How to follow safe sleep guidelines with a noisy sibling

[curlyblonde]

I agree with the Lullaby Trust safe sleep guidance but I am at a total loss about how I keep my 7 week old DS2 in the same room as me for all sleeping when during the day this also involves him being in the same room as his older sibling DS1 5 who is really noisy. Given that DS2 has an awake window of only 60 min at the moment, he's trying to sleep most of the time but he just can't get to sleep or stay asleep amid the very loud hubbub of family life. I end up with a really upset overtired baby. The temptation Is to put him in his nice quiet Moses basket in my bedroom but this would mean leaving him on his own which isn't safe. And the advice is that sleeping in the same room as the parent should happen for the first six months! What do I do?

Do you have a set up where you can sit down with baby sleeping on you and 5yo playing in a separate room with doors open so you can see/hear?
5yo should be able to understand that at nap times he should be a little quieter.

Is it possible to introduce activities that are done only at nap times, such as Lego, jigsaws, colouring/sticker/activity books? If desperate, nap times can be TV time?

Hi @curlyblonde

we had a very similar issue, and ended up putting DC2 to sleep in our bedroom with a monitor on, kept the screen on and the volume up loud. I know it’s not ideal but I couldn’t see much difference between that and being in the same room tbh, not for naps when I was fully awake and checking the monitor anyway.

It was just madness otherwise! It also meant my older child could get some 1:1 attention while baby napped rather than me just shh’ing him all the time!

its not for everyone but it worked for us

DD2 (11 weeks) will contact map while DD1 (3) plays. It’s not ideal, but it’s amazing how much Duplo playing you can do while also holding a baby.

Also put them in a sling and go to the park/ out on a scooter/ whatever.

With DS2 and DD I ended up putting them upstairs in a cot with a video monitor by the time they were 6 weeks. Not ideal I know but they just couldn’t nap properly otherwise and were hysterical by the end of the day. In an empty cot with no covers, no teddies and a video monitor I felt like they were ok and they did sleep a lot better.

With my third she either slept in the sling, or in the pram in the hallway.

We had the same problem and I did start doing naps in our bedroom with monitor and very regular checks at about the 4 month mark. Was definitely less than ideal but he just wouldn't sleep for more than 20 mins or so at a time otherwise and was just crying loads from being overtired. He did sleep better on his own upstairs. We did do a lot of being out and about for him to nap in the pram as well though. Before 4 months again lots of time in pram and sling outdoors and I'd wear him in the sling in the house and walk/sway about a lot too.

Have resorted to putting the baby in our bedroom and checking regularly as five year old is utterly incapable of staying quiet and I was beginning to get back ache from wearing the sling for extended periods of time. It's not ideal as I know that it's physically being in the same room as the parent that keeps the baby safe but there isn't any other option. It does seem that for many families the safe sleep guidelines aren't compatible with actual sleep!