Slowly losing my mind - 10 week old

[Yourteaisgettingcold]

I'll start by saying I do realise I'm very lucky that baby will go to sleep in the evening and only wake a couple of times, however, my issue is this:

Baby barely naps during the day and will mostly only fall asleep when he's been fed and then rocked or put in pram, carrier etc. I. AM. EXHAUSTED.

He absolutely will NOT take a dummy (I've tried 4 kinds now).

He gets so irate as the day goes on as when he does eventually nap its usually only for short periods so he's over tired a lot of the time.

I'm also slowly phasing out breastfeeding for my own mental health's sake. He has one bottle a day, shortly before bed, but I plan to slowly increase this. He has taken to formula fine but has expressed milk every other day in his bottle while I use up my frozen stock.

What can I do to help daytime naps?

How can I help him get to sleep without falling asleep on my boob at night (given that will stop soon)? I have tried pink/white noise, dark room, swaddle.

Help(!) and....Thanks!

In my experience there is nothing you can do as this is completely normal!!

My daughter was the same, she did not nap at all during the day and it drove me mad for 12 weeks. After 12 weeks she improved alongside her colic.

It does get better, hopefully at 12 weeks you should see an improvement

I'd have a look at the No Cry Nap System Solution for the daytime naps. It's very gentle and should help you to get him to nap better. Feeding to sleep is very, very normal at this age though and feeding at night is normal. It's not really recommended to night wean until 12 months.

I would have to agree with this.
5 - 10 weeks was our absolute worst time and i felt like it would never end. Everyone kept saying ‘it gets easier’ and although its no lt much consolation, its true. I understand why you are taking steps to help your self cope. In terms of the day naps - baby will sleep in the day again, in the night baby will just start falling asleep on the bottle/being rocked.
mine refused a dummy and we tried again when he was teething at four months and decided to take to it. He didnt sleep in the day at all until around 9 weeks and then only on me.

hang in there, youre doing a fantastic job!

ours was a contact napper for daytimes till around 6 months, she would fall asleep on me or DH and that would be it you were virtually glued to the chair for 2+ hours, DH LOVED it and did this for a lot longer than me, I started getting fed up and I wore a ring sling and wore her for her naps instead, I wandered round getting bits and bobs done, like mowing the lawn, hoovering and washing to the pots (the noise of all of those put her to sleep) then when she fell asleep I would sit at my desk release one of the rings so was still in the sling but essentially resting on a pillow on my lap until she woke up, I got so much work done that way.

following wake windows helped ours, because if she got overtired it was harder for her to fall asleep, it took a bit of jiggery pokery but we nailed the timings in the end.

After she got a bit heavy for carrying or it was too hot for contact napping, we used to put her in her pram, we'd have to walk with her to get her to fall asleep, (sometimes up and down inside the house, sometimes I'd take her out with the dogs) then we'd park her up in the hallway until she woke up, when we bought a pushchair we bought one that lays down flat and we continued to do this for naps until she stopped napping altogether just before she turned 2.

Night time I used to bottle feed her, burp her then just sit in a chair and cuddle her till she fell asleep, then do the 'arm drop test' and if she passed that I used to gently gently lay her in bed and pray to all that was holy that she didn't wake up straight away!

My advice would be don't worry about HOW you get them to nap/sleep at this age, as long as it's 'safe', they won't become dependent on it, so don't listen to the people that peddle that nonsense. Things change all the time, so if you find something that works, just do that until it doesn't work anymore! Then find something else! It IS an exhausting stage though, I don't think I'd want to do it again.

Mine contact napped for 9 months. I'd either have him in the carrier while I walked the dog, or would park myself on the sofa for some enforced rest and just accepted it. In five years you won't be thinking "I should've cleaned more". Occasionally, as we were cosleeping at night anyway, I would nap him in the bed and have a little snooze myself too.

I have a 12 week old baby girl and she is the same she sleeps well during the night now but does not nap during the day for longer than 20 minutes. I hardly get anything done.
For better night time routine, I followed a method by Sleep Miracle you can follow my Instagram Sleepybabies2023 for more tips if you like :)

My number 1 tip is don't let them stay awake too long. So start settling for that first nap after no more than 60 minutes awake in the morning eg if they wake at 7am they need to be fed, changed, tucked up in the pram with white noise on etc by 8am.
Subsequent naps can be around 90 minutes of awake time but as soon as the baby starts getting fussy, settle them down.

You can try feeding on waking rather than sleeping to reduce the boob-to-sleep issue. So for example your routine is nap-feed-awake time-nap rather than feed-nap-awake-feed

Use as many sleep cues as you can, white noise, swaddling, dummies etc If they like motion then you can get swinging chairs and pram rockers.

Thank you all for your replies, they're really helpful.

I know it won't last forever but it's also nice to actually be reminded of that!!

I'll keep reading over your replies to let it sink into my tired brain and use some of your tips!

Cosleep for naps? At least then you can rest too. You can also the feed lying down whilst you're still breastfeeding.

How are things today @Yourteaisgettingcold?

Sorry I didn't reply @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto , life has been hectic and I lost track!

Things are much better. DS has a better routine now and will nap when he's put in the carrier. It's not ideal but at least he's napping and my neighbours aren't mentioning the screaming anymore.

I think moving from breast to formula has helped a bit in that I'm not feeling on demand, I know he's full, he feeds upon waking, has a limited wake window before I concentrate on getting him to nap again before he's over tired.

Thanks again for your help, it really did give me a lot to think about and changed my mentality.