13 month old needs to grab boobs to sleep

[wideawakemummy]

Hello!

I am having a real issues with how I have to get my 13 month old to sleep. From about 6 months I managed to get him to sleep by patting him in his cot. Fully night weaned at 8 months - started sleeping through the night about 80% of the time. If he did wake up I just needed to pop his dummy back in - all good.

About a month ago he started nursery - was super tired and has picked up back to back bugs since then. I have also dropped him down to 1 BF a day - the one right before bed.

For the last month he has simply refused to lie down in his cot. Any time I put him down he stands straight back up - so I resorted to getting him to sleep in my arms. He grabs and strokes my boobs whilst I hold him and he goes to sleep. At first I just rolled with it because a) sleep was all messed up from nursery, b) he had been unwell so needed extra comfort and c) he is just starting to walk so I thought it might be a sleep regression.

But now it's really getting me down. It feels like such a backwards step. And the boob grabbing and nipple pinching I'm finding really hard to deal with. I just want my boobs back - so keen to drop the last feed but worried about doing it when he is unwell. But I'm having a really visceral reaction to the boob grabbing - I want it to stop.

Has anyone else been through this. How do I get him back to falling asleep in his cot! Tempted to cry it out but feels mean to do when he seems to be constantly ill from nursery. Would dropping the final feed help or make it worse!

If anyone has had a similar issue I would love some advice for what worked for you. Xx

I stopped feeding at this point. Buy him a teddy.

It's ok to put boundaries in around your body. I wouldn't allow nipple pulling ever, but I did allow stroking of my boobs as they fell asleep. Then I started holding their hands instead and stroking them with one finger on the back of their hand. Basically gently moved away from it. Don't despise OP, you can move away from this 👍

Thanks for the replies. I think I'll definitely put an end to the nipple grabbing straight away and drop the last feed. Then see how we are in a few weeks. Not sure how to get him to lie down in his cot again but there must be a way.

He does have a teddy but shows zero interest in cuddling it.

Mine stands up in his cot the second we put him down but I just leave him. We watch on the camera and after a bit he lays himself down. Could you try just leaving him?

also, maybe try giving him his last feed a bit before bed - like 30 minutes? Try and separate it from the actual going-to-sleep bit

Thanks. I have tried that with both me out and me in the room. Didn't work but I only have it about 20 minutes so I guess I need to leave it a bit longer.

Good tip about moving the feed forward.

Can your partner help? I do the last feed downstairs and my partner puts DS to bed. It’s worked well for us, especially as my partner finds it easier to resist the temptation to pick DS up for a cuddle every time he whinges.

Second vote for changing the bed routine to having partner / somebody else bring him into the bedroom, and if he cries etc you dont do any pickups either for a while.

It’s tough because he’s obviously feeling extra tired and exerted and so is looking for simple comfort and attachment- which is milky boobs. I wonder if cutting him off cold turkey might make more problems in the long run? Could it be a phase while he adjusts? I hated the nipple grabbing and boob obsession and being pawed at too so I’m not trying to downplay but could you put up with it just a bit longer until he’s more settled. Can you put him to sleep on a tshirt that smells like you/boobs so he can smell you?