10.5 month old sleep

[121gigawatts]

I'm sure I've mentioned this before on previous threads but my 10.5 month DD is a terrible sleeper. I've done everything wrong second time round, nursing to sleep, letting her use me as a dummy so she doesn't cry, co sleeping etc. The past week she has been particularly bad, I mean like 45 minute cycles and getting woken up by her wanting to latch or just be awake. I've recently gone back to work and I'm struggling.

I'm considering a sleep trainer (I'm NW England) has anybody been down this route or is it a waste of money? Last night dh and I tried cry it out but after an hour it disturbed our toddler and we stopped. We were with dd doing cry it out but just putting her in cot and sitting next to her, holding hand, patting her etc, she was just screaming and trying to climb out of cot and onto bed (we have the next to me forever) she did used to sleep most of the night in her cot and only wake up 2/3 times some nights and I classed this as a good night.

Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. TIA

I've done everything wrong second time round what makes you think that what you've done is wrong? Sounds responsive to me....

What did you do differently with your first?

@Toddler101 I didn't let her nurse to sleep. She was and is able to self soothe and was put down awake. She wasn't still nursing at this age though and happily took a bottle something which dd2 won't do. I've always offered a bottle from young but she's been hit and miss and even when in childcare won't take it but has weaned to solids OK. If dh tries to settle her she just screams until she can nurse even though I know she isn't hungry. In the day we don't have set nap times either. But bedtime routine has always been consistent.

If dh tries to settle her she just screams until she can nurse even though I know she isn't hungry babies nurse for many, many reasons though besides hunger. There is a big load of separation anxiety kicking in around 9/10m too so baby is upset you're not there and needs comfort when you return.

Nursing to sleep is biologically normal too. Did you know sleep hormones in your milk are higher at night?

letting her use me as a dummy a dummy is a replacement for a nipple, not the other way around!

She wasn't still nursing at this age though and happily took a bottle something which dd2 won't do. I've always offered a bottle from young but she's been hit and miss and even when in childcare won't take it At 10.5m, have you tried using a cup instead of a bottle?

In the day we don't have set nap times either times aside, does she still have consistent naps? Does she nap in the same place as overnight sleeps? Is her nap time routine broadly the same as her bedtime routine (minus bath). Sleep begets sleep!

It's not for everyone but have you tried safely bed-sharing and feeding lying down to maximize your sleep? That way if baby wakes every 45m you can latch them on and fall back to sleep. That's what saved me when I went back to work with my terrible sleeper along with adjusting my expectations around normal baby sleep. 10.5m is still very young, I hate the phrase but - this too shall pass.

Also - have out ruled out teething pain as a reason for the frequent wakes if it's only started recently in the last week? Tried Calpol/nurofen?

Thanks @Toddler101 ruled out teething pain.

She takes water from a cup but not milk, and we already safely bedshare but she's a terrible fidget and she is constantly trying to stimulate herself, by pinching me, scratching me, kicking etc.

The day time naps do not take place in bedroom, usually in car, pram and when in her childcare setting, she sleeps in a travel cot or pram.

I was used to 3/4 wake ups a night but not this. I know it will pass, just struggling.

And I guess I just read alot of conflicting advice and have been told that what I'm doing is incorrect by letting her nurse to sleep etc.

Mine was the same so I do sympathise, it's exhausting. Don't listen to anyone telling you that what you're doing is incorrect, trust your instincts.