18mo doesn't sleep, what am I doing wrong?

[AmilyChestnut]

My baby didn't sleep for the first 4 months of his life as he always had a blocked nose, once he got over that he would wake every few hours for a feed. We settled into a routine.

The last few weeks he is refusing to go to sleep. He would generally be in bed 5.30 until 5.30 next day, next to my bed or in bed with me.

Now he refuses to settle and go to sleep, I've tried making bedtime later but it's getting to the point where he point blank refuses and is staying up, and I'm going to bed at about 9 with him so he will sleep, meaning I get no time alone. I also have 2 other children, a dog and partner (who is fab, but I've always done bed time for consistency as he works away a few nights a week)

I wont do cry it out or leave baby to go to sleep alone as that's not my parenting style. I love laying with him whilst he goes to sleep, but I can't understand why he doesn't want to sleep now!

He can wake in the night for party time too, and refuse to go back to sleep for up to an hour.

Can anyone give me some tips please! I'm exhausted.

Is he still napping?

5.30 is a very early bedtime.

I had a toddler who didn't sleep either. He's now a teen that doesn't sleep. Find a way to manage for now. You aren't very far off a time where you can tell them they don't need to sleep, but they do need to let others sleep. That was the game changer for us, well, that and baby 2 arriving. Toddler duties got passed solely to DH, while i got to feed a newborn. The amount if sleep I got improved dramatically the day he was born!!!

Yes he still napping, between 11 and 12 he will go down, but only if he wants to..

I understand 5.30 is early, but as he is an early riser either way it made sense to put him to bed early. That's no longer working, so we are trying new times but he doesn't want to go down.

My eldest son didn't ever get into a routine, and was very wild, similar to my toddler, and he has adhd. I wonder if my toddler is showing traits too.

Toddler shares our room, and will for the foreseeable

Both mine dropped naps at 18 months so maybe that would help?

5.30 is ridiculously early for bed time though. Some kids just need less sleep - forcing them to be in bed is not going to change that, it just results in tantrums etc.
One of mine slept beautifully, the other always woke at 5am regardless of bedtime. There was no change with dropping naps either. So it made sense to at least do bedtime at about 7.30 with less of a fight.

I think my problem is come the evening I'm absolutely wiped out. I will try a later bedtime, about 7 and see if that makes any difference.

Does he nap?

DS is 21mo and it varies a bit but as an example, generally he does:

Up at 6:30/7ish
Nap 11-1ish
Bed time usually 8pm

Not all kids need 12hrs sleep every night, I think it's a range of about 11-14hrs out of 24 that most kids need at this sort of age. Lyndsey Hookway on instagram has good info.

DS has been up at 5:30am a couple of times this week so we made nap time a bit earlier (10:30-12:30) and he went to bed about 7:30pm. There's absolutely no way I'd be able to get him to bed at 5:30pm!

I'm not sure why, but I had it in my head that he needed 12 hours! Thank you for this info

I have an 18mo he doesn’t go to bed till at least 7.30. Also no naps in the day he just refuses. 5.30 is a very very early bedtime. That is most people’s tea time

Try dropping his nap as well as a later bedtime. .also try introducing a bedtime routine that stays consistent, if he is showing signs of possible ADHD then a routine and sticking with it will help.
My child is a 5am waker and now bedtime is half 8 before it was half 7. Just getting older and needing less sleep.

We went for a walk about 7 with the baby, got home 8ish and he was still awake. Put him to bed well prepared for it to be unsuccessful but he only wriggled around for 10 minutes then flat out. Successful transfer into cot 👍 thank you for all the advice everyone, I guess 8 pm is the new bed time