4 year old up for hours in middle of night

[cakecoffeecakecoffee]

DS has just turned 4 and has never really had difficulty sleeping, other than when poorly.

he has just started having really disrupted nights where he’ll go down as usual without a fuss but between 11pm and midnight he’ll suddenly wake up and won’t want to go back to sleep.

he’s had 4-5 hours sleep by that stage and so probably feels fairly rested. He’s just wide awake then for about 3-4 hours 😭 in and out of bed like a yo-yo, wanting his iPad or his light on, or to play etc. he says he doesn’t want to be alone.

we’re currently just taking him straight back to bed every time with a brief “no, it’s bed time now” but we’re talking like 50+ times. I want him to feel reassured by us but also need this phase to pass! DH and I are both shattered from such poor sleep.

has anyone had this and found anything that helped? I’ve tried reward charts and bribery!

I think the problem is not that he is awake but that he is disturbing you.

Unfortunately I don't know the soloution. Perhaps some things in his room that are quiet? Maybe audio books (assuming he isn't free reading yet).

I have heard of parents putting a torch and books in a child's room and the child reading uder the covers but obviously the child has to be reading.

Short term can you take it in turns to sleep in his room so he is only disturbing one of you at a time.

Check him for threadworms or UTI. It will pass!

Thanks. Yes, I guess if he was awake but content it would be such an issue… although he is really tired and grumpy the next day so definitely needs the sleep. Last night after 4 hours he relented and went back to sleep but then snuck into our bed at some unknown point.

his sister has always been a terrible sleeper but she’s 8 now so will just put her lamp on and read until she’s ready to go back to sleep. He can’t read yet although I’ve suggested looking at picture books to him. He just doesn’t want to be alone, he wants to be with us.

he’s in the tiny box room so unfortunately there’s not even room to fit a camp bed on the floor. I would 100% be happy to go in with him otherwise.

DH is suggesting we take it in turns sleeping with DS in our bed (too much of a squeeze for us all in together)…. But that will probably just create a new battle. But maybe after a few nights of decent sleep he’ll feel a bit better? I don’t know.

Interesting, I didn’t think of that! I’ll inspect his bum later and drop a wee sample to the surgery. Thanks.

Later bedtime?

Just here for some solidarity, our 4 year was a pretty good sleeper until about 3 months ago. Now quite frankly it’s all gone to shit! Waking up for hours most nights unless we sleep on his floor. Tried everything, sticker charts, bribes, strict return and leave, staying with him, gro clock, but he still does it.

the most improvements we have were putting bedtime later so went from 7.30pm to 8pm, we let him listen to an audio book, stay until he gets sleepy but leave the room before he’s actually asleep. Almost like sleep training a baby!

hopefully it won’t last forever 🤯

Thanks for the solidarity.

well, we treated for worms just in case (no visible signs) and had his wee dipped which showed nothing there.

bedtime has been pushed back a bit but he’s very grumpy and tired by bedtime. He’s still ok-ish going to sleep initially and will sleep for 2-4 hours before the multiple wakings. We had 1 night when he sleep for 6 blissful hours after waking but other than that it’s still ongoing.

I guess the progress is that he’s no longer screaming and crying when he wakes, he just needs tucking back in each time. I’m hoping he’ll gradually just stop waking as much.

Bumping this as we have just started going through this and we are feeling desperate. Will it end ? Four year old has always been a great sleeper until recently. This week it escalated to waking 2-5 am and getting up 20-50 times .

It will end! It did for us anyway 💛

first maybe just make sure there’s nothing physically going on, worms, ear infection, tummy pain ect. I do remember reading it’s quite common in this age group, big development mile stone etc so you’re definitely not alone.

Lots of trail and error for us but the biggest thing that helped was a strategy that meant he stayed in bed and we checked on him at 2, 5 and then 10 minutely until he was asleep. He got the attention and reassurance he needed but all he had to do was lie in bed, which made him sleepy and he feel asleep alone. It’s worked ever since which is almost a year ago now.

it might not work for you but keep going, something will work and it won’t last forever but I totally feel your pain!

good luck x

Waking up at 11 after 5 hours sleep means an extremely early 6pm bedtime.Coupled with the clocks changing you are putting him to bed at, what was a few days ago, 5pm!!!

No wonder he isnt tired!