Toddler torturing us with sleep

[Tiredismyname]

Im convinced my toddler is trying to torture us by sleep depriving us. No matter what we do he wakes 2-3 times a night. Most days he refuses to nap even after having a bad nights sleep. He won’t put himself to sleep, he just messes around kicking his bed, kicking the wall, getting in and out of bed. The only luck we have is if one of us cuddles him to sleep.

As you can imagine this is very tiring since he wakes multiple times a night and won’t put himself back to sleep. Last night I only got 4 hours sleep.

I just don’t understand why he can’t sleep through the night? All my other friends toddlers are sleeping without waking up. I’m just so frustrated and tired.

It's absolutely awful isn't it? Is he developing normally otherwise? My 18 month old has always been horrendous. 8 months of split nights. Now she sleeps through until 5am which is a blessing but from 2:30am she cries out / yells between sleep cycles. Sometimes she screams her head off. I wake up, get ready to go in and by the time I get down the stairs she's put herself back to sleep but she goes mental for 2 mins. It's absolute torture

I am in the exact situation OP with my 17-month DS, except for the first 15 months, he was a brilliant sleeper, until he learnt how to walk. Now he won't settle at night, wakes 2-3 times a night screaming, he's up at 5am! He refuses to fall asleep in his cot. I feel like he is doing his best to drive us crazy! The only saving grace we have is he'll have a 2 hour afternoon nap, but I'm quietly wondering when he will start refusing to nap!

Mine is only 14 months old so whilst technically a toddler he's not long out the baby year, and still wakes a few times most nights. I didn't sleep through until I was 4 and my husband was much the same, so got ourselves to blame I guess.

But it's normal for sleep to be ups and downs (mostly downs) for the first two years, and even then it might not be perfect for a while.

If he likes a cuddle and sleeps better that way can you cosleep?

I feel you OP. I’ve hit my limit and snapped recently and now DH is going in to shush pat her (14m) back to sleep instead of me picking her up and rocking her (for hours). No advice, just sympathy. It’s shit.

Honestly we've had this for about 4 or 5 months now and the only time we get a decent enough sleep is if one of us gets in her bed and spends the rest of the night sleeping in there with her. It works for us but seems unreasonable to many. We bought her a double bed and stopped fighting it and yeah. We all feel better for it.

Oh OP, sympathies. Our 3 year old has gone from perfect sleep to multiple wake ups and being up for the day at 5-5.30. It’s hard. Have you considered a sleep consultant? We got one in desperation when DS was 2.5 and it was life changing. Clearly it only lasts until the next developmental thing but it will give you some good strategies.