12 week old sleep getting worse not better?

[CEJenkins]

Hi all, this is my first time doing this so forgive me if there is already a thread covering this but I couldn’t seem to find one similar. I am a FTM and my son is 12 weeks tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, he hasn’t been the WORST sleeper but he definitely hasn’t been the best. I have friends who have babies sleeping through the night now or sleep has improved but it seems apparent at the moment his sleep is getting worse.

The sleep was so bad in the beginning that we (safely) co slept for circa 3 weeks and that seemed to improve things when when he turned 8 weeks I then put him back into his next to me.

He went back in ok and started to sleep longer stretches at the beginning of the night so when I first put him down (between 9.30-10.30) he could sleep 4-5 hours stretches then after the first feed (he is exclusively BF) he would then be up a bit more regularly after this. But I started to get around 6 hours of broken sleep a night with a nice 3/4 hour stretch to begin with which started to make me feel a bit more sane.

However, the last few weeks his sleep seems to be getting worse rather than better. Now I have to admit I did try and move his bedtime earlier (between 8-9pm) as I read online this is the time to start bringing it earlier. His day time naps too I think are going ok, he has 2-3 long naps in the day varying from 1-2 hours but I make sure he has 2 hours wake time before bed time. So his realistic bedtime is now between 8.30-9.30pm depending on his last nap and he has been waking at 11.30pm- 12am every night without fail then is up 1-2 hourly after this. Sometimes I am able to resettle with my hand on his chest or with dummy but recently that doesn’t do alot and he inevitably wakes up and will want feeding. Sometimes he won’t feed for very long and falls asleep on me and will go back in so I know he’s only doing it for comfort rather than hunger. He can also fall asleep unaided sometimes if I put him down tired enough and full tummy. he doesn’t always feed to sleep.

Could he just be going through a leap? Will those 4-5 hour stretches come back at all or are they gone forever? I know the dreaded 4 month sleep regression is soon but is there a 3 month too 😂

Everyone keeps saying it gets better but it seems to be getting more difficult for me.

Is there anything I’m not doing which could be helping? I’ve been given lots of advice around it’s the fact that I’m breast feeding that he’s up so much but I really don’t want to give it up.

Thank you in advance x

This does happen and definitely my experience.. we co slept til 6 months as EBF was just easier. At 10 weeks was sleeping through. Now 8 months starts his night in the cot but always ends up with me and feeds at least twice a night. I have found with both kids they were better sleepers as newborns ha. But it does end and they do eventually sleep so I have learnt to just roll with it this time as stressed me out first time

I don’t know any babies that slept through at 3 months old.
My 3 YEAR old still doesn’t sleep through, and I think woke hourly until around 12 months unfortunately.
So I think it’s pretty normal

Don't compare with others. Sleep is a developmental thing and some work it out quicker than others. Nothing you've described is out of the realms of normal, especially for a 12 week old baby.

That’s good to know someone has had a similar experience. He also ends up in the bed with me most nights from 4-5am onwards as it can be easier with BF. Maybe I will try and stress less 😅

The four month sleep regression has hit early! Sorry OP, it's brutal when you're going through it.... but it does end. And maybe the earlier it starts the earlier it ends? I only got linear improvement on sleep after 10 months with both of mine. Eldest didn't sleep through til she was 3! Youngest slept through by 18 months

Sleep doesn’t improve in line with age for most babies and it’s certainly more natural for some babies to sleep better than others. Some also have a very odd definition of sleeping through!

it sounds like you’re doing a lot right. Try to aim for an awake window of 1.5 hours. Try to not feed to sleep. Try to rest yourself! Maybe try a dummy to limit feeds and get full feeds?

low expectations and lots of caffeine will see you through.

For both of mine, the high point of sleep for the first 18m was 1-3m. Mine both slept far longer stretches at 6w than 6m (and my 6yo often doesn't sleep as well as she did at 6w).

Its up and down a lot in the first few years, but definitely not linear.

Both of mine slept through the night at 3 months old. DS2 slept through at nine weeks.

Having said that I don't think there is anything you can actually physically do to control how your baby sleeps. There certainly wasn't anything magical done with either of mine to help them.

DS1 was a miserable baby who cried constantly. He never napped longer than 30 mins and had to be held for all naps. I developed PND and PNA around his crying. This was the price I paid for a baby who slept all night.

I am also in the same situation .
My son is 16 weeks. A few weeks ago, his first stretch of sleep, for the night, increased from 3 hours to 5/6 hours ! So maybe 9-3am then then some shorter naps to get us to 6am when I finally get up for the (lonnnngg) day

Now his first stretch is only 3 hours followed by even shorter stretches to get us to morning

I guess it must be normal ! I'm very much hoping that long stretch comes back soon though !

💐 That sounds tricky OP. My baby needed feeding at 2am until about 6-8 weeks old. Since then, she’s slept through (5:30pm-6:30am). BUT I would go and give her a nightfeed at 10pm before I went to bed myself. She wouldn’t wake up, she’d just take the bottle and continue sleeping. This continued until she was 5.5 months old when she suddenly rejected the nightfeed altogether.

Could you do this - pre-empting his hunger so he hopefully sleeps through. Doesn’t necessarily mean switching to bottle, maybe you could do it as a supplement to BFing. Best of luck.