Please help, non sleeping, puking baby, we're KNACKERED!

[wickedwinterwitch]

Dd is 13 months and slept, sort of, up til now. She has a dummy. However, the last couple of weeks she's been waking in the night, pulling herself up on the cot bars (the cot's in our room, there's nowhere else for it to go) and crying until she's picked up. She will then go back down once we've put her flat a few/loads of times. But it's broken sleep and we're knackered. We take it in turns but last night was particularly terrible as she's got a cold and therefore couldn't cope with the dummy as she couldn't breathe properly. If we ignore her crying she makes herself sick. At this point I gave in last night and brought her in with me. But she still didn't sleep so dp and I swapped over and each slept on the sofa downstairs half way through the night. Result! We're both knackered now! So:

• Controlled crying: I would do it but she makes herself puke. What's the alternative? Could anything happen to her if I just put her to bed and ignored her? Should I?
• Dummy: Should we just go cold turkey and take it away so colds don't result in this waking?
• Any other suggestions? Do you reckon if we do a few nights of pain and putting her flat down in her cot again and again and again she'll get the message and sleep? I know, no-one knows the answer to that one! Friends keep telling me to just sleep downstairs for a couple of nights and ignore her til she gets the message but she will* make herself sick if we do this. I don't think I can stand and listen while she does this. Any and all advice welcome. TIA. Sorry this is so long, I'm obsessed.

if she has a cold have you been giving her calpol? this will certainly make her sleep. and try karvol too for her stuffiness. god, i really sympathise with you, its a bloody nightmare.

have you tried pick up put down? its the only alternative to cc that i know of. sorry havent been much help.

loads of luck

www those plug in things which you slot a little strip of vapourising nose clearer stuff (heck, what a terrible description, maybe someone else can tell you the proper name) worked well for us, really seems to clear the air in the room, as a short-term help for her cold.
I think often babies realise once they are 10-14 months that they can get your attention if they wake and cry. The best thing is to try to deal with it as once encouraged, she may keep doign it (i know people in this position).
The crying till sick thing is a real killer, isn't it? I would just keep trying the putting down thing for a few days, it may only be that and she will get the idea...a few nights of hideous pain but in the end (hopefulyl) a baby who starts sleeping again.
good luck

Oh, you poor thing. Personally, I wouldn't do anything in the way of sleep training while she actually has a cold. I'd do the vaporizer and calpol etc and go in and lay her down in the dark as boringly as possible until she can breathe properly again, and then see how she is. I think if she has lots of snot then crying can easily make her sick as it catches in the throat. I've had a cold recently and it made me feel absolutely wretched - esp at night - so she might be feeling awful atm. When she feels a bit better and you've got the symptoms under control I think it might be a bit clearer what you can realistically do with her to promote a bit more sleep.

There's also the idea of propping one end of the cot up, which i believe is supposed to help with congestion - but my DD just ends up with feet in the air and head down so it didn't help us.
We found karvol and snufflebabe helped with colds.
We tried to sort sleep out at about 14 months and altho she didn't actually make herself sick it sounded like she was going to. One day of us ignoring that particular cry and she didn't do it again. The HV told me of a case where the child was sick and mother just left her in cot but obviously changed the sheets & child (about same age), ie no pick up and comforting, no talking. Once again, after only a couple of time where no attention given, the child gave up. It's very hard to ignore, especially in same room as you, but i think when you're ready (and little one more healthy) you probably need to take the pain for the gain for your own sanity!
Good luck.

Babe, can't stop now, but big hugs and massive sympathy. Would medised help the cold?

WWW - could be that she has an ear infection. I would get her checked out because it may be pain in her ears that is getting her up because lying down aggravates it.

Thanks so much you lot. She has a horrible, horrible cold (which I didn't really realise last night) and so we will get up to her tonight and will wait until she's better to even think about getting tough. The poor thing is not well at all. She's had Calpol and there's Karvol on her sheets so fingers crossed tonight is better for her and us. We're going to bed in about 5 minutes, which is about 10 minutes after both children. Mears, when I read your post I called dp and asked him to think about whether it might be an ear infection (I was at work at the time) and he spoke to the doctor who thinks probably not. Thanks for the help and sympathy everyone.

How can he diagnose without looking in her ears WWW?

Oh www, sorry you're having a bad time. Would recommend propping the cot up at one end - we've done it for dd as she is suffering from bad cold too, but you do have to keep checking they're not head down! Has she got a grobag? Dd uses one, and it does keep her lying down in the cot mostly. Could you steam her room? Or have a really hot shower with her in the bathroom just before bedtime to clear things out a bit.

I wouldn't try controlled crying etc till she's better, but if it doesn't sort out, you could try the 'Baby whisperer pick-up/put-down' where you don't actually leave the baby, just put them down, then when they cry, pick up till stop crying, put down etc. etc. etc.

Hope things are better soon. xxx

Hi Mears, she said she thought the pain would have been constant and dd was fine during the day so ear infection unlikely. We went to bed at 8.30 last night and she woke once at 10 and then slept til 6.30 so I feel HUMAN again, hurrah!

Haven't had much time to read all this thread but, besides having a cold is your DD getting too big for her cot ? We had to move DS into a bed with bed guards on either side (basically an overgrown cot!) when he was a year old because he kept rolling over, banging hid head / hand / leg on the bars & waking up. Previous to that he'd slept pretty well.

Wrt the cold, have you tried a bath with Clearbreath baby bath in before bed ? It smells of menthol etc. It works a treat with DS. The only problem is that the stuff is hard to find - Asda is the only place I know of. However I've a spare bottle I could post to you if you'd like a try - CAT me.

I've also seen a gadget which is designed to let parent sort of syringe out the snot (sorry I couldn't think of a better word! ) I didn't buy one because it looked a bit, urmmm, serious but it might work (????)