4 month regression - creating bad habits??

[Momlife99]

My baby is 4.5 months old and for the last 3-4 weeks he has stopped settling in his cot at night (and often for day time naps as well) and is waking every 40 mins - 1.5 hours at a time. It is taking me sometimes up to 1.5 hours to successfully put him down as he wakes as soon as I move him from my arms. Between the frequent wakings and how long it takes to get him down, I am sleeping such a small amount a night.

We are keeping track of wake windows to ensure that he’s not overtired and he rarely struggles to go to sleep, it’s just the actual sleeping alone and in his cot for an extended period of time that we can’t manage.

I am absolutely exhausted and have started to often fall asleep holding him with myself propped up. I know it’s not safe but at this point I am desperate for us both to get some decent sleep. If we sleep like this he could go up to 3 hours at a time.

i assume we are in a sleep regression but it seems to be relentless!!! I’m worried I’ve created a bad habit by holding him to sleep. Will I ever be able to sleep again?? Please help 😭also before this he was going up to 5 hour stretches at a time, often with just one wake per night.

I’m in the same boat, about 3 weeks in. I’m not sure it’s helpful to you but I’m just doing whatever I can to survive.

Thinking about bad habits for the future feels pointless if I can’t find any other way, but if you find you have a range of things that help your LO sleep then it might be worth choosing the one that you would be happiest / most able to continue long term?

Ive introduced a dummy which is hit and miss but it was either that or the boob every half an hour.

From what I’ve read this should all improve gradually in 2-6 weeks and if not you may consider sleep training to be an option at 6m. If that’s not something you are comfortable with, 6m is still a good time to move things in a more sustainable direction if there are ‘bad habits’ you’re keen to move away from.

There are no bad habits! That is a lie created by the sleep training capitalist agenda. It’s normal for babies to need closeness and comfort, and they will sleep independently when they are ready for it. I also started cosleeping with the 4 month regression (that started at 3.5 months for us!), we were full time bedsharing until 8 months when I transitioned him to a floor bed, then part time ever since as and when he needs it. He’s 13 months old now and has started sleeping through the night the past two weeks (except last night as he has a cold and poor mite is stuffy and snotty)

He also started having independent naps in his own bed at 9 months, before that we exclusively contact napped.

I agree there are no bad habits. Babies need love in the night.

I can't tell anyone what to do but I have much older children, who were never sleep trained or any of that stuff, who we did go to every time, who have no issues with sleep whatsoever.

I'd stop worrying, if possible. First step is burn the sleep manuals.

Just to note OP, depending on the specifics of how you are holding him to sleep there may be a safety issue. In this case you might need to adjust slightly so that you are safely co-sleeping.

This is what I’m doing for the second half of the night.