Cosleeping.....?

[mokebox]

Those who do it, how does it work for you?

I didn't cosleep with my 1st DC very much when little and very much fought against all my instincts when it came to sleep (sleep training etc). I really regret that as oldest is almost 4 now and still creeps into our bed in the night a few times a week and sleep has always been a bit contentious.

I don't want to go down same route with DC2 who is 7 months and suddenly waking a lot in the night. The best way to settle her seems to be to bring her in to my bed. When I've done this DH goes off to spare room. No issues, we all get a sleep (just coincidence that older child hasn't appeared those nights).

I think it seems like the answer for us but what do I do if older child comes in too? Is it safe?

Has sleeping apart effected your marriage?

If you coslept in past, at what age/ point and how did you coax child into sleeping in their own room/bed?

Do you put them down for the night in cot but then move them in with you later? If not, and they're in with you from get go, do you just go to bed at same time as them?

At the moment I have both mine in with me (almost 3 and 1).
I sleep in the middle with a child either side to avoid rolling onto each other and bed guard either side as well.
They are both in with me from the start. Older one does have his own room, but after a terrible nightmare around 6 weeks ago he absolutely refuses to go into his room so we are just riding it out for now. Husband sleeps in the spare room, gets a good full night's sleep.
I think husband would rather we were all in our beds, but appreciates it's best way of us all getting sleep at the moment and it's a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things.

And to add, I originally got our eldest into his own room by staying in there with him for a few nights/weeks and then when comfortable I would leave the room once he was asleep for the night and he would generally sleep through.

We co-slept mostly with a sidecar cot so took one side off the cot and attached it to our bed on my side so I could lie down with baby and settle him and DH could still sleep in the bed. After 6months we left him in the cot with a baby monitor and went to bed when we were ready.

He climbed out the cot around 9/10 months so this was no longer safe, at which point he started sleeping in between me and DH - we very quickly purchased a super king.

We moved him into a full size single in his own room at around 12-15 months and made sure to keep both bedroom doors open once we had gone to bed and were not able to keep an eye on monitor, he just walks into our room and comes into our bed when he wants, sometimes this is around 3am, sometimes he sleeps through (now 2yo).

I am now expecting number 2 and plan to do the same thing - baby in sidecar cot, older one in between me and DH if and when he comes in. I’m sure the guidance of that children shouldn’t sleep without an adult in between until the youngest is 18 months - but double check this. If we get to the stage where cot is not longer suitable for youngest, they can sleep in between us and if older one needs us in the night, DH can go into his room as his bed is big enough for the both of them.

Essentially, cosleeping has not affected our marriage at all, in fact it’s probably helped as we have all been less sleep deprived. We have pretty much always slept in the same bed though, so unsure if that would change things. Obviously it does mean that your bedroom is out of bounds in the evenings so you may have to be slightly more creative when it comes to romance - but again, I think that’s a positive.

Sorry for the essay post!

Look in to the safe sleep 7.

We’ve coslept since DD was 3 days old. It’s a lifesaver in terms of sleep. Your youngest baby is safe to sleep between two adults now, but if it’s you in bed with two DC then you should be in the middle. Bed guards aren’t recommended as babies can either become entrapped by them or older babies climb over the top and fall from a greater height.

I don’t have advice regarding two kids but I coslept with our now 15mo since the 4 month regression until 8 months when we transitioned him to a floor bed and then coslept only part time since then. Before we started bedsharing the baby was in his cot next to my bed in the nursery. My husband was in the master bedroom with our dog.

My husband and I already slept in separate rooms before we even had a baby and it absolutely has not affected our marriage except to maybe make it better because we both got better sleep. We’re now back in the same room and same bed because the toddler has the other room and it’s a bit annoying to be honest! He comes to bed later so I never feel like I can fully relax until he’s in because I know he’d wake me if I was already asleep. He also feels pressured to come to bed before he’s really tired enough and then isn’t sleepy and keeps tossing and turning. So it’s not working for either of us but we don’t have more rooms 😅

My now 4yo used to come in most nights, we managed it by returning him to his room and me or DH lie down with him (either until he falls asleep or until morning). After a few weeks he started sleeping through the night.

I’m currently co-sleeping with my 11mo in his room on a floor bed. He wakes much less when I’m sleeping next to him.

I wouldn’t co-sleep with a baby and a young child together - not safe enough for the baby.

It sounds like co-sleeping is really working for you and your family. It's understandable that you want to avoid the same sleep struggles with your second child.

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fnaf world

The happycosleeper on Instagram has lots of info about cosleeping with babies and toddler and general cosleeping advice