My 11 month old suddenly started waking up HOURLY at night and I’m not ok ☠️

[Danani]

Just looking for some solidarity or hope from anyone either going through this or who has come out the other side.

My soon-to-be 1 year old who has been a great night sleeper from day 1, and would normally sleep through the night (but wakes up at 5-6 am to start the day!), has suddenly without any warning or reason that I can think of started waking up literally every hour or less the past 2-3 nights. It is TORTURE.
She would go down a treat then 30-60 min later wakes up and IMMEDIATELY sits up or stands up in her cot and starts crying until someone goes in to settle her. She would then fall back asleep almost immediately, to then repeat this every hour till 5-6 am when she is UP for the day. It is so exhausting, I absolutely hate this, whatever it is. One night I go up and down all night with her; the next on wake up 2-3 we give up and take her in our bed. Sometimes this is as early as 9 pm and then again no one gets any decent sleep. I am at a loss at what to do.

Her routine has not changed.
She has blackout curtains and white noise on.
She is not hungry, as she has a nice dinner, usually followed by some banana with peanut butter for pudding and then has some milk at the end also.
We sleep-trained her using the Ferber method back when she was 5 months old and it worked a treat so she knows how to self-settle.
She doesn’t use a dummy.
I don’t think it’s teething at this particular moment.
She has 2 naps during the day, totaling about 2-2.5 h combined. Her wake windows are 3-4 hours, longest one before bed. Her total sleep for 24 h is 12-13.5 h, so I’d say not under or overtired.

Oh and also she suddenly has very strong preference for me, when her dad goes to soothe her it almost has the opposite effect! It’s like she’s pissed off it’s not me!

I literally don’t know what to do. We all need sleep desperately, and I’m going back to work in another couple of weeks so absolutely dreading this being our new normal. 🫠🫠🫠

Hunger or pain would be my guess.

Can you give her a decent snack/cereal before bed?

Have you tried giving calpol when she wakes up?

@Girliefriendlikespuppies it isn’t either.

She eats really well and I’ve started offering her a “pudding” shortly before bedtime like banana with pb or baby porridge, which are quite filling/calorie dense. And then she has a big bottle of milk.

It’s not pain, I know her cry when she is in pain like teething and this isn’t it. Also she’s totally fine during the day.

To me it seems like something emotional/developmental…separation anxiety or something.

Sounds like a developmental leap.

Hope the sleep settles again soon.

Sounds like sleep regression slightly later than normal. She will get back to her normal pattern, just ride it out. Mines never slept well so can sympathize

We also did Ferber and it worked like a dream.

We had a really tricky patch at 18 months where DS was finding it really hard to go to sleep and waking up a lot (it did coincide with him being ill). It was the hardest period of sleep deprivation since the new born stage. But it did pass and he went back to putting himself to sleep quickly and staying asleep all night.

Just keep doing what you are doing, consistently, and pray that it’s a very short phase.

@HelpMeUnpickThis oof. I guess it seems so, right? However according to WonderWeeks we’re in the “sunny” part of the leap and not yet in the “stormy” part of the next one 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

@Tiredjoanna that’s the thing that trips me up! She did go through a sleep regression at around 9.5 months it was really shitty couple of weeks and then we came out the other side of it. So I’m like, wait, we’ve been through this already, I don’t wanna go again 😭

@Hazelnuttella 😭 I’d go as far as to say it’s worse than the newborn period.

Ferber’s gone a bit out the window at the moment, because this child will not settle. We’ve been giving her more comfort like cuddles, or patting, shushing, a bottle (which I hate that we’ve regressed!!).
Any advice how to re-Ferber when she gets screamy-crying and standing in her cot holding for the bars? As soon as we lay her down, she’s up again!

When we had our tricky patch we’d been staying with DS till he fell asleep (which was fine when he was ill), but it did result in him waking up all night, to the extent that I was sleeping in the floor on his room. It wasn’t sustainable.

We decided we were going to go back to Ferber. So books, singing, cuddles, in the cot, night night, leave the room (regardless of whether he was crying/standing up).

When he cried we did the first check in very quickly (30 seconds) to reassure him that we were there. Quick cuddle, night night, I’ll come back and see you in a minute.

If still crying, another check in after a minute, and then two minutes.

It was only two nights like this to re-Ferber and then we were back to normal.

I know a lot of people reading will say it’s harsh, they couldn’t leave their baby to cry. But it works, and since then (he’s 2 now) he just lies down and goes to sleep happily within seconds on his own. So it’s a couple of nights pain for years of gain.

No, I totally agree @Hazelnuttella . I don’t think it’s harsh at all to help teach them how to sleep well and to give them the gift of a restful night. We followed the method when she was 5 m and it worked fab. Then at around 9 months things started to slip a little with teething, colds, travel, etc etc. and we were offering more comfort and helping her fall asleep, cuddling etc. And now I want us to re-Ferber again but I only dipped my toe in the other night and it was so not like when she was 5 m old! First of all, the crying was more like screaming like a tantrum, and then she would immediately stand up. Going in made no difference, she would refuse to lay down and when we tried to when we did the check-ins it was like an exorcism! I think about 30 min in I gave up because I felt really triggered (and maybe not really ready to stick with it and do it again). But after two weeks of less than ideal sleep, and especially this week being a total nightmare, I think I’m ready…

If it is very sudden and 'out of charater' I would suspect getting ill. Especially with the general upset. I'd try calpol, if she gets a bit more cheerful then hopefully it will be very short lived and she will feel better soon!

It's because sleeping through the night is not what we would do naturally. Babies work frequently during the night to feed, build milk supply, and check they are safe. They always do this and go right back to sleep upon getting their milk, suckle, or seeing their mother. If a baby isn't waking it’s not a good thing, it increases the risk of SIDS.

Growth spurts mean they need more milk and inherently to suckle more to build more supply. The need to suckle is completely innate and cannot be removed. Hence a “dummy” breast is used if mother isn't breastfeeding, but the need for the milk doesn’t change. The baby will need more milk more frequently and is thus waking up to seek it out.

If you're trying to get a growing baby who is incapable of cognising modern life to sleep through the night when going through a growth spurt you're going to have a really rough time.

Can you co-sleep? Baby will work, feed, then sleep again.

If not breastfeeding try to give the baby a bottle the mimics the flow and feel of a teat, such as Mimjumi, whenever she wakes, it won't be for long. Naturally baby would wake, suckle perhaps, get that comfort, stimulate milk supply, and have their heartbeat regulated next to their mother. This is the global norm.
I also did this because the sleep deprivation and the complete counterintuitivenss of putting baby in a moses only for her to immediately scream for me was driving me insane.

At week four that was it, I stopped listening to health visitors, started listening to my baby, and life became much easier.

It's completely in character for an 11 month old to go through a growth spurt and need more milk more frequently.

I have hazy memories of hellish few weeks just before them hitting major milestones! Perhaps she is about to hit one?

I also think this will be a short phase but hard when you're in the thick of it. Can you or husband take it in turns to sleep in her room on a mattress? That way you don't have to move far to resettle.

It is, but having had two dc, one who woke up constantly between birth and two, and one who closed their eyes and went to sleep, they both had very sudden changes to their sleep and mood when they were ill. The OP asked for suggestions.

Thanks all!

@Blarn , I hear you but honestly doesn’t seem like illness or pain at all. She’s had both already and this ain’t it. Also she is only a little demon in the night. Perfectly happy during the day!

@thatsaysfriedricenotnoregrets thanks for the suggestion! TO be honest, she does get milk - she has a bottle before bed. Hasn’t had the need to wake in the night for feeds for months, so that is well and truly behind us. I know when they go through growth spurts they are hungrier so been trying to give her more foods during the daytime. When I say “sleep through” usually, what I mean is not that she doesn’t wake, but that she turns around, closes her little eyes and is able to put herself back to sleep without the need for one of us to be there. She’s not been doing that the past few nights.

@Marblessolveeverything you know what, I did read that somewhere! She’s learned how to pull herself to standing position and loves making steps when someone holds her hands the last couple of weeks…maybe taking her first steps isn’t that far away?

@Jk987 we can and we try, but she’s also in a real mommy phase which is really annoying to be honest as she just won’t settle for him! We’ve resorted to
him sleeping in the other room while she sleeps with me in our bed, just so we all get the most sleep we can while this hell lasts. I really hope it’s short-lived though! 🤞🏻

The baby is 11 months not 11 weeks

Well past the biggest risk for sids and no it's not ' normal ' to be waking every 30-60 minutes all night long at that age .
I would suspect illness if sudden or teething even if fine during the day you can feel the pain of teething more at night

Each to their own.. but Feber in my opinion is cruel.
My eldest was breast fed for two years so in her cot next to me and fed on demand so usually every 1 to 2 hours.
Neither of my daughters went into their own bedroom until age two.
I napped in day when they napped so wasn't sleep deprived.
Self soothing isn't working.. it's not good for their mental health in the long term.
It's obvious the baby needs comforting that's why she's waking up.

It’s most likely a sleep regression if you can rule out everything else, they get separation anxiety at this age. I’ve just been through exactly the same with my son, who was 1 yesterday and in the last week has started sleeping through again. We had a couple of weeks of hell sleep, lots of cuddles, going into resettle, offer drink / boob etc.

it will pass. I found keeping him in his room helped and meant I didn’t disturb everybody else. DH took him into the spare room for a cuddle a few times when I needed a break and he couldn’t get him settled in his own room.

Where does your bub sleep? Is she still in a smaller side cot in your room, or a larger cot in her own room? Just a thought: if she’s still in a smaller cot, she may have outgrown it. At exactly 6 months old my son had the same type of regression after having slept through the night since 3 months. Waking up every 30-60 mins, we were pulling our hair out trying to work out what was up. At it was Christmas night 😂. In the end we took all the bedding off our bed and plonked him in the middle of it (he wasn’t rolling yet). He went to sleep and didn’t wake for 12 hours, and we worked out that he just needed more space. The next day we got his cotbed ready and that was it - he continued to sleep through from the first night in his own room. Also after he was about a year old, we went on holiday and discovered that he would not sleep with us in the same room - despite having been in our room for his first 6 months. The same thing wound happen - he’d wake up constantly. It was fixed by us upping sticks and sleeping in another room!

So perhaps sleep space is your issue, if you’ve not yet considered it? But whatever it is, it will pass. Good luck! X

Hi all and thanks for everyone’s input.

we had a wonderful night last night where she randomly slept through again! I feel like a new woman today, really needed that! Not sure if we’re out the other side of that phase or if it was a one off but I’ll take it!!!

@redtomatoes she sleeps in her big cot in her own room and has done since 5.5 months old!

@Samolino yes, I think so too! Hopefully we’re seeing the end of it now! 🤞🏻

@wendyjoy right. As you said, you do you. I wasn’t asking about Ferber. :)

@Sussexcricket yes, I’ve read that too actually, and we are in prime time for teething so maybe that coupled with a sleep regression!

Glad things are better. If things deteriorate again, it might be worth thinking about moving from 2 naps to 1 in the day. 1 big lunchtime nap. When they're ready for the change, night time sleep sometimes gets disrupted. Mine moved to one nap at around 11 months.