (unless ill). She's reacting to baby and competing for attention. I know 2 parents of 7 year olds that still do this! It will be hard, but I'd tackle it with having a chat with her and talking about her being such an amazing grown up big sister etc. I know you can show baby how to sleep without a fuss. That kknd of thing. You'll know what motivates your child. Do a reward chart just for sleep and if she doesn't make a fuss, give her sooooo much praise and work towards a reward. One night through without a fuss and she gets... doesn't have to be expensive. Just something she loves. Trip to certain park, etc. Baby has no idea what's going on so when she does well, say to baby within earshot but not to her in a sing songy voice 'oooh dc3 was so clever last night, she didn't make a fuss at all! I am so proud of her. I wonder when you'll be clever enough to be like this?' So she's really getting the attention and praise she's craving.

Well, there's probably a thousand more things you can try (I only used red lights during bf/ wakings so melatonin wasn't affected) etc. But try these and also generally Google "little ones" for advice. Not affiliated to them in any way, but I've followed their sleep programme from birth and had 1 bf child sleeping through at 3 months and second, very hungry 99th centile bf child at 8 months with a lot of the above tactics. The programme focuses on getting daytime naps right and not too early in the day (12-2ish lunchtime nap I think), so they settle at night. Hope something I've written helps and good luck!

You need to let your husband deal with one, they might not settle now but a few nights of only him and they will. Short term pain for long term gain.

I’d feed the baby in their room then settle back down in there without bringing them into your bed.