Will a sleep consultant be able to help 3 year old sleep

[Gastonimo]

Looking for advice on whether a sleep consultant will be able to help my DS (3 next month).
I have read every sleep aid out there, created a routine, white noise, consistent approach etc etc but nothing seems to work.

DS can take an hour and half to go to sleep. I put him to bed, say goodnight, leave the room. Then he will just continue to get out of bed asking for a drink, a Teddy, my pillow, basically anything he can think of. I return him to bed, with minimal engagement and repeat for hour plus until he eventually goes to sleep. If I leave him and don't respond he will scream and cry (I have an older child who gets disturbed). I've had to put a stairgate on his door as he was running into older DS room and banging his door.

Then the process repeats at about 11pm when he wakes and then 2.30am and then he'll be up at 6am for the day. We have a groclock and he'll just shout to say the sun's not awake.

I've cut out naps where possible (sometimes unavoidable if driving)

I've tried reward charts to no avail. And in general his behaviour is challenging throughout the day as he's clearly tired.

It's been almost 3 years and I think he's slept for a decent chunk maybe 5 times in his life.

I'm exhausted, the whole house is exhausted. We've just sat and cried at each other this morning as we're so tired.

I'd pay for a sleep consultant but I just don't know what they'd be able to tell me that i haven't read or tried yet. Do you think it's worth it?

It might be worth googling bedtime fading - it's one of the evidence backed methods for bedtime battlers! (For reference I'm a sleep consultant and work with tonnes of 3YO - there's always methods that parents might not have considered, or are a bit less common!)

I would say at this point it's surely worth a go? Check references/reviews and look for someone who has experience/specialises in older children. Even if they can't help you at least you know you've tried everything and it's maybe time to consult a GP/HV and look at medication.

Thanks for your replies. I will look up that method as haven't tried it.
And will do some research into sleep consultants. My mum keeps telling me to take him to the GP but I wasn't sure what they'd actually do. I've tried the health visitor and they just gave me a print out with the usual tips on.

Hi OP…. How did you get on? I’m currently having very similar battles with my almost 3 year old!

Yes, I’m also having similar problems!

Hi
I didn't go to the GP or get a sleep consultant! I just allowed DS to sleep in our bed every single night. And it got earlier and earlier to the point where he was getting up before I'd even gone to bed. Then kicking me all night, talking to me, trying to get up at 5am. I found myself in tears on the school run as was just so tired and had to dash off to work.

So the week before Christmas I spent 3 nights insisting he went back in his bed. I'd previously fitted a stairgate to his door as he was constantly running into his brothers room in the night if I put him back to bed. After 3 nights of being put back in his room he got the picture and started sleeping through 7.30 till 7! It was amazing. He said to me I don't know how i know how to sleep all night. And he's been so much happier in the day time.
We then went to in laws for 3 nights over Christmas where we all shared a room and now he's back to getting up multiple times. I'm trying to persevere but I did end up in the spare bed with him last night. The middle of the night battles were the worst, me and DH ended up arguing at 4am because we were just so fed up.
But I've got hope that I know he can do it, he's just very stubborn and likes to get his own way (in absolutely everything he does).

Hoping things improve for you, but for me the only thing that worked for me was effectively leaving him to cry. I know that's not for everyone

I'm currently in a similar situation.
Our son just over 2.5 and wants to be cuddled to sleep. Then wakes and I get into bed with him. Over the summer, he slept through most nights so I didn't mind bed hopping once or twice a week. Now it's nightly and I'm really struggling with the disturbed sleep and aching back.

Attempting some sort of gradual withdrawal starting with sitting at the end of his bed but he's currently furious about this and I feel guilty but I don't know how to continue with not getting decent sleep!

Oh well done for persevering! Sleep issues are soooo tough aren’t they. It’s not one size fits all so what you read online might not work for your child. Mine just doesn’t seem to tire, even after soft play, nursery …. She just keeps powering through. I’m at the end of my tether 😅but it’s reassuring to hear your plan worked eventually. Toddler stubbornness is something else!!!