HELP!!!! 4 Month Sleep Regression!!!!

[PinkBlossom33]

Is it just a phase or do I need to sleep train?

Baby has been waking frequently for 3 weeks now after previously sleeping through with only 1 wake up! The last few nights she wakes up every hour and needs to be bounced or fed to sleep. We've always got her to sleep like this but now we are all sleep deprived 😩

If it is a phase how long does it last for?

I would nip it in the bud with some gentle sleep training. As you are finding out, once they get off track they struggle to get themselves back on track and you can help them do that. I would rule out ear infections and teething issues first. If she can control her hands enough to get them up to her face, then she can learn to suck a finger or thumb and self soothe very effectively. Try encouraging a hand to her face in the daytime when she is fussy to see if she can get the hang of it

I'm going through it too but I'm not planning on sleep training yet. Every second I'm on my phone at the moment I'm desperately googling 4 month sleep regression and from what I've read training isn't recommended during regressions. Most articles seem to recommend sticking to a regimented bedtime routine and riding it out.

My baby was crap at napping but great at night until probably 14 weeks. He would go down between 7:30 and 8 easily (FF to sleep) after a bath, then wake anywhere between 12 and 1am and again around 4am, up for the day at 6am. I could deal with that. Even felt refreshed after that first 4/5 hour stretch.

He's just gone 16 weeks old this last Friday and for the past fortnight his night sleep is getting increasingly bad. It started with 1 extra wake around 10:30/11pm. Last night he went down at 7:50pm, woke up at 8:30, 9:30, 10:40, midnight, 1:30, 3, 3:30 at which point I brought him into bed with me because I'd had enough. I would say co-sleep to get through it, but mine doesn't sleep well on the bed with me either. I have to hold/cuddle him lying down to sleep and even then it is a very light sleep and he's stirring every 10 minutes. I can just about get him through to 6am with the feed about 4:30. I do hate cosleeping though and worry about the risks but after two weeks of about 3 hours of broken sleep a night I'm just doing what I have to in order to stay sane and awake during the day.

Not feeding every time he wakes up obviously, but feeding around 11, 2 and 4 and he is hungry and usually has 5oz a time.

Probably creating a shed load of bad habits I'll have to break at some point but honestly I'm too knackered to even care at this point. Wouldn't mind if day naps were good and I could grab an hour here or there but he only contact naps for 30 minutes at a time.

So no advice but big hand hold, massive cup of coffee, and solidarity, this regression is absolute dog shit. I've read threads of people saying their baby was over it in 1 week, and I know one mother IRL who has a 9 month old and her sleep never recovered after the 4 month regression! Let's pray we are not part of that crap club. Back to sleep training, I would consider training if my baby isn't over it within 1-2 months, so if sleep stays this way and doesn't improve by 6 months, I will be researching sleep training for then. I'm also considering hungry baby milk but we have health clinic on Wednesday for a weigh in so I'm planning to ask about this then as heard mixed things, will try and report back!

@SeaToSki that's a good point about ear infections I hadn't thought of that. I don't think it is though. Teething could be an issue, she does always have her hands in her mouth. She tries to self sooth with them but still ends up crying (which I'm sure is even louder at night 🙈).

@hotcheeto it's good to know that we're not the only ones going through this!

I have read that they don't recommend sleep training under 6 months, so I'm really torn. I want to hold out until then but it's so hard when we're all so tired. DD has been grumpy all day too so I think the broken sleep is affecting her too 😔

I have the same problem co-sleeping. I have to sit rocking or feeding her until she's in a deep enough sleep to get her down or she just wakes straight back up again.

She contact naps too and they are mostly rubbish 20-30 mins, but she did sleep for nearly 2 hours this afternoon which was nice even though it meant I was nap trapped lol

I really hope this improves soon for us both. I don't think I could cope if it continues until she was 9 months! I will also be trying sleep training at 6 months if there's no improvement!

Keep me updated with how you're getting on.

An easy way to see if its teething or an ear infection is to try a dose of calpol half an hour before bed. If it helps, it is likely that something is hurting her and keeping her awake - then follow up with the GP

Thanks PinkBlossom, just put him down for the night so crossing everything that crosses he has a good stretch. I find it hard to go to sleep at the same time because I'm desperate for an hour alone and a good scroll even though exhausted!
I've given him hungry baby milk tonight in the hope it helps in any way.
Hope to hear you've had a better night tomorrow :)

We had a better night here, woke a bit grumbly at 10pm but settled immediately, then 1:30am, then 3 then up at 5:45. Not ideal but it is certainly better than the previous night of like 8 wake ups! Will definitely give him the hungry baby milk again tonight before bedtime, he seemed to love it. I think I've had about 6.5 hours sleep and I feel great compared to yesterday 😂 how was your night PinkBlossom?

Sorry you're in the thick of it, it truly sucks! You don't need to sleep train if you don't want to, and in many (most?) cases it'll be something you need to regularly revisit as well, I think I've seen a statistic somewhere that on average families will need to re-train sleep trained babies something like 7 times in the first year?

The first two years of baby sleep are the toughest, it's constant ups and downs rather than a consistent improvement. What we did was try to find ways to get the most and best sleep in the circumstances and working with the hard times instead of trying (and failing) to fix what is essentially just normal for infants. So I bedshared in the nursery full-time until around 8 months with my husband doing mornings, so he came in to get baby up at 7am and I had a lie in until he needed to leave for work at 8.30. Then at 8 months we switched to a floor bed so that he could be left on his own without risk of falling from a height, and I would try to sleep in my own bed, but if it was going to be a tough night with many wake ups one of us would get in next to him from around midnight. We also had many contact naps together to get through the day.

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

@hotcheeto Gald to hear you had a better night! It makes so much of a difference when you get some sleep doesn't it!

We had a better night too. We actually put DD to bed a bit later and I don't know if that made a difference. We had been doing bedtime between 7:45-8:15 but last night she went to bed at 9:15 and woke for a feed at 12:30 & 3:30. Woke briefly at 5:30 and then again at 7. I fed her and she fell back to sleep until 9:15 so I went back to sleep too lol I feel much more rested and my husband went off to work in a much better mood this morning lol

Hopefully the better nights continue for us both 🤞

@GinnyBee That's an interesting read. I do keep telling myself it's developmental but it's so hard when you're so tired. It has definitely made me think whether sleep training is worth it though or whether I just need to tough it out.

I would like to do less contact naps though (not cut them out completely as I like the cuddles, but at least 1 so I can get things done) but I don't know how to do that without sleep training because she wakes up straight away.

The 8-10 month sleep regression looks scary I'm dreading that already 🙈 lol

We've been in and out of it for about a month now, started off with a virus at 3 months and 3 weeks and then turned into the regression. We've had some bad weeks and some better weeks. We've been really consistent with 6:30 bath time and bottle/bed by 7pm, stuck with naps at 9, 12 and 4pm and only fed (ff) once a night and never before 2am. Last 5 nights she's gone from 6:30- between 4:30 and 6:30 which is what she was doing before. 5 months old next week so hoping we're coming out the other side 🤞🏻😣

Are you BF? Can you do shifts with your DP so each of you gets a bit of sleep, the other sleeps elsewhere with earplugs?

Do you have a co-sleeper? I used to do contact naps where I'd feed DC to sleep lying next to them on bed, have ten mins nap myself, then move DC into their cot and leg it.

I also used to get DC to nap in the sling and I could still get things done - picking things up with my toes and doing cooking at arm's length etc!

It's not easy but you do get through it - if you've only had one wake up until now, that's really lucky. You do kind of acclimatise to the lack of sleep and it stops being such a shock to the system.

How's it going pinkblossom? My baby only woke twice last night and slept in his own crib until wake up at 6. I've stopped the hungry milk on the advice of the HV. It was like his sleep got worse and worse until that night earlier in the week when he was up every hour and is now getting better. I've probably jinxed myself now I've said it 🙃

@hotcheeto That's great! Seems like you're through the worst of it. Why did your HV advise against the hungry milk?

DD has been unwell the last couple of days. Woke up with a really high temperature Tuesday night and had one all day yesterday so sleep has been terrible for her over night, poor baby. She manages a 2-2 1/2 hour stretch at the beginning of the night and then she's waking up every hour. We're hoping when she feels better it will improve.

I have noticed that her naps are getting better during the day. She'll stir after half an hour but then go back to sleep easily after being rocked and will sleep for around 1 1/2 - 2 hours. I just hope she's not mixing up her day and night! She went down for her last nap at 11:15, woke up crying at 12:10 so I offered her a feed (EBF) and she fell back to sleep and is currently still asleep 😬 but I don't know if it's because she's still perhaps feeling poorly.